Category: self-care

Waiting to be Chosen

Do you see her over there sitting still feet tapping away? He is waiting to be chosen. Do you see her on her knees bleeding, she has been in that same spot all her life trying to earn some love, seeking someone to pat her on the head and say, “well done.” She is well trained to wait, wait to be chosen. They struggle to get up but are weighed down by the voices of their critics and the mountain of self-doubt that has blocked their progress. They both will remain where they are if they never cast off the chain of subjugation and stop waiting for the grudging approval of those they love or loathe, those they fear or envy. The ball is in their court but they do not have the vision to see that it is.

They at some point will realise that being liked is not all that great, because it has meant they have been left empty by marauding figures fronting as their friends. You see they had never taken the time to just be by themselves and think things through. They had always felt out of breath from the seemingly constant need to catch up. But they never could, they never did. They never could! They were chasing something that never was. While they chase time they missed out on their present. They thought chasing would take them to their dreams but they forget to count the moments right in front of them. So while they cleared a space to put those they felt belonged they had pushed themselves out and they could not return, the space was now too crowded and no one would let them in, again.

Now they stand on the edge looking in, while all around them fertile soil go to waste because they never realised they could start again, wiser than they were yesterday. What they do instead, is work harder to get admitted again, but the danger is that they make it easier for more faults to be found and the entry requirements do get longer. The sad thing is that they wanted to shower all their love on those who are careless with this love but they never spare any time to really like themselves. SO they languish in the waiting room trying to earn that spot when all they had to do was to choose themselves instead of waiting to be chosen.

Accountability

Do you still blame your situation on circumstances beyond your control? I do. All the time. And I know I need to stop. I know it solves nothing. I know it leads nowhere.

9 Accountability Quotes to Inspire Action — Info Product Conversion Copywriter

It is so easy to blame your problems on things outside yourself. It is so tempting to offload all of that responsibility onto something else, especially if you feel or know within your heart it is justified. However, what purpose does this serve? Does it mean that by blaming others or something else, we can work through or even solve those problems?

When we think about accountability, we often times, think in terms of someone else. It is hard for many of us to separate our feelings from fact and see that we may have a lot of responsibility for the undesirable seasons we find ourselves in. When the wound is fresh and we are blinded by the pain of a particular situation we ignore the fact that the vehicle that carried us to where we are, are based on the decisions and choices that we made. Yes, those behind it may be evil, wicked people, but did we know that they were evil, wicked people going in? Did we know we were entering blindly, lacking the proper wisdom and knowledge and still went in? Did we know that we were starting something that held no guarantee, but we did it anyway. Now we are devastated because the results do not match our expectations – even if we knew those expectations were baseless.

Yes, there are times when really, things just happen and we have to roll with the punches and make the best of a bad situation. On the other hand, what we choose to do after the unexpected, may require us to take some if not all of the blame for the way things turned out. Things happen, all the time, but how we react to those things is a choice we make, whether it takes an eternity or a split second to make that choice. At the end of the day it was a choice that we made. There is no going back from it and there is no hiding from it either.

Can we take accountability fully and stop watching as things fall a part? When we see things are not working out, whether with a project we are working on, a relationship, job or friendship, we may need to step into solution mode and stop blaming everything around us. Do you know someone who seems to never get along with anyone, never fit in anywhere and can never do anything right? Maybe we check those boxes? Well at what point does it become a matter of that person taking a good look internally, and not what others have done or not done, not focusing on what opportunities were given or not given, but at what that person did or not do, believe or not believe assumed or not assumed? Unless there are perfect persons walking here on earth, then at some point the continuous valley season some of us experience may more than likely have something to do with what we are doing or not doing.

Accountability is necessary. It is important to hold others accountable but it is more important in solving our own problems, to make sure that we are holding ourselves accountable. So no excuses, do not fall in the trap of being a bystander in your own life, take accountability, know what you are about, take back your power and do what is needed to write your story in the way you see fit.

Steve Maraboli Quotes on Accountability - BukRate

Remove that Dark Cloud

Change your position and remove that dark cloud hanging over you.

