For no reason I started to get anxious about buying all I can. Even if I don’t need the things I try to buy.
But alas there is a reason.
It’s the Christmas season!
Since December rolled around I have thought of several things I could get – that I do not need – because the end of the year is approaching and everyone else is doing it – buying stuff I mean.
I look around and see people buying more, shops offering more and hearing the promise of more.
So I think I will hold off on buying things on a whim and only buy what I absolutely need; and that will last me too!
But then again, that too can be hard when it seems that everyone around you is going on a mad buying spree.
Here in Jamaican a lot of people clean vigorously, decorate obsessively and buy wantonly in preparation for the holiday. I have heard of persons who have gone to a Courts Store to take out:
Refrigerators
Stoves
Flat screen TV
component sets
Appliances
The works!
You name it they get it, not because they can afford it and sometimes not even with the intention of keeping it for long. But they do so because they want their house to look nice for the Christmas season.
Afterwards they will deal with the “starvation period of January” – but they want to have a nice Christmas, so to Courts, Singer, or wherever else they go! This is even if, everything they bought will have to be paid for in the coming months with blood sweat and tears. Hey, they either return them, have them taken or suffer through the repayment period.
So before I spend what I have, I’ll be sure to think about whether I am doing it for a real reason or if I’m following the hype of the Christmas season!
Have you ever told a friend, “wake me up when this is over”?
There are times when we just want to exit a difficult period and return when things get better. Unfortunately, life does not give us such gems. We can’t say wake me up when this is over, we have to deal with it sooner or later.
But sometimes we just need a moment to catch our breath and come again. It’s impossible to keep going when not stopping means your physical and mental health could suffer. Sometimes we have to turn our backs to everything and take some time to get ourselves together before we go again.
But remember you have to wake back up and finish what you started!
Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny
― Gandhi
I was recently watching a YouTube video in which Marisa Peer spoke on healing the body and mind, and it fit so nicely with this thought that came to me. Our thoughts are where it all begins; it is where we build or destroy ourselves.
When I was younger I would watch the program, Profile on every Sunday on the television. Each week I would feel intimidated by these seemingly outer worldly beings who overcame great adversities to be at the top of whatever profession they had pursued and I thought, “well, I’ll never be one of those persons” and so I would mentally roll my eyes, each Sunday while listening after a while – but still watch it – thinking that this show just makes ordinary people know that they are ordinary.
We are what we think and before we say whatever we say we think it. So if you think you will never do something, you never will.
From the video with Marisa Peer it all seemed so simply the idea of telling your mind what you want to do. However, if you have practiced negative thoughts all your life, it’s not going to be easy, but, it’s also not impossible. I developed a formula that did not worked for me over the years: in order not to be disappointed, never think positively. And guess what, I never was? This is not because I was always happily surprised by thinks working out, but 8 out of 10 times they did not and I would go, “oh there it is, I was right, life just keeps proving me right, life is so unfair, when will things go my way…” and on and on I would go, until I was paralyzingly depressed. It is obvious then that our thoughts have a lot of power and we can become so use to having certain thoughts, that we do not realize the damage we are doing to ourselves.
In reading up on this, one of the things I constantly see is the idea that we create our reality. Whatever we think really does come true. Because of this we go around feeling like we have second sight, when really we have made those things a reality. We make them real not just by thought but actions that go along along with those thoughts. So, you think you are lacking in some way, and you begin to act as if you are and people label you base on how you act and begin to treat you that way, and you see this as evidence that you really are this way. But it all comes back to you and not those persons, they are just following your lead. You are telling them how you want to be seen and treated – it really has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you!
For several years I have suffered with some pretty scary panic attacks, which took me to the hospital twice, once I stayed overnight. At one point I drank almost half a bottle of vodka and took a couple of antidepressant tablets because I wanted to die. Luckily it did not work – and none of the persons I live and who live me knows about that so I hope they don’t read this. But, at the time my thought was, ” I can’t even do that right, might as well carry on” and I did. I am still here and I haven’t had a serious panic attack in two years. It’s not because I am “cured”, it’s because I keep telling myself that I want to live and I have so much to look forward to; and, I do!
Where a thought goes energy goes and healing goes…
Marisa Peer
God gave us the ability to use our minds to accomplish great things, why wouldn’t we fill it with positive thoughts? Our thoughts are more powerful and so we need to be conscious of how we are using them. If you want something to change in your life you first need to assess your thoughts to determine how well they are aligned with your purpose and what you want to make a reality. Your thoughts can mean the difference between life and death.
