Peace is My Weapon You want to fight? Good. Go ahead. I wont stop you infact I wont lift a finger to help you. You there, huff and puff while I sit in the shade watching the clock go tick, tick, tick. Not done? Good. Let me then lay a little in the sun tell me when you are done playing the Hun. Tell me when you are ready to take up peace and bury the poison in your heart, so we can have a clean start.
I had a conversation with myself just the other day…
“Is it worth it? Is it really worth it to be here with everyone else? Imagine living on your own Island, what peace! There would be no one to compare yourself to. You could do what you wanted to do, and there would be no disapproving parents, friend, family to make you feel bad about your choices. Imagine, there would be no need for you to every do anything you don’t want to do! wouldn’t that be heavenly?”
“But what would you do?” “Wouldn’t it be lonely?”
“Nope and no”. Why would I be lonely? I know there would be no suffering, no one to miss, death would not invade my world. All the garbage and filth in this world would not be a part of my island. If at first I missed anyone it would leave me, we tend to forget after awhile and any pain at leaving then behind would fade. But oh! What peace I would find on my island. Far, far away from it all!”
“I don’t think you would be happy, being all alone I think you would get bored on that island. Think about it, have you every lived on your own?”
“Well, I hate living in this world but I don’t want to die, so the best solution is to go somewhere where I will be happy”.
“You don’t want to die, why? Would you miss anything here, could that be why?”
” I wish I could take, all the beauty here, all the things I love and take somewhere else. I have suffered so much here and I know more is to come, maybe it’s better if I could run”.
“You don’t know what troubles may be on your island. earth did not begin the way it is today”
” But why do I have to face the uncertainties of a world that can bring such sadness, such loss, pain and permanency?”
“But here you are not alone. Here there are persons who love you. Persons who want you to find peace. Here is the opportunity to rely on and learn from those around you. Right here where you are is the help that you need, if only you would look, if only you would see.”
And so I thought about that conversation, these questions kept repeating. Could it be true? Was there a possibility to find peace here and not only on my island, to be content with the closeness of others? Could peace really exist with me and you and you and me?
The truth is, we are all a little vulnerable, if we allow ourselves to be. We try to do the best we can even when we mess up. Trying should be enough.
When we feel sick both physically and mentally and someone ask how we are doing, sometimes the answer so simple as the question.
Often times when this happens we give the generic responses, take your pick:
I’m fine, thank you
Everything is great.
However, sometimes it’s hard to get those words from the pit of our stomach. All we can manage is, I’m trying. For today and even for the rest of the week that will have to do. It will have to do because it is our truth. We do not complain about what’s happening to us and neither do we need sympathy. All we need is the acceptance that we are trying.
The truth is, the thought of not knowing what will happen to us terrifies us, even though that’s not how we should feel. It’s hard to face the truth of how vulnerable and small we feel from time to time. When nothing goes as planned but you decide to smile and trust the process. When you are even scared of a breakthrough because the reality of that breakthrough, may differ from the one you envisioned.
It’s hard to adjust to reality, when you operated on some premise of how you want the world to be. When you realize how close many people are to losing their humanity and you still have to be here, to witness it. It’s challenging when you know it’s going to be hard for others to understand you, because you don’t understand yourself.
It’s scary to know that your gifts may not be useful to anyone because in their reality it is of no use.
The truth is sometimes when we have tried all that we can and nothing works, all we can do is pray that God will do the rest.
The way of peace they do not know;Isaiah 59:8
there is no justice in their paths.
They have turned them into crooked roads;
no one who walks along them will know peace.
There are many paths you can take in life and many can lead to peace and others lead to war, whether it is internal or external.
There are times that we seek peace in the wrong places. Also, we seek it from people we surround ourselves with. Peace is not a commodity that can be traded and therefore, though free, it requires a great deal of spiritual connectedness to tap into much needed contentedness.
The absence of peace begins inside a person and overflows to impact those he or she becomes connected to, whether directly or indirectly. Sometimes it’s necessary to tune everyone out and walk in peace. I recently went walking through my home town of Spanish Town. It is a town notorious, in the past and maybe the present, for sudden violent outbreaks, usually based on gang related activities. But today I walked through narrow streets and lanes that I had never walked with anyone. And on my walk I felt a sense of being at peace in the world. There was no one with me on that walk and it felt good to have a clear solitude, that was only concerned with putting one foot in front of the other.
Peace is not something that can be bought nor traded, it is available for all to experience.
While I walked, I had to decide whether I would travel in the areas that seemed uncertain, less traveled and so I took a chance, veering on to an empty road. Walking on that road I saw no one, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that the path I had chosen further extended the sense of peace and quiet I was enjoying. The area far from what I thought it would be, was aesthetically pleasing to the sight. The road was so clean, that it seemed not to match the rest of the town. The old fashioned Georgian styled homes that echoed a colonial past, had been brought back to live with vibrant colors and love. On passing through that seeming oasis, I realized that peace is available anywhere if that is what we seek. After I had left that little wonder, I came out feeling revitalized, as I too had been brought back to life on my solitary walk.
Therefore, when I reemerged into the hustle and bustle of the terminus to take the taxi home, I felt I would be alright.
That all that had troubled my mind before, had been beaten into submission and taken away.