This is the message I got today and I want to share it. We are all guilty for, at one time or another, chasing something that is not for us and running from what is. Have you noticed how much trouble this brings? Well it does, we deceive ourselves by thinking the way we are going is the only way and we run away from the centre of who we are. We choose to ignore where we should go and do because, we don’t like it. We see everyone else moving in a wave and it looks cool and we want to be a part of it, but we are better off going the opposite way.

We entre relationships, hold on to them when they bring us more harm than good. Then, we wonder why nothing ever works out, why people leave and why we just seem to always in the wrong crowd. We pick at the tree that is not fruitful, a tree that is not flourishing and expect to be nourished. But the roots of that tree is rotting and because we are blind we cannot see, because we have lost our sense of smell we can smell the stench that warns of the dangers and damage that this rotting tree will bring.

When things are falling a part do we really need to go down with the ship? Of course not! We need to stop going, stop thinking that if we just carry on things will get better, that things will change. But we need to be humble enough to know when to let go, to admit that the decisions we made were mistake, to say sorry and get back on the path we should have stayed on, doing what we were meant to be doing. We need to wake up in those times and do something, not read self help books and internalize what we read, we need to always be willing to do the work that will remove the dark cloud over our heads.

We all are different, but we all can relate to having those clouds over us. We need to take the time to remove them to truly talk through them, so we can experience the brilliant light hiding behind them.

Stop Cutting Onions

Stop Cutting Onions

No it's not that I'm crying
it's just that my eyes are sweating.
What miracle- or curse- is this 
that I have this waterworks condition.
No her pain is not the cause 
of the water that you see
it's not the news of her passing
it's the onions you see.
Who said the purple ones
were sweet and would not attack,
my dear
they are the most vicious
of the lot!
I think I will take a break
go and lie down
the burden of their juice
is too great.
If I stay a while longer I might drown.

Hurt people Hurt

Hurt people Hurt

i am not a toy
you can play with
when i displease you
you cannot put me away
when you need me
you cannot then
pick me back up
i am not here for your pleasure
to dance and shift
as your whim fancies
i'm not here today
and gone tomorrow
like a figment of your imagination
i am not a pet project
a hobby
that bears the essence of a novelty
to wish me dead
because i harmed you
and to lift me up when i please you
i am not your mirror
to reflect what you need to see
your voice that soothes your ego
your pleasure is not my pain
so i will not claim it
you cannot know me
because you have not earned that right
my i will become my I
now hear me!

did you hear me?

Yes.
To divest from selfish to self-less
I  peeked into hell
and as I did
I looked deeply
too deeply
and saw carnage
some created by me.

Let’s Reciprocate

Let's Reciprocate  

you have your plans
and I've got mine
don't expect them to align
all the time,
just don't see me and mine
as your dime.
Take what I can give 
and be satisfied
just walk your walk
look at you
and let me carry this burden
but let it not be a burden for two.
take your time to figure you out
but while you're at it
do not devalue my worth!
lean on me 
when you're not strong
but let's reciprocate
cause only a one side lean  
could be seen as hate.
so though we can grow and blossom together
let me tend to me and prune me 
while you do you sometimes
from time to time or whenever.

I’m Still Blessed.

I'm Still Blessed


I wade in wader almost to my head
I'm still blessed.
I walk bare on these embers 
I'm still blessed.
Frost bites on top of frost bites
I'm still blessed.
My tears grow each day uncountable
I'm still blessed.
Grief stuck a blade deep in my heart
I'm still blessed.
I crawl across deserts unable to walk
I'm still blessed.
My eyes gorged out by injustices
I'm still blessed.
slowly I bleed out everywhere
I'm still blessed.
mutilated for my humanity
I'm still blessed.
In chains I must rise daily
I'm still blessed.
Thrown over cliffs to swim or sink
I'm still blessed.
Into an empty I've been caste
I'm still blessed.
Left to starve on my own bile
I'm still blessed.

My anchor holds me down
the sun still rises in the east each morning
My tremulous heart still beats
A light guides me
comes out of me
and tells me
you still have a reason
you're still blessed.