No Lie.

The truth is, we are all a little vulnerable, if we allow ourselves to be. We try to do the best we can even when we mess up. Trying should be enough.

When we feel sick both physically and mentally and someone ask how we are doing, sometimes the answer so simple as the question.

Often times when this happens we give the generic responses, take your pick:

I’m okay

I’m good

I’m fine, thank you

Everything is great.

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However, sometimes it’s hard to get those words from the pit of our stomach. All we can manage is, I’m trying. For today and even for the rest of the week that will have to do. It will have to do because it is our truth. We do not complain about what’s happening to us and neither do we need sympathy. All we need is the acceptance that we are trying.

The truth is, the thought of not knowing what will happen to us terrifies us, even though that’s not how we should feel. It’s hard to face the truth of how vulnerable and small we feel from time to time. When nothing goes as planned but you decide to smile and trust the process. When you are even scared of a breakthrough because the reality of that breakthrough, may differ from the one you envisioned.

It’s hard to adjust to reality, when you operated on some premise of how you want the world to be. When you realize how close many people are to losing their humanity and you still have to be here, to witness it. It’s challenging when you know it’s going to be hard for others to understand you, because you don’t understand yourself.

It’s scary to know that your gifts may not be useful to anyone because in their reality it is of no use.

The truth is sometimes when we have tried all that we can and nothing works, all we can do is pray that God will do the rest.

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Point of No Return.

If you have done or said something that you later regret well then we have all been there and done that.

Usually, when this happens the most powerful three letter words are, if I knew. Of course by then it is also too late.

Image result for In everybody’s life there’s a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive

We all experience regret but guess what, it is a negative emotion that we should not dwell on. We can become so consumed by the regrets that we have, that we do not recognize our blessings and worse, do not recognize or accept the opportunities to expand our horizon. We are so traumatized by the one incident that gave birth to a paralyzing sense of regret that become the great stone we cannot remove.

Our sense of regret, at something or somethings that happened in the past, may cause us to want to repent for the rest of our lives. Now that is a sorry state of affairs.

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Sometimes when things happen we have to accept the role we played and if needed, make changes that show our growth.

We need to be at that point of no return when we no longer apologize for what we did in the past, because that is no longer who we are. The thing is, we cannot freeze the past and fix it and the present cannot influence the past. All we can do is continue to life the live we have been given, the best we know how at the stage we are at.

The point of no return can seem ominous based on the situation you are faced with. However, it can be the opportunity you need, that we need, to break free from the regrets of the pas,t to find, that being at this point can only make us stronger; it’s at this point that we either sink or swim.

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It All Begins With A Thought

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny

― Gandhi

I was recently watching a YouTube video in which Marisa Peer spoke on healing the body and mind, and it fit so nicely with this thought that came to me. Our thoughts are where it all begins; it is where we build or destroy ourselves.

When I was younger I would watch the program, Profile on every Sunday on the television. Each week I would feel intimidated by these seemingly outer worldly beings who overcame great adversities to be at the top of whatever profession they had pursued and I thought, “well, I’ll never be one of those persons” and so I would mentally roll my eyes, each Sunday while listening after a while – but still watch it – thinking that this show just makes ordinary people know that they are ordinary.

We are what we think and before we say whatever we say we think it. So if you think you will never do something, you never will.

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From the video with Marisa Peer it all seemed so simply the idea of telling your mind what you want to do. However, if you have practiced negative thoughts all your life, it’s not going to be easy, but, it’s also not impossible. I developed a formula that did not worked for me over the years: in order not to be disappointed, never think positively. And guess what, I never was? This is not because I was always happily surprised by thinks working out, but 8 out of 10 times they did not and I would go, “oh there it is, I was right, life just keeps proving me right, life is so unfair, when will things go my way…” and on and on I would go, until I was paralyzingly depressed. It is obvious then that our thoughts have a lot of power and we can become so use to having certain thoughts, that we do not realize the damage we are doing to ourselves.

In reading up on this, one of the things I constantly see is the idea that we create our reality. Whatever we think really does come true. Because of this we go around feeling like we have second sight, when really we have made those things a reality. We make them real not just by thought but actions that go along along with those thoughts. So, you think you are lacking in some way, and you begin to act as if you are and people label you base on how you act and begin to treat you that way, and you see this as evidence that you really are this way. But it all comes back to you and not those persons, they are just following your lead. You are telling them how you want to be seen and treated – it really has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you!

