Does it always seem you have to be guarding against yourself. Is your greatest enemy you? In a lot of ways, we can be our harshest critic and our greatest liability. I am not here to sprout any words of wisdom, not today at least but to ask some really important questions for self-reflection.
Question 1: Who taught us that we need to be perfect? At what stage in life did we accept that our value lies in successfully jumping the hurdles life places before us? I have come to recognise in myself a need for perfection that has time and again led to some very imperfect results. it seems the more we strive for perfection the worse we perform. However, recognising this very poor tendency to aim for perfection does not mean it is easy to overcome. When I think I have mastered the art of accepting my flaws I am reminded that indeed I have not!
Question 2: Why are we obsessed with the past time of comparing ourselves with others? We know that comparison is the thief of joy, but we persist in doing so. There is no way that I can be anyone other than myself and yet we may find ourselves being drawn into this unwanted sport of comparisons.
Question 3: Why do we try to please others? I have been guilty of trying to fit into the mould someone created form. Do you know what happens when you squeeze into a mould not designed for you? If you are successful in your squeezing it disfigured you. You morph into a contradictory shape of the original that will never match it, to even come close to it.
Question 4: Why do we hold on to things that are destroying us? This is one of the saddest and scariest things we do. We know we should let go, we tell ourselves we will and yet actually doing so is so painfully hard. Why? I think fear has a lot to do with it.
Question 5: Why do we allow fear to control us? I think life would be so much better if we became fearless. Not a little more fearless, because too many persons have no concept of what it is to be fearless. There are too many of us who allow fear to control every decision, every action and every word we utter. We have to find and way to do things, say things and be in spite of those naggingly annoying fear waiting to trip us up.
There is no easy answer to overcoming self-sabotage. It’s a daily struggle we have to fight with and win. Keep fighting.