When No Means Power

How many of us when asked to do something that we do not want to do ultimately surrender to the dreaded, “yes”?

The Burden

“No” has always been a difficult word for me to use. It is a powerful word many of us are terrified to use in a world today that loves a “yes man”. I had been taught to be agreeable, obedient and reliable, therefore, “no” was a forgotten distant relative in my vocabulary. So, most of my life I have been saying “yes”. Yes to things I had no business saying yes to. Until yes became a word I hated but could not stop saying; much like an addict hooked on a drug that has become a burden too great to carry or a donkey that has finally met its match.

What’s Wrong with “Yes”?

Saying “yes” is also powerful. It can bring opportunities you never imagined and foster relationships that become unbreakable. However, saying “yes” can also destroy. It can destroy relationships when you cannot honor those promises you made, not because you wanted to but because you felt you had to do to remain on good terms with others. It can prove destructive when that thing or person that was at the center of your “yes” starts being something or someone that you resent and that promise becomes a bitter regret. Sometimes we are too desperate to be liked by others to be accepted and we are disingenuous because we are afraid of rejection. If the people we value really love us they will accept our “no” as final.

“No” is a Golden Nugget

No becomes most valuable when you realize that the time is not right and the opportunities are not for you and the only wise choice is to bravely say “no”. We all want to make our family or friends happy by agreeing with them and doing what makes them happy but, “no” can be the kindest way to prevent false expectations. We only defeat ourselves when we say yes when we don’t mean it; because, those three little words can cause great heartbreak when we cannot live up to it and life becomes a tragedy for all in our today because of our yes of yesterday.

So we need to stop and think, about giving honest answers even if people get upset with us. Let them be upset and disappointed today, so that your life does not become a comedy of errors because you could never say no. We should always ask ourselves this, “do I really want to do this?”. Do not rush into a situation without having all the details and questioning the truth presented as presented by others.When you say no never justify or give excuses for your answer. Hold tight to that “no” and never let it go.