My One Confession

My One Confession

In this dark hour
when my life
pride would devour,
I know
I can do nothing
no matter what I own
no matter my great feats
I cannot heal
without my Sustainer.
I am industrious
smart
know all - 
But Father,
I can do nothing
be nothing,
except by your grace.

Mighty One

Mighty One
             For Karen Mighty-Byfield

Mighty one.
Powerful and strong.
To this land you belong
For in no one’s box do you stand.
So you must run
To find your wings
And fly to Destiny.

Beautiful one,
You were brave all along
And now you know
That fear taught you your song
No more can you be overrun
By regret so deep
And nightmarish sleep
That aimed at your dreams.
Because now you know
The secret of your hips 
As they swish and dip
To your promised destination.

Our Self-Sabotaging Ways

Self-sabotage is a real thing. To know you are within sight of achieving your goals but self-doubt and your ego trip you up and fear keep you down is the reality for too many among us. 

Self-doubt 

Self-doubt is one of our greatest nemeses. It tells you, you cannot do anything and you cannot achieve anything, that you are limited by your limitations. For whatever reason, we feel compelled to second guess everything we do. In many instances, we may seem to take steps forward but because of self-doubt, we take even more steps backwards that keep us from what we truly want. Debilitating self-doubt means deferred or abandoned dreams which is the tragic reality for too many. Too many who have been buried with their potential, potential, as Myles Munroe said in one of his sermons, robbed the world of great books, great inventions or great ideas that could have led to transforming lives.

The Ego When it is Negative 

Now, this is a tough one. Our ego distorts our impression of ourselves. It can make us see ourselves constantly needing to prove something when all we need to do is stay within the bounds of what we can do at a particular time. So, to prove we can in every way we overextend ourselves and our resources and try to be an overachiever when no one asked us to be. As a matter of fact, no one required this of us, except our ego, which we work hard to appease to the detriment of our possible success. 

No one has the answers to all we need to know in this life. But we can take the time to reset and reevaluate where we are to avoid self-sabotaging our way through life. We have to return to the simple truth, “once we know better, we must do better”. We know what we must do to be true to who we are to avoid self-sabotage. Let us stop with poor thinking, excuses, self-doubt and a ‘woe are me’, mentality when all we need to do, is do what is right. Nothing is wrong with having a healthy view

of yourself, I believe it is necessary. However, we need to come to terms with the truth that we are not always authentic and we need to be more authentic and more intentional about who we are and how we want to be treated by other.

Fear Can Imprison Us

Then there is fear, the biggest nemesis to self-actualisation. We court fear when we doubt everything we do or say. Fear can come from feeling that at any moment people will realise that we are a fraud and we don’t belong. Such thinking ultimately can lead us to do everything except what we need to do to be on our way, to our business. The vicious cycle that fear can produce will have us seeing a light but remaining in the shadows, frustrated with our inability to move when we need to move. We cannot allow fear to have a stronghold on our minds and in our souls. Once it is there, it will never want to leave because it finds fertile ground to thrive. Let us instead do things anyway, even if you cannot utter a word because if you try to you now you will choke. Move even if it takes all your strength because you have to fight against an insane logic that tells you survival rests in being inactive.

It’s hard but we have to constantly fight against our self-sabotaging ways. For if we do not, how can we truly be the best we can be and experience the joy of living in our truth?

Freedom

Freedom

What does any of us know
about freedom?

Have you felt high
knowing no fear.

You walk down the road
with steps light like the air.

Have you felt the wind
sweep you along.

Knowing worldly cares
do not belong
where you are.

Freedom is the treasure
when you have nothing,
owe no one
and belong to no doctrine.

Freedom is a fat camel
that glides through the needle's eye:

unbothered
unprepared
but unencumbered
by Life's cares.

Freedom is losing it all
but knowing finally
you have gained your soul
by breaking through life's prison walls.

Dis ease

Dis ease

Discomfort
disagrees,
causes dismay
and distrust
causing dislike.

Dis ease
disconnects
disgracefully,
dismisses
disintoxication
disrespectfully.
makes you its slave.

Dis ease in the body
will make you sorry
if with it you tarry too long
and make it feel like it belongs.

This Feels Like God

This Feels Like God

Each raindrop falling on leaves
that gives me so much peace
and with the sun shining down on me
a light that makes me see
the hand of God.
A gentle gigle 
floating in the breeze
that gets entagled with the trees
reminds me of the innocence
of one who believes
in the promises of miracles.
A gentle flowing stream
that carries the wonders of life
that washes over me 
and sets me free
to grow, swell and just be free.
In a truh that never cease
For truth God holds the keys
and so because this truth I know
I say, "Yes Lord I agree".

A Place of My Own

What if there was a place that was all your own? A place that no one could invade at will, order for you or dictate what you could do. Finding a place of your own is often associated with your living situation. Moving to your own place shows your independence. However, sometimes, even after doing this we still have this burning desire to have a place of our own in this world. This could stem from feeling trapped in one or all areas of our lives. So we go on a quest to find that place.

Finding a place of our own takes many far and wide and along the way, some may get lost and are never heard from again. Some try to begin by looking back. Here, they may find the past a bitter pill to swallow and end up choking on their bile. So what to do but pretend, pretend as if we have the answers, know what to do, and make a mess on top of the mess we forgot or could not bring ourselves to clean up.

So is it that it is so hard to find that place? For many they spend their lives on that quest and end up going in circles, ending up where they began. But what if (hypothetical of course) we could cut through the noise that is this world and find our place? We would have to sift through too many things that do not matter but that now dominate our minds, heart and soul. We would have to let go of so many things to recapture our souls.

Now, this leads all the way back to each of us and guess what? It was always about us. That place we are trying to find required us to properly know ourselves. Trying to find something that was never lost now that is the joke because you knew all along with that that occupying that place was inside of you. You know the answers but they are too scary to contemplate, you have the plan but you seem frozen in that same place. You know you must come to terms with all of yourself and move outside of the world created for you by others who don’t really know or want to know you.

Finding a place of your own is half the work because first, you have to know who you want to be when you find that place.