Learn to Dance in the Rain

I saw this quote recently and it coincided with some hard truths I stumbled upon. Lately, I have felt immobile by regret, discontent and a feeling of utter dissatisfaction with the state of my life. I know a part of this was burn out but it was also a malignant feeling of seeming never to truly be making progress in any area of my life. It came from a sudden attack of feeling stuck in life and realising that I was not blameless in this. I realise that the time has come for me to admit and accept some hard truths and this episode of discontent has revealed some true gems that have birthed great discomfort for me.

Some Hard Truths:

  1. The hand that wields the sword is more dangerous than the sword itself: I am pretty sure that you have heard some version of this before. However, for me, it has come to mean that I am not blameless in the state of dissatisfaction and discontent I am experiencing now. I have continued to make the same mistakes expecting a different result because of how earnest I am about experiencing change. I am earnest but my actions have done more harm than good. I need to take accountability in this regard.
  2. Do not wait on something outside yourself or your environment to make you feel complete or happy: Again I am sure that some of you have heard this before. But we need to recognise the truth of it. I have lived in denial of this. When you look beyond where you currently are and think that things will get better when you leave where you currently are then you will always be miserable there. I have to find the good in and learn how to be content again where I am.
  3. Do not make excuses because they trip you up and keep you grounded in the same place: It is so easy to blame everything on others or circumstances. Do not make excuses take action and own up to your part in whatever has gone wrong.
  4. Big things happen from small moments and actions: I have to stop resting on great expectations with Bollywood productions. Just do the small things and let go of those big plans.
  5. You control the journey you will experience in life: It is so easy at times to blame others for where you are at a certain point in your life. “If you did not have to do this for her”, or “If you did not have to go there for him” are thoughts that can hide the fact that you made decisions whether based on desire or out of a sense of duty, fear or guilt. It does not matter, you chose to help, to give and to be where you now regret you have been, what you have done and how much of you and your resources you have given.
  6. Make things right as soon as possible whether or not the fault is yours: It is a lot harder said than done but having peace of mind demand this is done. So whether we want to or not peace comes from making peace.
  7. It’s not that you cannot find time to pursue your dreams, it is that you have not made time for them: I have wasted so much time doing truly meaningless things time I could have spent working on those things that aligned with my goals and vision for my life. I now have to work on being disciplined and pursue my dreams actively.
  8. Lack of fear and self-confidence stunts you, not what others say or do: At some point we have to decide to move forward in spite of it all even our own limited view of our abilities.
  9. Don’t wait on the approval of others: We often turn to friends and family to get validation or a word of advice about something important t o us. However, learn to be more confidence in your ability to make the right decision. I have realised also that what I want more than sound advice is to place the final decision on someone else. So now I need to practice making the decisions that need to be made without expecting others to tell me what I should do.
  10. Your ideas wont wait on you to manifest, when you put them off they eventually find another more capable source: With this I will be simple, your great idea is your great idea until someone else makes them come alive. Then they become a wish never fulfilled.
  11. No one is limited or needs more than who they are: It has become so easy to compare yourself with others, without even realising it. Then one day it all comes to a head and you realise you have been making a list of all your shortcomings and they now overwhelm you: “What have I done, achieved in this life so far? Nothing”.
  12. Self-help books do not produce change in your life, only your thoughts and actions can: I have read a couple of self-help books and while in the moment they were great they were not this miracle text that delivered on results the way I erroneously felt they would. I now realise that they can help toa degree but I have to do the work, show up and make the time to work on improving areas of my life that need the work.

I know that as with anything else truly being accountable is the best way to learn from those truths highlighted above. But in a world that seems to change so rapidly nowadays we need to stop and pay attention, then take action.

Shame of Pride

Shame of Pride

I hang my head in shame
a shame milady.
Beaten by the truth.
The deadlest of all sins.
Hubris leads me to my nemesis.

No it's not a good thing
I now fear looking within
my very soul is in the balance
waiting at the gallows.
I must pull it back
and cage this monster that sits atop my head.
Who is greater than God?
No man!
Today I will learn
that i am not.
To think otherwise
will set you down low.

Instead I must cling to my shipwrecked raft
 praying to be saved.
I must be saved from drowining.
I have not choice
with Pride I carry the shame of Icarus.

Boomerang Effect

I know sometimes we feel justified about feeling a certain way or reacting a certain way to someone or certain persons, but I have learned through hard lessons the importance of being restraint in how we react to things. We may feel it is necessary to call out someone on something they have said or done but in the long run we may be setting ourselves up for failure, if we try to police others while leaving our own vulnerabilities exposed for lurking vultures to pick at.

Now, I am not saying that is wrong to voice your displeasure about something. Before we do so however, we have to understand the place from which we are speaking from. We also have to think, really think if the perceived issue is based on our own shortsightedness and biases rather than a real genuine concern that by voicing, will lead to a productive outcome. We may feel justified in the moment when we put someone on the spot for what we see as a wrong done to us or others, but are we being disingenuous? Is it about shaming that person into submissiveness based on our position or is it about having a healthy discussion about what we can do to make something better.

