We Must Mourn

We Must Mourn

We who have suffered
a great great lot
For we must mourn.

We who have lost our innocence 
because hate was stronger than love
war brought more pleasure than war
and because
lives became a commodity, 
so we must mourn.

We must hold hands
lay down selfish plans
gather the ashes of
burnt dreams
stunted growth
and the souls of loved ones
and mourn

For all those lost
we must - 
call their names
pure our voices
pour our love
as libations
to show we are still humans
and we must mourn.

We must mourn
and then when we are done
we must get up
hands clasped tightly, 
and fight.

Seeing the Light

It feels sometimes like life is one long sentence that seems to carry no full stop.
You then begin to wonder
at the wisdom of some of your choices
just when you're ready to stop,
you hear a voice telling you,
you're approaching the light.

Nothing is forever.

IS this a positive or negative?
Change is good whether you get what you wanted or not.
It's good to approach your challenges with the knowledge that
change is just around the corner.
This change that will ultimately lead to where you want to go.

Now should we wait to reach the light
To live?
The light is ready to be lit no matter the situation.
A smile to block out the pain,
a word of kindness to erase a wound
thoughtfulness and love to cure all incurables.
These are all
perfect ingredients to see the light,
to be in the light.

When you decide not to hold on for dear life,
maybe then you can live life until you can't.
It never pays to stop
to wonder what road will lead to success,
that vision has been
Better to be led by the light.
Close your eyes,
see and trust what you cannot see
with your eyes wide opened.

The less you know of those dark places,
the more likely it is to feel
the power of the sunshine
the wonder of the moon light.
To never wonder at miracles
likely to happen when you stop
looking for all that is wrong and celebrate
that one good thing.

Just think,

this life will never be yours again.
This smile last for only a while,
these hands can only flow for a moment.

Stand straighter
step strong,
move with fluid movements.
celebrate this one good life.

Feel the wind
lift you higher
and no matter what,
don't look down.

Your destiny does not lie in looking down
but flying higher and higher.
No one said the flight would be smooth.
Ride the wave
of the turbulence
laugh in the face
of storms past,
and those to come.

Allow the wonder of finally seeing the light to be
the eighth wonder of the world.

Better yet make it the only wonder that counts.

It is hard to begin,
but once you have started to see,
you can glimpse the beauty that was already there.
When you have lost much,
put the brightest and loudest colors on what you have left.

Those are what matter.

When you finally rest in the light,
you made it.
Finally, you have seen the light.
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Even The Least.

If there should be a poor man among your relatives in one of the cities of the land that the Lord your God is about to give you, don’t be hard-hearted or tight-fisted toward your poor relative. Instead, be sure to open your hand to him and lend him enough to lessen his need.

 Deuteronomy 15:7-8

Today in the bus going home, a person with a disability stood up and asked for some money, ” even $10 or $20″. Now in usual fashion you had some who gave and some who did not – FYI most did not. Now if we know anything, it is that some people are professional beggars, while secretly doing well for themselves. As a result of this of this, many of us have hardened our hearts to the seeming begging epidemic we see on the streets.

As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient.

Colossians 3:12

Now as he walked down the isle of the bus collecting from those who were willing to give, I thought, ” well I am not gonna be fooled by him!” So I sat there ready not to give, when my conscience attacked me. This attack let me to relent and give him something, but not too much. So I took out a twenty dollar coin to give him. it was the best of both worlds, I was giving him the the higher of what he asked for so no one could say I was not generous. However, while I waited for him to pass by a thought came to interrupt my philanthropic act.

Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate.