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For several years I have suffered with some pretty scary panic attacks, which took me to the hospital twice, once I stayed overnight. At one point I drank almost half a bottle of vodka and took a couple of antidepressant tablets because I wanted to die. Luckily it did not work – and none of the persons I live and who live me knows about that so I hope they don’t read this. But, at the time my thought was, ” I can’t even do that right, might as well carry on” and I did. I am still here and I haven’t had a serious panic attack in two years. It’s not because I am “cured”, it’s because I keep telling myself that I want to live and I have so much to look forward to; and, I do!

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Where a thought goes energy goes and healing goes…

Marisa Peer

God gave us the ability to use our minds to accomplish great things, why wouldn’t we fill it with positive thoughts? Our thoughts are more powerful and so we need to be conscious of how we are using them. If you want something to change in your life you first need to assess your thoughts to determine how well they are aligned with your purpose and what you want to make a reality. Your thoughts can mean the difference between life and death.

Shallow Focus of Yellow Flowers

Your personal thoughts carry so much power. It’s important to be mindful of what you spend your time thinking about. Make sure that your thoughts aren’t defeating you or your purpose in life. Fear, doubt, and a negative attitude will continually hold you back. Your journey may be a bumpy one, but I encourage you to never give up! Giving up only does one thing: It keeps you from ever knowing what could have been. Don’t allow your uncertain attitude to be the reason why you don’t succeed. It’s a very sad thing to live your life with regrets. So therefore, giving up is NOT an option for you. Don’t even entertain those thoughts. KEEP MOVING FORWARD, no matter what!

A bird in Hand: By Design.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

Meaning:

It is better to have a lesser yet certain advantage at something, than the possibility of a greater one that may come to nothing.

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Originally, the English proverb above came from the medieval falconry which loosely means that a falcon was worth more than the prey . Etymologically, the expression was first used in the 15th century and then the 13th century Latin expression : Plus valet manibus avis unica quam dupla silvis ( using wood instead of bush). There is also evidence of a similar expression in the 6th century B.C.E of Near Eastern Origin, proverbs of Ahiquar: a sparrow in thy hand is better than a thousand sparrows flying. But is this necessarily true?

It is a proverb I have heard all my life but I am now thinking about it seriously. If we were to think of it, is it always best to hold on to what you have instead of trying for something better? We have to be grateful for what we have, but do we have to always be satisfied with it? What we need to ask is how valuable is the bird in hand versus what we may be chasing.

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Those things that you do not have that you desire how real are they? Many persons now are kind of pretenders – there are some serious catfishing taking place. We see what they want us to see and bam! We are convinced that we have to be them, have what they have and do what they do. So we end up looking at ourselves and our lives and we are bitterly disappointed and just like that we hate what we have achieved – not enough, what we are – lacking in every area!

We don’t realize that we have much more than those we envy, until we lose it.

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While it’s good to strive for more, make sure it’s because you are following a path that is true to who you are and what you believe. This is when you will get what belongs to you, and you will know this because as my granny use to say:

Wat is fi yuh cyaa be un fi yuh”. Meaning – What is yours will always be yours.

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Don’t Worry When You Mess Up!

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Can you relate to the above statement? It can really be frustrating when your sole purpose in doing something, is to do it right -what ever right is – and then have everything just crash and burn, beautifully.

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I am not a patient person and I have resigned myself to this flaw being with me forever. So, currently I am learning the art of being patient. Sometimes it is a lesson I do not want to learn and try to cut corners. When this happens, I make a lot of mistakes – and I do mean a lot. This leads to more work and more time wasted doing: THE SAME THING. So you see why this can be frustrating.

When I started my current degree I gave myself half the time to finish, since then that overconfidence has crashed and burned and I am still looking for some of the pieces. Suffice it to say, I have learned that bumps, cracks and even craters, on the road to achieving anything meaningful is inevitable. Messing up so much was new to me and so for a good time I was terrified by how much I was messing up. Also, what made it worse, was that each time I tried to correct something I made it worse which added to an everlasting list of mess; my list outgrew me and tried to devour me! I was in denial about the mess I was making and became a mess.

But if you make a big enough mess, there is nowhere you can turn to avoid it. Like a monstrous avalanche it can sweep you and your dreams aside, when you do not acknowledge the mess and clean it up. And so until I acknowledged that I did not know how to clean it up on my own, I was sinking in quick sand.

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I am beginning to accept that it is okay to mess up and each day it becomes a little easier to live with making them. But, there is a danger in ignoring the mess you create, because there may come a point when the mess consumes and destroy its creator. So while we all struggle with our individual mess, we need to remember that we may be the creator of the mess but there is no reason we have to stay in it. Pay attention to your life and stop creating the mess you threw out yesterday.

Just remember that mess does not define you.