Sometimes the wisest course is to mind our own business, if something we see and find displeasure in harms no one but our egos. There is nothing wrong nowadays in following the adage of “live and let live”. Yes, we have our own agenda’s our own perspectives on things but we have to consider if sometimes when we try to correct someone we are not actually trying to foist our agenda on them, because their perspectives do not align with ours.

Life can be so tricky sometimes, because there are times when we feel we are in the right but end up in the doghouse. Often times it is how we choose to approach a matter by saying too much or by saying all the wrong things. Being on the defensive does not guarantee success, instead from what I have experienced and observed, it can lead you in a trap which you will find difficult or impossible to get out of.

So, we need to be more careful and think about if our words or actions, or both, can lead to a boomerang effect, where in trying to be righteous and put others in their place we do not end up being checkmated when all we wanted to do was make a point that should never have been sharpened.

Some belief in karma others belief in fate, lady luck, kismet you name it, but our actions have consequences and this we must remember. The same energy you give out will be directed back at you. Therefore it is better to begin from a place of love, understanding and healthy dose of compassion, instead of one grounded in self-righteousness that makes you the “weak might” that ends up never being in the right when all is said and done.


I'm still tired from yesterday's tired. Today isn't looking so good, and  I've already used up tomorrow's tired. Somedays... | Work drama, Drama  ideas, Memes
Juliana Jenkins-Gaciarek

Yep this sums up exactly how I am feeling right now. When I get up in the morning and want to go immediately back to sleep. Then even worse, spending the entire day trying not to fall asleep, because if you do, you know you will spend the nigh tossing and turning and wondering and regretting. So for now I am tired of being tired, but what to do?

I have also been the one to find every reason why I am so tired. I self-diagnosed vitamin deficiency, boredom, stress, a lack of motivation to do anything productive and currently, chronic fatigue. The last one I had to look up, and I still am not sure how to explain it to myself much less someone else. However, I was told this about two years ago by my doctor at the time, so I guess I can still use it.

The point is, I am tired and I don’t know what to do about it. Maybe if I get out more – wait, okay let’s rethink that, or not. OR, let’s just give in and laze about all day everyday, until another sensation stings me and I am surprised into wakefulness. Let’s hope. Maybe if I think about the consequence of being this tired, it will act like cold water and shake me out of my stupor…….no nothing.

Oh well, so I guess I will have to take each day as it comes, until something excites me enough to get my blood pumping my heart racing and my eyes wide open.

Best 30+ Tired fun on 9GAG

Who Can We Trust?

It is increasingly difficult to answer this question. However, trusting anyone is a risk you will have to take. If you want to form strong and lasting relationships, you have to trust everyone.

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No two persons are the same and everyone carries around ideas of what is best for them. Therefore, we cannot think that at all times we can rely on everyone.

I was briefly apart of a discussion about two recent incidents recently, one a murder suicide and the other a murder of a woman. In both instances the men were the perpetrators. In the discussion the question of whether or not you can really know someone came up. Can you really vouch for everyone you trust and do you really know everything about them?

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At the end of the day we each have to decide who to trust: just make sure that you are trusting the right person with the right thing and for the right reasons.

I think the greater question too is, what can you trust people with. There are many different things that we value, can we trust everyone with them?

While we cannot trust everyone with everything, we can choose who we trust with what. You need to know enough about someone to determine what you can trust them with. If someone threatens you or abuses you, can you trust with your life? If someone is careless with their possessions, can you trust them with your own? If someone never or hardly ever make time for you until they want something, can you trust them with your friendship? If you try to speak everything into being but never act, can you trust yourself with your dreams?

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Filling Life With What is Important.

To make life simpler, how about we keep only the important things. I know I have often found myself with lots of stuff that I really do not need and so treat poorly. Yes, at times we want to be accessible to everyone and we may feel that if we don’t get something now, someone else will snatch them up. Well, let them if you don’t really need them.

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Some Important Stuff…

There are persons who you need in your life. Keep those who think and speak positive, not just about you but about others as well. Persons who always see the bright side, so, their optimism can rub off or shame you out of your existential dread. Those who will not accept being negative in any way and not support it.

Do what makes you happy, being mindful of how it will impact others. Ensure that there are things you do because you want to do them and not because you feel you have to. If you wake up one day and want to relax, relax. If you feel like doing something that no one else wants to do, do it by yourself. Also, and one that can be hard to do, if you want to go somewhere but no one else wants to go with you, become a solo traveler.

Develop on what you have. Do you remember the parable of the talents? Make sure you develop on what you have been gifted by God. Use it to make the space you occupy that much better. By focusing on all the things you can do and do well, you won’t have time to compare yourself to others.

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Know that everything you achieve, in spite of your mistakes are because you are good enough. It’s easy in the age of stiff competition to lose sight of your true worth and so, it is important to remind yourself of your worthiness. We may be disappointed from time to time with the things we do but they should not be our beating stick forever. Just do the best you can.

Do what makes you happy, no matter what anyone may say or think. Happiness is vital for instilling a sense of well-being and meaning in life. Being happy can affect your mental health, your physical and spiritual sense of well-being. Therefore we should protect it at all cost. Even if it means staying away from things and people that compromise it. Consider that discontent and unhappiness can lead to conflicts and even war! So find a way to make what gives you happiness a part of your daily life.

We don’t need everything, we just need the things that matter.

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