She Breathed You for A. Wright-Dallen She knew you before you were formed she kissed you. A promise from God Sent when ready. She wrapped you in a cloud Of rainbow kisses. Ready to taste your bitter-sweet moments…. Before she touched you She waited. Till God knew she was ready. Ready to give you the unconditional love you deserved. She breathed you and you breathed her. She had to wait in and out of Patience… She had to move a heavy and ungodly stone stretched every fiber of her being to receive you. She will use every God given talent to keep you safe. she’ll give you strength borne out of love She’ll take your pains and make them her own. Like a warrior she will fight battles with and for you. You belong to her until you belong to yourself. Then she will step offstage cheering. Being your eyes and ears when you cannot find your way a hand permanently stretched waiting always, With love...
Death is Dishonour To lay down and let things fall - or fail is my nemesis stopping seems easier than anything. To struggle seems a constant there is very little room for clemency. If I were to stop who would it hurt? Who would be any the wiser? If I were to sit unmoving surely it would be good the fat lady could finally sing? Would it be so bad to let things die away? All I know All I can think of is the dishonour of letting go.
I got a note from my aunt once and I never really thought much of it. The note was written on a pretty paper and I kept it more so for the pretty print and the sentimental value but not the words she had written.
Then one day I thought about reusing the paper for a gift – it was so pretty! But I realized – because I had forgotten that something was written on it – that I could not use it and I was disappointed and threw it back down.
Much later I took it up and my blood ran cold and my heart skipped a beat:
” I was waiting for something extraordinary to happen but as the years wasted on nothing ever did, until I caused it to” – Charles Bukowski
How did she know? Did she known that she was giving me a gift and a burden? And I cried for the wasted years.
Now, where must I find the courage and how to stop waiting and make my extraordinary come true?
I got so angry yesterday that I erupted like a volcano, spewing lava vitriol in every which direction. I got so mad that I did not care what I said and what I did, all I knew was that I verbally slay all I perceived to be the bane of my existence – they all died a thousand painful deaths yesterday, but I was not satisfied at the end of my verbal massacre. Yes anger can kill.
It burns up everything in its path when it leaves a lingering bitterness that lasts a lifetime. It can destroy relationships, kill your good name and set you back to where you never wanted to return. Worse it can consume you so much that it kills your potential and all that is good within you. In a moment, without thinking – having lost your head – in can destroy your life.
It is never good to speak out in anger, nothing good ever comes of it. While we are humans and are susceptible to deep passions, we should never allow our anger to take control of common sense and leave us exposed to the hidden dangers our anger brings. We should never be quick to speak out – in anger it is more of a shouting thing – or act from a place of anger. The funny thing is we never learn this lesson well and so must continue to suffer when we act carelessly in our anger. Many times it defeats us more than we defeat it.
Anger can make monsters of us all, like cannibals we tear each other a part verbally and physically and later regret becomes a sad companion. But often when we attack in anger, it comes from a place of hurt, fear, frustration or even misguided assumptions. We never stop learning about ourselves and sometimes through our angry we see how ugly we can be and I don’t want that energy in my life. So each day I have to decide to thin respectfully of others and be positive no matter the situation and operate from a place of love, a love that will bring me peace of mind. Anger is not productive, it leads to nothing positive and can lead to our downfall. So be careful of that monster and slay it every time it comes uninvited and turns you away from your Jekyll into your Hyde.
The Deferred Dream... What happens to a dream deferred? I am wasting here in no man's land... I have reached out for you grabbed at your garment but collect only dirt... I have tried to entice you tempt you out of your trap but you turn to it for comfort... I have tried to lift you spirit you away but too weak I sag... your burdens are too heavy for me... Before you are consumed by what you lack grab me! Your madness may explode! Must I remain here? Must I become dust too? Must I watch as you struggle blindly - watch you choke on your own bile of regret? Must I too die in a ditch forgotten? Must we both suffer because you lack divining?
That Day S.G That day I woke up and the sun was shining and all was right with the world. It was an ordinary day just another day... That day I laughed ate and played just like any other day... Then my world stopped that day I was faced with death that day my world shifted off Centre and has never realigned... Now doom is everywhere Father time smiles no more and I can hear no longer my own childish laughter nor feel the beat of the wonder of young bloom. In my web of doubt I am caught and choke at my own uncertainties... That day not long ago when you left me you took a small bit of my soul...
Know your truth and not what the world tells you. To live and live well, means knowing who you are and what you can do. To be small does not mean you are insignificant, it just means that you are at your limit and your efforts are immeasurable for where you are. These words are easy to write but very hard to live out. We want to make it big, want to be something big and ignore that size does not matter but what does is impact. To be localized does not mean we are trapped, does not mean we are rooted, but that we can concentrate all our resources, talents and expertise in a space that needs it, where it will have the greatest impact.
Sometimes chasing a dream because it has been taught as the ideal does not lead to bliss but perpetual nightmares that carry us further and further away from our center. It is so easy to be decentered by our willful desire to be exceptional, but we can be exceptional right where we are. Too many are waiting on the opportunity to be themselves to live their truth and give of their best. When we wait we allow time to dictate what we can be instead of us determining how best to use time to our advantage. It is a slippery slope down the hillside filled with good intentions that were never properly planted. And so the roots are shallow and cannot hold our weight.
We cannot depend on someone else’s vision board to arrive at our truth. That truth is theirs and should never be measured along side our specificity. We must instead find our own course and ride the wave to its predestined destination. Similarly, the words that someone else utters can never be forced fed to us by us, or others. For if we are to do this we will surely choke on them, because we will not be able to fit them properly in our mouth and down our throats.
Your truth is your truth and nothing will change this. There is no amount of wishing, hoping or prayer that will change this. Instead take the time to focus on shaping it as best you can so you can reap good fruits from it and not rely on hand outs or left overs.