Together? Apart Together Apart Together... Nothing left to do it's all on you but will we stay true to the dream we both pursue? Apart there is no center where we can both enter on a common stage. On either side we stand with outstreched hands becoming an island that gets love from no one. Together can it be? can we build a bridge so he she thm and none can be we? Too late to be self-sufficent life proves our incompetence and laughs us into impotence. Apart? Together?
When I would hear about a tragedy happening to someone, whether I knew them or not, I would immediately say, “that is so terrible” and immediately think, “thank God it’s not me!” I was relieved I had been spared the suffering that person was enduring at that time and I prayed fervently to God that it would never be my experience. You see, I naively believed that I was more special than others in their darkest moments. Little did I know that it was just that my turn had not come yet, but it would.
Now I believe that when one of us suffers we all suffer. Since the pandemic, I have heard too much of death and loss, of sudden tragedies and life-threatening emergencies. Through them, I have come to be more compassionate. So now my first thought is not that I must be lucky, but what can I do, what can I say to lessen the blow for that person. How can I be of service to ease some of their anxieties and pain? How much bearable those moments of loss, suffering and pain would be if we realised the importance of really, sincerely and authentically supporting each other. I know there is a sense of peace and comfort with knowing that many are with you, praying for you that many support and will lift you if you should fall and fall hard. It is good to know and this brings peace of mind that money or any valuable possession can never replace. W need each other.
For me, this is a truth I can see more clearly at times like these when uncertainties seem ever more present than they were before. We need each other, not to be separated by perceived advantages that make some feel more valuable, more visible and less silenced. We need each other because our very survival depends on it. Without each other, each of us will get lost along the way until there is no one who can if you a hand. No one to cheer you on, loudly and passionately, to the finish line
It is easy to turn away from someone else’s pain and suffering if we want to do so. However, because there are many threads that connect us in some way or another, it is impossible to avoid. So instead of trying to avoid the impossible, why not see your humanity in them and support, encourage and uplift them to where they can be healed. So that when your time comes there will be someone or many someones there to advise you, help you to find and apply the antidote and help to nurse you back to health. When one suffers we all will suffer and when one is honoured we all must rejoice.
A disclaimer here, I am not big on beauty pageants. So when the Miss Universe and Miss World Competitions rolled around I did not even know.
When Miss South Africa won I was a bit surprised, I thought”oh that’s nice” and I kept it moving.
Then I was even more surprised on Saturday when I read that Miss Jamaica had won the Miss World competition – was it even on the telly? But as a Jamaican I was happy for her, her family and everyone who was happy for her. I was happy because everyone was happy -there was a lot of happy going around, another black beauty queen. For real, mmmm.
But Miss Nigeria man…
Now Miss Nigeria really got my attention. I mean she went all out with celebrating and she wasn’t the one with the crown! And I thought, “She is the mad friend I want”.
My aunt jokingly related that she thought Miss Nigeria had won because she seemed more excited than Miss Jamaica and when I saw it for myself I understood what she meant.
I also thought, here is someone you would be happy to have in your corner. You just needed one of her to be your cheerleader. We all could use a friend like that, but also we all need to strive to be a friend like that.
Be a friend who does not care about getting the applause or outshining those around her. A friend who is not afraid to big yuh up when she sees you need it. A friend who just needs you to just be you no matter what. A friend who celebrates with you, cries with you laughs and cuss every and anyone who tries to diss you. Be a friend who knows that when one of us wins, we all win.
It made me start to look at the kind of friend I have been so far and question how I can be better.
It doesn’t take much to show that you are genuine, just be a friend like Miss Nigeria. Be ready to go all out in your support if the occasion calls for it.