Smile Through Them Tears

Smile Through Them Tears

Yes,
I know it hurts,
I know you are raw
from being beaten 
too long
and too much.
I know you are stiff
already set in the grave
your lips refuse to move when you are at the edge
of the cliff.
I know the rain has left you
to gallivant somewhere else
to bless
and bring success
to somebody else.
I know you can't stop them
anymore.

So cry if you want to
let it flow down and cover your view
of possibilities.
Get it all out,
who knows,
it may stop the drought and the doubts.
Then maybe you can go about
the business you came here to do.

Shame of Pride

Shame of Pride

I hang my head in shame
a shame milady.
Beaten by the truth.
                     Pride.
The deadlest of all sins.
Hubris leads me to my nemesis.

No it's not a good thing
I now fear looking within
my very soul is in the balance
waiting at the gallows.
I must pull it back
and cage this monster that sits atop my head.
Who is greater than God?
No man!
Today I will learn
that i am not.
To think otherwise
will set you down low.

Instead I must cling to my shipwrecked raft
drifting
 praying to be saved.
I must be saved from drowining.
I have not choice
with Pride I carry the shame of Icarus.

Grant Us Peace

Grant Us Peace

I know how it feels
when the arrow pierces your skin
hits bone and goes deeper within
piercing the very soul.

I have cried out in anguish
throat raw with blood
choking in the blood
from remember what has been.

I have died a little
each time I realise
life doesn't get easier
because you will it so
or because you think you know
the heart of your most loved brethren.

I have woken
many nights
with blood shot-eyes
after seeing the mangled bodies
of innocent lambs
slaughtered just because of man and man.

I know of bone chilling things
that languishes without and within
of a trauma filled void
growing wider and deeper it seems.

I have tasted the petrifingly dark taste
of putrid flesh
as it melts away from the wasted.

So in this hour,
another dark moment a constant threat
that will be filled with many regret.
Grant us Peace!

Point of No Return.

If you have done or said something that you later regret well then we have all been there and done that.

Usually, when this happens the most powerful three letter words are, if I knew. Of course by then it is also too late.

Image result for In everybody’s life there’s a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive

We all experience regret but guess what, it is a negative emotion that we should not dwell on. We can become so consumed by the regrets that we have, that we do not recognize our blessings and worse, do not recognize or accept the opportunities to expand our horizon. We are so traumatized by the one incident that gave birth to a paralyzing sense of regret that become the great stone we cannot remove.

Our sense of regret, at something or somethings that happened in the past, may cause us to want to repent for the rest of our lives. Now that is a sorry state of affairs.

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Sometimes when things happen we have to accept the role we played and if needed, make changes that show our growth.

We need to be at that point of no return when we no longer apologize for what we did in the past, because that is no longer who we are. The thing is, we cannot freeze the past and fix it and the present cannot influence the past. All we can do is continue to life the live we have been given, the best we know how at the stage we are at.

The point of no return can seem ominous based on the situation you are faced with. However, it can be the opportunity you need, that we need, to break free from the regrets of the pas,t to find, that being at this point can only make us stronger; it’s at this point that we either sink or swim.

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Willpower.

Have you ever said to yourself: if only I had the willpower I would be so awesome, or I would be unstoppable!

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However, we deem ourselves to be a bit short on willpower and declare ourselves too lazy, unfit, not smart enough, strong enough, patient enough or generally good enough to make the sacrifices needed to get over the hump, to the other side.

The American Psychology Association notes a 2011 Stress in America Survey, where 27 percent of respondents identified a lack of willpower as a barrier to change.

I recently had a terrible time health-wise and I realized that it was because I had done everything in my power to sustain bad habits. I ate things that made me feel sick because I loved eating them and each time I told myself, this was the last time. Until the next time came around and the cycle was repeated.

The article from The American Psychology Association identified willpower as the, ability to resist short-term temptation in order to meet long term goals. But I am sure all of us at some point have given into the temptation to do something that ended up making our situation worse than what it should have been. So, where willpower is concerned we have failed from time to time. But failing to have the willpower to do or not do something should not be the thing that makes us failures.

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While many persons fail to remain disciplined while working towards a goal, remain hopeful that they will get back on track and continue to move towards it. I certainly have learned from my recent experience and I am doing everything in my power to stay the course. The greatest motivation for me is the knowledge of knowing what I could lose and the reward waiting on the other side – making poor choices is no fun.

The there is also the case where things happen that can undermine your ‘iron clad willpower’. Our mood, belief, and expectations may change and therefore undermine or improve our willpower. Also, the people we hang around may determine how committed we remain to our goals. So, basically our ability to develop and maintain our willpower can be determined by outside influences that may or may not be within our control.

The important thing to remember, is that we all have free will and willpower comes from this. Once we have the will there really is a way. It is never impossible to achieve good things, first we must know what we want and next, be determined to get it. In other words, to get what we want and to get where we want to be will take willpower and a good dose of divine influence.

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And Then… December!

Today is the first day of the last year! And I know many of us are looking forward to this end. It’s time to get ready to end the year with a bang – and it takes all 31 days people.