 1 Timothy 6:17-18

I suddenly remembered making the promise that I would not give a person who is able bodied my hard earned money, only a person with a disability. However, now that I had the opportunity, I was finding reasons why I should not give. I started to feel uncomfortable, then I realized that I had only made the promise to restrict who to give because I did not want to give at all, and I felt ashamed. When did giving become such a challenge? Or better yet, when did giving to those who needed it the most become such a challenge. We freely give our time and resources to people who do not need them, and when we see someone who really does need them, we are reluctant: ” what if they are playing a trick and don’t really need it?” On the other hand, we give it to people who are doing well, going places and who have potential, but we find it harder to give just to give, with no strings, conditions, or because. Oh, we give to a friend in need, but a person we don’t know who is down to their last dollar cannot be trusted, we don’t know them. Yet the truth is it is often the persons who have the most access to our resources who can do the most damage and not that random person we give a small change to, once and never again.

I have noticed that at times, people are more willing to give a little more to those who seem to be succeeding. We build them and forget about those who have nothing to offer but need so much more. We know that they exist but we do not often see their worth. We do not realize that we have been conditioned to size up a persons worth to us long before we know or understand their story. Sometimes we don’t care. We are too busy protecting the “little” resources we have to care.

So, as I waited for his return I realized that if I am going to be true to my word I have to give willingly. We all need to give willingly especially those we consciously or subconsciously consider the least among us, when they ask us for help.

Give to everyone who asks you for something. Don’t turn anyone away who wants to borrow something from you

St. Matthew 5:42
Image result for If there should be a poor man among your relatives in one of the cities of the land that the Lord your God is about to give you, don’t be hard-hearted or tight-fisted toward your poor relative. Instead, be sure to open your hand to him and lend him enough to lessen his need.


what does it even mean?
Is it being caught in that in between?
A place that tells you have arrive
when you had not taken the bus to get there?
I am destined to be great?
Who says?
If i reach high enough and hold on long enough
it will find me?
So I must wait
or I should go?
Tell how do I find it?
Can I find it?
Will it wait for me?
Will it wait until I have made many messes
then clean up
or try to?
DO I have to find the answers first?
Do i have to unlock secrets I don't know

Can you Please answer me.

How Long, far, deep and wide?
How much of me do I need to cut
piece by piece?
If you don't have the answers, who does?
Who can tell me what is real?
Are my dreams real and my life a nightmare
made to look normal?
Have been in a haunted house all this time!
Do I need to gather weapons to myself
to save myself
from myself?

Where do I turn
what will I do
tied up by my own tongue?
Can i voice my displeasure when
I am trapped behind these bars
that chew and cut and demolish

I am waiting.
Woman Standing on Hill Near the Sea Graphic Wallpaper

That Wall.

Child it’s time to break the shell

Life’s gonna hurt but it’s meant to be felt

You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself

You cannot fly until you break the shell

India. Arie, Break the Shell

India. Arie, in speaking about her song, Break the Shell, indicates a time when she was “fighting to grow”, a process she found to be “dehumanizing”.

Many of us have walls that we need to scale but we find it scary to make that first move. We find it difficult to make a plan to get over those walls, much less to tackle it. Instead, what happens is that we spend too much time dreaming instead of planning an escape. Before we know it, it has gotten impossible to make a move towards them.

But the people who live there are strong, and the cities have walls and are very large. We felt as small as grasshoppers, and that’s how we must have looked to them.

Numbers 13: 28, 33

We become like the men who Moses sent to spy in Canaan; we allow ourselves to become so small that we make the wall more powerful than it ever had a right to be. We also make ourselves too small and too insignificant in the eyes of those who guard those walls and keep us trapped within.We begin to see ourselves through the eyes of others and belief that their view of us is the only image that matters. We begin to wonder if we can grow tall enough and strong enough to conquer them and then we begin to lie to ourselves, rather than test our faith, by putting our trust in the will of the Creator for us.

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That wall we build to keep everything out, the good and the bad. When we think it’s safer to keep in and keep everything out, even the things we are meant to keep. That wall we nurture, ignoring everyone that is on our team, only we did not know, because we built it to high to really see and know and grow. The wall we used to judge too harshly, can only be destroyed when we stop and accept people for who they are and not how we feel about them.