Your personal thoughts carry so much power. It’s important to be mindful of what you spend your time thinking about. Make sure that your thoughts aren’t defeating you or your purpose in life. Fear, doubt, and a negative attitude will continually hold you back. Your journey may be a bumpy one, but I encourage you to never give up! Giving up only does one thing: It keeps you from ever knowing what could have been. Don’t allow your uncertain attitude to be the reason why you don’t succeed. It’s a very sad thing to live your life with regrets. So therefore, giving up is NOT an option for you. Don’t even entertain those thoughts. KEEP MOVING FORWARD, no matter what!
I have decided that I will no longer be telling anyone what I want to achieve or plan on doing – yet here I am telling you that I will stop doing what I am currently doing- telling you what I’m not suppose to tell you I am going to do.
Here goes.
I have, in the past told others what I planned to do and guess what? Half or more have still not been achieved. Telling them did not motivate me to accomplish them, in fact I stressed myself out so much about completely everything within a certain deadline that nothing got done!
It became – and still is- irritating when they continually asked, ” aren’t you done yet, ” with this or that, as if I had invited them along for the ride.
But wait! I did invite them.
By telling them about my plans, I now realized I made them a part of it. I did give them permission to butt in and ask me questions about the things I said I would do. Whether out of curiosity, or genuine concern, for better or worst, I had made them a part of that journey.
Well no more, it’s too much pressure!
So moving forward I will be travelling solo, and information will be shared on a NEED to know basis.
When I feel I absolutely have to share something, I will write it down in a journal. Yes, journaling will be my way of getting everything out that’s about to burst out of me.
MY NEW REALITY
The truth is telling everyone what you plan to do or want to do is taking time away from actually getting things done. Plus, it is somewhat narcissistic! Whether or not people know what you are doing does not diminish its value.
There are people who feel the need to do so for what ever reason, but their reason does not have to be my reason or your reason or anyone else’s reason!
I am going to be like a caterpillar that cocoons itself until I am ready to transform and take flight. It doesn’t matter who sees or knows because I will.
It’s time for me and everyone who does this, to stop telling people what we want to do and let the results speak for themselves.
Today is the first day of the last year! And I know many of us are looking forward to this end. It’s time to get ready to end the year with a bang – and it takes all 31 days people.
For many 2019 has been good and bad in many many ways. There are some who will say that in all honesty, it has been a difficult year in many ways. I’m not saying that it was all bad, but, when you put it all together it has been a year filled with many challenges.
So we – maybe out of desperate optimism – believe that because it is nearing the end of the year, come 2020 all our struggles will disappear, like magic. We believe that awesome things MUST replace all the difficulties that we have experienced. Well I bet you felt that way at the end of 2018.
2019 is gonna be the best year ever! Until it wasn’t.
Sorry I hate to break this to you – well not really – live doesn’t work like that. Things don’t change because it’s a new day, month or year. The baggage that we carried throughout the year, can still weigh us down next year.
If we want to get rid of some of the things that we know we don’t need to carry, we should do exactly that; get rid of it. While you get distracted by the revelry, and good cheer of the season remember to keep in mind the need to start working on improving things in 2020 – if you have not done so yet. While it is the beginning of the end for 2019, make sure you’re getting ready to face 2020.
And finally, remember that advent begins today and ends on Christmas Eve; use these four weeks to focus on what will help keep you grounded in the coming year: faithfulness(peace), hope, joy and love!
Many will say that Boxer in, Animal Farm by George Orwell, has many admirable qualities that we aspire to have. He is loyal, kind-hearted, hard-working and always willing to go above and beyond the call of duty – an enigma for too many of us. It is also important to mention that the story also acts as a political allegory about revolution and power and those impacted by such events. Specifically, it’s an allegory of the Russian Revolution from 1917-1923. This revolution has been described as a violent one (Bloody Sunday Massacre of 1905), which saw the end of imperial rule and the beginning of Communist rule and the formation of the soviet union.
What starts off in Animal Farm as a successful uprising and promise of a better future losses momentum with the replacement of the old, (Old Major), with the new (Napoleon and his minions). Things quickly go sour as the pigs, in a position of power, manipulate the legacy of Old Major (Animalism), to control the other animals, while solidifying their power and wealth.
And this is where we bring in Boxer…
I was talking to a friend of mine about working hard at whatever we do, and he mentioned Boxer; ” yuh remember what happened to Boxer, from Animal Farm? Dem tun him inna glue!”
