they are a peculiar lot
who love a whole lot
but certainly not enough
for those who stray too far.
They give with all their might
once you give them delight,
but none of the real stuff
that truly matters at the right time.

a curious set
that can at once love and detest
those that test
and disgrace,

"but we are blood".

are most perplexing a breed
for they have the power
to kill your dreams
but never seem
to realise that they
are at the centre of your demise.

can you ever escape them?
Do you wish to?

Keeping it Real

Keeping It Real

I have been designed many times:
who I am
who I should be 
who I was meant to be.
But none asked  
what I am to me
what I was meant to be
or what I see in me.

They count the years
and fuel my fears
with their unasked for expectations.
No one seems willing
for me to be me -
They will say they do-

      There is the lie.

They can't handle the truth of me.
And so they see what they want to see
the maddening fever of their mirage.
they polish up and shine
the me they designed
and leave me to languish,
on the shelf.
There I sit
after having been split
by good intentions
and kind words,
struggling to reassemble myself
while you nurture a leprechaun elf.

I Try and Compose Myself

I Try and Compose Myself

I stay still
and pray for the will
to keep myself together.
The more I try
to shut my eyes
A little piece of me
falls away 
like the burnish autumn leaves.
Silently too like an old banshee
I scream from the fright
of what this could mean.
Layer after layer melted in a scurry
while I sat nervously
fretting and sweating with worry - 
what could this mean?

As each layer continues to fall away - 
to de-compose
and expose -
What I see,
is a deep down rawness
of a tale no one knows - 
not even me.

The Fruitless Life

The Fruitless Life

Down a dark desolate lane
devoid of colour
forever grey
to a railway where 
no one comes
except the tramps
who pick at decaying crumbs.
The fruitless life...

The streams dried up
drought has taken its toll
and what once was new
is now old
and you sit in the cold
youth half decayed.
The fruitless life...

First fruit no more
that blossoms sure,
for all has been swept away
all perish.
The fruitless life...

The Sinner

The Sinner

I am the bride
In whiteI am filled with pride
I cannot be touched
because God loves me so much
I have no sins to hide.

So you use religion as a crutch
But you I know by your lust,
depraved mind which makes you blind
to the incremental nature of your soul's decline
with each monstrous tide.

How dear you!
With your limited view
tell me about sin.
There is no fault within
and if so it is not for you to spin
my sins back into the light.

You both are wrong 
and rather bold,
to think you can either of you
speak truth
when still you are tainted from within
by that corrupted man that loves sin.



et tu Brutus?
Was a wound ever so deep?
"Ista quidem vis est!"
But the damage was done.
Faster than the bullet from a gun
love, trust and camaraderie condemned
never to rise again.
On the tree of misguided self-righteousness
a single groan signaled the end
no more words uttered.

Let us mourn what was
that is no more.
What could have been
now stunted within the sin
of betrayal.
Now I must shed this skin
of innocence spun in deceit.
Now to get the salt and pepper
not to kill you -
but to find something new
something that is true...

What if God was One of Us?

Have you ever said something to the effect, “If I were God, they would all be destroyed”, (simply because someone lied or more seriously, committed a crime), or “they should be thankful I am not God”? Yes, if many of us were God or had the power of God what destruction and chaos would we cause! But thank God we do not have that kind of power. Yet there are many in powerful positions who act god-like and do create a world where there is a constant haemorrhaging of peace, joy and hope. This is because many who have power abuse it and oftentimes are so enamoured with this power that when faced with a decision that affected the vulnerable and those of questionable character, they often throw out the baby with the bathwater.

I was reading Daniel chapter 2 and this became obvious to me: if God was like one of us where would we be? Numbers 23 verse 19 gives a clue when it states, God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? God is unlike man because God does not lie, has no faults, whatever He says shall be done and makes all things good. Now, I return to Daniel chapter 2. In this chapter, we are told that Nebuchadnezzar’s had a dream and he not only wanted it interpreted but first, revealed by the magicians, the enchanters, the sorcerers, and the Chaldeans. The only problem was they could not do so. It is clear that they tried to buy some time, begging the king to be reasonable and tell them the dream so they could interpret it, as was the normal order of things. But, Nebuchadnezzar did not trust them not to make something up on the fly, once they got the dream and he had a point here, because how would he know their interpretation was truthful or made up! So, he gave them an ultimatum, which probably sounded something like this “either tell me my dream and interpret it or I will kill every single one of you in Babylon”, even those who were not present or had not been given a shot at attempting his request. They all would die because he was angry at those present. I felt this was a bit harsh. What do you think?

So with the threat of certain death for all who fell under one of these categories, Daniel steps up and says, “wait, not so fast, give me some time to speak to my God and I know He will reveal all to me, so, I can give the king the answers he needs and he can save the lives of all those who now face certain death.” In the end, God comes through and Daniel is able to give the dream to Nebuchadnezzar and the interpretation as given to him by God. This leads to all being saved and Daniel acquires so much power and authority within Babylonia. However, if Daniel had failed like the others we would be reading a different story, but for God.

Now, I compare the decree made in the kingdom of Babylon, by its ruler Nebuchadnezzar, and that of God’s Kingdom in the parable spoken of by Jesus in Matthew 13. Now according to Matthew 13:24-48, in the Kingdom of God, good seeds planted by the owner of the land, are compromised by weeds planted by his enemy. The servants eventually realise what has been done, weeds growing with wheat! With this new knowledge, they ask, “should we yank out those weeds?” In his wisdom, the owner (God) says no. Why does he say this, after all this is a good solution, right? The wheat may be mistaken for weeds at this stage and vice versa which would be disastrous for the harvest. So his solution, let them both grow till the harvest. Now if we compare Nebuchadnezzar with God’s foresight, we realise how far apart they are in wisdom. Nebuchadnezzar suspected or even knew his Chaldeans, wizards, astrologers etc were charlatans but he could not discern if all supposed wise men in his kingdom were real or fake. His solution was to “cut off all their heads!” However, in the parable in Matthew 13, God was not willing to lose even one good seed planted because of a few undesirables that had found their way into his field. “Let them grow together until it is time for the separation”. So grow together they would, until the day of harvest. On the day of harvest, the weeds would be gathered and burned and the wheat gathered and stored in the barn. A much better solution to a tricky situation!

Unlike Nebuchadnezzar, God does not need to discern because he knows all, God in all His wisdom shows that His thoughts are not our thoughts and his ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8). He does not act out of frustration but is measured in His judgement. Therefore we should all be thankful God is not like us.