That wall can cause us to stop stretching to avoid the pain that comes with too much movement, and stop trying to escape the hurt that jumping and missing brings. So we forget that that wall was never that great in the first place, and never that strong to begin with, until we gave it the power to be so.

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What You Deserve.

deserve (transitive verb): to acquire or earn a rightful claim, by virtue of actions or qualities; to become entitled to or worthy of (reward or punishment, esteem or disesteem, position, designation, or any specified treatment).


“You deserve so much more”. A phrase I often heard but thought little about. That is until I heard it enough to question it’s relevance. By saying that someone deserves something does it make it true?

When we say we or others deserve more, what are we really saying? Are we saying that life has been so unfair because they are not getting the recognition, rewards or riches that they deserve? If so, what can be done about it? Some people die never getting what others think they deserve and some wait their whole lives, never to get that which they deserve.

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Some people have so much talent we are sick of them – in a good way. Yet those same people seem to always fall short of the recognition they deserve. Meanwhile you have Miss mediocrity and Mr Procrastination jiving along collecting that which seems to come with very little effort, or talent for that matter. We the observers to all this, are left confused and flabbergasted as this state of affairs, while we bitterly recite the soothing phrase, “you deserve so much more”. We cuddle and console until we are blue in the face but nothing changes. At least not for them!

So, does anyone deserve anything? I “stole” this question from psychologytoday.com. However, it is an important question. Does anyone deserve anything? Well according to them we feel we deserve something, because we feel it is our right to claim things as being meant for us. They say a lot in the article of deserving but the thing that stood out was to replace the idea of deserving with a needs-based perspective. Do we really need fame, respect, wealth and whatever else for whatever reason?

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No, you get what you think you deserve, is another train of thought. Here the premise is that the belief you have in your own “special-ness” will cause you to reap good rewards but bad ones if you don’t. Okay, so it is your mindset that is at fault as to whether or not you get what you deserve. Well, if you think this is the case then by all means, start changing your mindset and act like you deserve everything you desire and it will come to you. Visualize and act on the belief you have. If you do not, you will suffer from the imposter syndrome, never feeling good enough, even though you have all the potential and talent in the world.

Personally, I think there are things we all deserve, but will we get it is another matter? I do not believe we deserve an applause for doing the bare minimum, for showing up but not showing out. I also believe that you may look at someone and envision what they deserve but what do they envision for themselves? Do they feel they deserve what you think they deserve? Do they even care about what you are getting so worked up about, on their behalf? I feel we deserve to be happy, to do what we love doing, to get just rewards for work done and to be our authentic selves. You can’t tell someone what they deserve, they must know it for themselves. Why?

If others cannot know their true worth, how will they ever demand what they deserve? Then again how much of it is in our control?

Image result for But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me."

Are You Hot and Cold?

Is it really a bad thing to be hot and cold? No one can trust you; no one can read you. They expect you to be this way, and when you are not, then you are not real.

But consider, are we always consistent in how we behave or how we react to the same thing day in and day out? If you are congrats! However, there are many, many persons who can be accused of being inconsistent. Sometimes we fault people for being this way but, we also do it. We do it for many reasons and there are many reasons why we do it.

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If you are someone who can never make up your mind about important stuff, you are not alone. Does it mean you blow hot and cold? Most definitely you do. In a world where we are constantly fed misinformation and where people misrepresent themselves, it is impossible not to constantly be shifting positions and perspectives. It’s good to consider things and healthy to change your mind after further observation, or newly acquired experience.

We shouldn’t feel obligated to run with the same idea for the rest of our lives. As we grow and have more experience we change; not just physically but our beliefs change and our attitude changes toward people and things. Where we were satisfied being viewed a certain way yesterday, today we may feel that that is not how we want to be all our lives. Where we may have felt a certain way about doing something or had an idea of the way things should be, we may have changed without much effort at doing so.

Now, let’s not be a hypocrite. Let’s not think that it’s okay to say one thing when we belief another. But it’s not wrong to change your mind because you have more information to go on.

So, each day gear up and be ready to run hot and cold!

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