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For many 2019 has been good and bad in many many ways. There are some who will say that in all honesty, it has been a difficult year in many ways. I’m not saying that it was all bad, but, when you put it all together it has been a year filled with many challenges.

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So we – maybe out of desperate optimism – believe that because it is nearing the end of the year, come 2020 all our struggles will disappear, like magic. We believe that awesome things MUST replace all the difficulties that we have experienced. Well I bet you felt that way at the end of 2018.

2019 is gonna be the best year ever! Until it wasn’t.

Sorry I hate to break this to you – well not really – live doesn’t work like that. Things don’t change because it’s a new day, month or year. The baggage that we carried throughout the year, can still weigh us down next year.

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If we want to get rid of some of the things that we know we don’t need to carry, we should do exactly that; get rid of it. While you get distracted by the revelry, and good cheer of the season remember to keep in mind the need to start working on improving things in 2020 – if you have not done so yet. While it is the beginning of the end for 2019, make sure you’re getting ready to face 2020.

And finally, remember that advent begins today and ends on Christmas Eve; use these four weeks to focus on what will help keep you grounded in the coming year: faithfulness(peace), hope, joy and love!

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Are You A Boxer?

Many will say that Boxer in, Animal Farm by George Orwell, has many admirable qualities that we aspire to have. He is loyal, kind-hearted, hard-working and always willing to go above and beyond the call of duty – an enigma for too many of us. It is also important to mention that the story also acts as a political allegory about revolution and power and those impacted by such events. Specifically, it’s an allegory of the Russian Revolution from 1917-1923. This revolution has been described as a violent one (Bloody Sunday Massacre of 1905), which saw the end of imperial rule and the beginning of Communist rule and the formation of the soviet union.

What starts off in Animal Farm as a successful uprising and promise of a better future losses momentum with the replacement of the old, (Old Major), with the new (Napoleon and his minions). Things quickly go sour as the pigs, in a position of power, manipulate the legacy of Old Major (Animalism), to control the other animals, while solidifying their power and wealth.

And this is where we bring in Boxer…

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I was talking to a friend of mine about working hard at whatever we do, and he mentioned Boxer; ” yuh remember what happened to Boxer, from Animal Farm? Dem tun him inna glue!”

Yes Boxer played a vital role in the development of the farm in its new era. His indomitable spirit inspired the other animals when their fortunes changed and he worked relentlessly for the good of the farm. But at what cost?

Instead of receiving trophies, incentives and other accolades for his effort, and retiring in bliss, he is sold off to be made into glue when he is of no more use! His worth? Whiskey for Napoleon and the other pigs! All that he receives is the title of hard worker, “he was a true hard worker”. He was loyal to a fault and though he was the strongest animal on the farm, he used his strength to serve those who exploited him and not to improve the conditions of the other animals facing the same exploitation. The worse part was that when something went wrong he always blamed himself and vowed to work harder. He had become too use to taking orders, to trying to get things right and always being obedient and never disobedient.

Sometimes we think we are acting independently and never realize that we have been programmed to follow a path created for us; the mind has been programmed.

So, the lasting image of Boxer is his effort to make the mill:

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To see him toiling up the slope inch by inch, his breath coming fast, the tips of his hoofs clawing at the ground, and his great sides matted with sweat, filled everyone with admiration

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Then again, it could be for me the most tragic scene in the book. This is when Boxer taken away to be slaughtered; for Boxer it is the last time we will see or hear him…

…Although the animals warn him, it is too late. Boxer is already loaded into and locked in the truck for the glue factory. His strength is compromised by his failing health. His desperation is apparent by the sound of “tremendous drumming of hoofs inside the van, but he is too weak to break free.

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There are many lesson here:

  1. Be careful who you trust they may take advantage of you!
  2. Never follow anyone blindly, even your friends.
  3. Even the best of us can be controlled and manipulated if we let it happen to us.
  4. Know your worth and never compromise.
  5. Make your own path and lead the way.
  6. Make your dreams a reality and don’t die on someone else’s
  7. Be the best you can be but never be someone’s ladder.
  8. Know and embrace your limitations and never see them as a negative but as a reminder that you will never be unemployed because you’re always working on yourself!

And many more if we think hard enough.

I read Animal Farm when I was fourteen years old and I was so inspired by the revolution carried by the animals, brought to tears by the sacrifice and ill-treatment of Boxer and the other animals. Saddened by the anti-climatic nature of the revolution’s aftermath, especially after Old Major’s death. Angered by the greedy, heartless and corrupt pigs – a suitable animal for such a role! And the really sad truth that there are people who lie, deceive and undermine those who for whatever reason find themselves at a disadvantage. Also, there are many who trust too much, give too much and receive very little or nothing in return, just like Boxer. Their lives become tragic.

Although Boxer had the ability to be an inspiring hero, in this story he is a tragic- hero figure; one to be pitied and pointed at,

“that is what not to do!”

Life teaches hard lessons, never be too gullible to learn them, and learn them well.