Yes Boxer played a vital role in the development of the farm in its new era. His indomitable spirit inspired the other animals when their fortunes changed and he worked relentlessly for the good of the farm. But at what cost?
Instead of receiving trophies, incentives and other accolades for his effort, and retiring in bliss, he is sold off to be made into glue when he is of no more use! His worth? Whiskey for Napoleon and the other pigs! All that he receives is the title of hard worker, “he was a true hard worker”. He was loyal to a fault and though he was the strongest animal on the farm, he used his strength to serve those who exploited him and not to improve the conditions of the other animals facing the same exploitation. The worse part was that when something went wrong he always blamed himself and vowed to work harder. He had become too use to taking orders, to trying to get things right and always being obedient and never disobedient.
Sometimes we think we are acting independently and never realize that we have been programmed to follow a path created for us; the mind has been programmed.
So, the lasting image of Boxer is his effort to make the mill:
To see him toiling up the slope inch by inch, his breath coming fast, the tips of his hoofs clawing at the ground, and his great sides matted with sweat, filled everyone with admiration…
Then again, it could be for me the most tragic scene in the book. This is when Boxer taken away to be slaughtered; for Boxer it is the last time we will see or hear him…
…Although the animals warn him, it is too late. Boxer is already loaded into and locked in the truck for the glue factory. His strength is compromised by his failing health. His desperation is apparent by the sound of “tremendous drumming of hoofs inside the van, but he is too weak to break free.
There are many lesson here:
Be careful who you trust they may take advantage of you!
Never follow anyone blindly, even your friends.
Even the best of us can be controlled and manipulated if we let it happen to us.
Know your worth and never compromise.
Make your own path and lead the way.
Make your dreams a reality and don’t die on someone else’s
Be the best you can be but never be someone’s ladder.
Know and embrace your limitations and never see them as a negative but as a reminder that you will never be unemployed because you’re always working on yourself!
And many more if we think hard enough.
I read Animal Farm when I was fourteen years old and I was so inspired by the revolution carried by the animals, brought to tears by the sacrifice and ill-treatment of Boxer and the other animals. Saddened by the anti-climatic nature of the revolution’s aftermath, especially after Old Major’s death. Angered by the greedy, heartless and corrupt pigs – a suitable animal for such a role! And the really sad truth that there are people who lie, deceive and undermine those who for whatever reason find themselves at a disadvantage. Also, there are many who trust too much, give too much and receive very little or nothing in return, just like Boxer. Their lives become tragic.
Although Boxer had the ability to be an inspiring hero, in this story he is a tragic- hero figure; one to be pitied and pointed at,
“that is what not to do!”
Life teaches hard lessons, never be too gullible to learn them, and learn them well.
Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
― C.G. Jung
I don’t like when people are selfish but I have acted selfishly. I can’t tolerate hypocrites, but I cringe when I realize that I have said something hypocritical. Being self-aware, what does this mean?
Before I decided to look more on this, I did not know there was a self-awareness theory – there seems to be one for every thing under the sun. Well, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, a very basic definition involves, knowing and understanding yourself very well. However, in Social Psychology, self-awareness is when: “people can think, act and experience and when they can think about what they are thinking, doing and experiencing” (Encyclopedia.com). For Shelly Duval and Robert Wicklunds their theory of self-awareness focuses on how the self can lead to self-evaluation , using as their measuring stick, “standards of correctness that specify how the self ought to think, feel and behave” (Encyclopedia.com). Therefore, being self-aware is seen as crucial for ones sense of self-control. So, being self-aware is a ticket to controlling those things about yourself that you wish you could carve out and throw away forever.
But there is a crisis here, you can become too self-aware, according to the experts. It can make your impression of yourself become distorted – well you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But here is what I am interested in highlighting, we need to try and be aware of and be honest about our intentions when we do and say something. Instead of focusing on what others are doing and trying to come to a conclusion on people’s motives, we need to wisely use the time to assess ourselves. Yes the world is terrible, because there are some terrible people living here, but do we contribute to this terror without realizing it? Are we aware when we judge and condemn others while doing the same things, or do we really care?
Do we know how to navigate the public self-awareness that we have? When we change our behavior to suit others who are we really fooling, them or ourselves? When we become worried about things about ourselves we cannot change, all because we fear the impression we will leave others with, all because of a “preference” that we do not meet, we will suffer the most, them or us? When we change so much that it really makes sense to go with a whole new name, who becomes the victim? The ones we try to please? I don’t think so.
Sometimes in order not to become the things we speak against, we have to look within and erase the trace matters that exist ready to take control of the me we need to be.
ramblrWrites.com 