Can you relate to the above statement? It can really be frustrating when your sole purpose in doing something, is to do it right -what ever right is – and then have everything just crash and burn, beautifully.
I am not a patient person and I have resigned myself to this flaw being with me forever. So, currently I am learning the art of being patient. Sometimes it is a lesson I do not want to learn and try to cut corners. When this happens, I make a lot of mistakes – and I do mean a lot. This leads to more work and more time wasted doing: THE SAME THING. So you see why this can be frustrating.
When I started my current degree I gave myself half the time to finish, since then that overconfidence has crashed and burned and I am still looking for some of the pieces. Suffice it to say, I have learned that bumps, cracks and even craters, on the road to achieving anything meaningful is inevitable. Messing up so much was new to me and so for a good time I was terrified by how much I was messing up. Also, what made it worse, was that each time I tried to correct something I made it worse which added to an everlasting list of mess; my list outgrew me and tried to devour me! I was in denial about the mess I was making and became a mess.
But if you make a big enough mess, there is nowhere you can turn to avoid it. Like a monstrous avalanche it can sweep you and your dreams aside, when you do not acknowledge the mess and clean it up. And so until I acknowledged that I did not know how to clean it up on my own, I was sinking in quick sand.
I am beginning to accept that it is okay to mess up and each day it becomes a little easier to live with making them. But, there is a danger in ignoring the mess you create, because there may come a point when the mess consumes and destroy its creator. So while we all struggle with our individual mess, we need to remember that we may be the creator of the mess but there is no reason we have to stay in it. Pay attention to your life and stop creating the mess you threw out yesterday.
Just remember that mess does not define you.
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