That Day S.G That day I woke up and the sun was shining and all was right with the world. It was an ordinary day just another day... That day I laughed ate and played just like any other day... Then my world stopped that day I was faced with death that day my world shifted off Centre and has never realigned... Now doom is everywhere Father time smiles no more and I can hear no longer my own childish laughter nor feel the beat of the wonder of young bloom. In my web of doubt I am caught and choke at my own uncertainties... That day not long ago when you left me you took a small bit of my soul...
At a time such as this many people search for relieve. A relieve from constant bad news, death, misery and the threats of things seen and unseen. There is no end to the quest for relieve. However, finding such relieve seems to be more impossible as each day goes by. No matter what you do or how good you think you are trouble finds you. Now, this trouble comes in many forms and you get overwhelmed and run scared.
In your flight maybe all reason escapes and you start making bad choices, you start doubting yourself, God and every single person you know.
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?
As you seek to outrun your thoughts, fears and bad choices you become lame and get slower and slower, until your feet give out and one day you and your burdens fall to the ground.
What to do then?
Stop running. Let us stop running. We can never out run the problems around us and the problems we have.
We need to stop and realize that everyone has problems, we all have burdens we carry, the only thing is that some may seem lighter than others. Is it possible to support each other, bear each other up? If there is a need we are more than capable of bearing each other up. If we can mange it, why have we abandoned the cause to simply be kind, spare a thought for someone else’s suffering and not just our own. Even if we get annoyed with others, we can’t take out our frustrations on them. We have to resist the urge to lash out, judge and condemn. We have to dig deep even while we carry our individual burdens to be fair to those around us.
Can it be done, knowing how we can be? It can be done, but it takes a constant struggle of doing what is required of us and not what we feel like doing just because.
The Cost of Loss The cost of loss each time is a little pound of flesh messy yes but cannot be helped because it is a price paid forward. Each tear you shed a shred of glass that makes a trench for the blood you sweat. With each small departure a little more of you goes. They say it be better to have loved and lost but what price must you pay. If that love should go you are bound to lose your way. And if you face constant loss what is the better then? pretty words are easy to write until you are challenged by them. Should I build myself an island and build a fortress for my heart? Should I abandon all hope to catch the love dart? If I fortify myself good enough can I save myself from harm from loss? When I think of how it eats at me how each one grieves me I cannot catch a breath. Yet there I go letting down my defenses So loss can breach my walls.
Missed Whether 6 or 88 There is no time or date when you will not be missed. "she lived a full life, why sad?" Yes, she did. But does it mean she will not be missed? Does it mean I still cannot hear her laugh remember her jokes keep her in my heart? Does it mean that a sudden memory does not attack knocking me down making my steps unsteady? She who remain larger than life her beauty and grace sets the pace I must walk. That her words do not light my path her voice a symphony of youth eternal immortalized by the memory of her handed down through time immemorial. "She lived a full life" But now she is gone She will rise no more in this earthly dawn. She will no longer play her parts No stops and starts with passion and fire. Now she is gone and will be missed. No, can I kiss her papery lips? She is gone. Allow me to mourn her loss - in my way - because she will be missed...
Maybe like me you can’t sleep at 11:30 in the night. You are right now wondering what to do about it. You have so many things going through your mind: Your mind cannot settle to enjoy the joys of peace. There are so many thinks that have gone wrong, are going wrong and could go wrong. But know at some point, if you want to sleep, if you want the peace you have to let it all go.
Staying up thinking of the worst case scenarios will change nothing. All you can do is live in the moment – and I mean truly live. Not sitting down waiting for the storm to pass, waiting to feel better. Not hoping you can solve the problems of the world – what a world it is. No, you have to let go of the the living nightmare you have inserted yourself in, walk away from self-destructive thoughts, actions or inactions. You have to let go and hold on to the sanity of calmness and fight against self doubt. By admitting that your do not need to be all, have all and know all you find your power. It takes real power of the mind and of the spirit and soul to let go and let things be, including you.
Things and people pass away, whether you are wake or asleep time marches on, people come and go and things change, even in a moment. So let go and do not cling to things that only harm you. Let go and do not make yourself a martyr or a bundle of pulsating nerves to be pitied and spoken about. It is okay to keep going when others choose to stop or are forced to stop. It is okay to be happy even in hard times, to feel gratitude at your bounty in times of scarcity. Let go of the guilt that has cut you down next to nothing and made you frozen in the place you have stood for several years now.
Give yourself the permission to be happy even in grief, to be happy to be alive when death intrudes and reminds you of just how frail you are. Do not long for the acceptance of others or their directions to tell you how to feel, think and act. Be your own director and channel your power from God. Be mindful of your moments and seize them with glee and know when to stop and rest and wait. You know when to let go so listen to that voice inside that tells you to do so, and do not look back. Let go and let God and just rest.
Jealousy I feel rage. I feel fear. I feel humiliated! Like a tiger I will tear you apart. How could you? Why did you? Make me feel this way. All twisted, bent out of shape. Inflamed in my rage of inferiority I have been contained to burn slowly until nothing remains. Let me have this so I can destroy you and it. Let me tear off your image and use it as my mask. Let me wrap these tentacles around you bring you to your knees for I must feed on your soul attack you from within. You look at me and I know you cannot be trusted. Nothing said nothing done just a thought just so I do not know - but it must be so? I must protect and keep What is mine to keep. I must stop you from knocking me off my feet taking my shine. I must keep you in line! So I claw and squeeze until the blood overflows. For to do my business I must be heart - less. Like a living nightmare I remain close at heart.
Beware! A stab that went too deep A wound never healed. A thought that took life though born in the gutter. A look that could kill sprung to life through strife. A mind given to impressions warped, twisted, diseased. A word uttered without thought leaves chaos in its wake, destruction felt through the ages, sails torn, courses diverted forever. That decisive act borne of confidence shatters the timid, annihilates the unprepared. Beware! What you thought was carefully crafted falls down - dominos poorly stacked. The plans you fashioned on the backs of others spins, attacks and devours you. That victory today celebrated today tomorrow the foundation of your shipwreck. Beware of the tide and where it may lead, down highways and byways that bring you to your knees.