Old things can be made new so think twice before you throw them away
While we may want to throw everything out with the new year coming in, let us not be too hasty.
There is this belief that we have that everything is suppose to magically change with the start of a new year. If we had a negative mindset we instantly develop a new more positive one. If we ate poorly the year before we just make the resolution and it will be a healthy year ahead.
All our problems will disappear and puff, we begin with a clean slate.
So we hastily try to get rid of everything , the good and the bad, they all must go!
Hmm, I have realized from experience that more thought, planning, action and discipline is required than we give.
While we need to get rid of the things that have held us back from reaching where we need to be, we need to make sure that we do not make the mistake of getting rid of something we may need later down the road.
Sometimes it take a while and some effort to recognize the beauty in what we have and to appreciate it fully.
In the act of being mindful, let us all be cautious and think carefully about what we are about to let go of.
Is there more value in keeping something, than letting it go?
If you have done or said something that you later regret well then we have all been there and done that.
Usually, when this happens the most powerful three letter words are, if I knew. Of course by then it is also too late.
We all experience regret but guess what, it is a negative emotion that we should not dwell on. We can become so consumed by the regrets that we have, that we do not recognize our blessings and worse, do not recognize or accept the opportunities to expand our horizon. We are so traumatized by the one incident that gave birth to a paralyzing sense of regret that become the great stone we cannot remove.
Our sense of regret, at something or somethings that happened in the past, may cause us to want to repent for the rest of our lives. Now that is a sorry state of affairs.
Sometimes when things happen we have to accept the role we played and if needed, make changes that show our growth.
We need to be at that point of no return when we no longer apologize for what we did in the past, because that is no longer who we are. The thing is, we cannot freeze the past and fix it and the present cannot influence the past. All we can do is continue to life the live we have been given, the best we know how at the stage we are at.
The point of no return can seem ominous based on the situation you are faced with. However, it can be the opportunity you need, that we need, to break free from the regrets of the pas,t to find, that being at this point can only make us stronger; it’s at this point that we either sink or swim.
The idiomatic phrase “outside looking in”, is how most of us feel from time to time. We look and see the best that everyone has to put forward of themselves and we feel like an alien.
Many people fear being labeled an outsider, but it has it’s benefits.
Opportunities come and go, people (friends, family members strangers), seem to take advantage of them while you remain just beyond their reach.
Being an outsider is just a way for recognizing your unique qualities; when you do not belong among the in-crowd it means you have something special to contribute. Once you are aware of what makes you an outsider, it is up to you to use it to make some changes that will benefit others.
When people point out things about you that to you are not unusual pay attention; you might discover how unusual and thereby how rare your abilities are. No one wants to have the same things presented to them 24/7. If you want to bring something new to the table but there is no seat available for you, just build your own; people will appreciate what you have to offer and join you there.
If you find it difficult to conform to what is expected and you have an idea how something can be improved, don’t wait on anyone to give you permission, create your own lane and make people take notice until they too can see the benefit of what you have to offer.
When you are outside the accepted line, people will leave you alone to do what you would have been distracted to do. So while they are busy trying to stay inside the line, you’re thinking of ways in which you can move it to be beneficial to more persons, including you.
Finally, as an outsider no one can define you, but you. Many may ask, who you are, what you are or what you stand for; you determine all of this and as a result earn the right to change when you see fit.
Being an outsider does not have to be lonely because you stand alone, it can be the opportunity you need to truly discover how limitless your world is for all the potential you have, waiting to be unleashed.
Out of all the definitions of the word habit, I like the one given by The Cambridge English Dictionary:
Something that you do often and regularly, sometimes without knowing that you are doing it.
So, in revealing our affinity for forming habits our speech becomes, “well I have always done things this way” or ” I have never considered that as a possibility”.
Our habitual thoughts and actions can prevent us from seeing beyond our present situation. Many of us defeat ourselves by thinking only within the box that we find ourselves and allow this narrowed thinking to be the only reality we can envision for our lives. In other words, we speak many thinks out of being, because we operate based on “proven” outcomes.
We speak about, “I can never be this way or do these things, because no one in my family has ever done so” and “I am afraid of what will happen if I try something; it may not work”. We also deny that we have the ability to make worthwhile contributions because we feel we do not have access to the resources needed. Such a mindset, at this moment, reminds me of the widow in the Bible and her offering (Matt 12:41-44).
The Widow’s Mite
Many think about the fact that she gave everything she had and so encourage you to give generously. However, from the story I recognize the value of starting with the little things that end up bring big blessings. It was not the amount that she gave it was her intent and a habit formed that compelled her to give the best of what she had. Her story has helped many to recognize that even the seemingly least that we have, has value and is worth the effort. By taking the time to make giving a part of her life she blessed the lives of everyone who reads her story, thousand of years later. Her mite – which today would be coins that many throw away, here in Jamaica I see many one dollar coins being thrown away or left in the supermarkets – over shadowed the wealth of those who gave to gain fame and recognition.
What does this have to do with habits?
If we develop positive habits, then like the widow we will be able to realize, not only our strengths but we will be able to positively impact many who will come after us. I do not believe that the act of giving was something she did that one time, but had become so much a part of her that she gave without being burdened by it, her faith was strong because she practiced being faithful. We can say we believe certain things but our actions will always expose whether this is so or not.
There are many books, articles and blogs that talk about developing better habits for whatever success you want to achieve. However, I believe if you do not recognize that the habits you have are bad and are holding you back, then you won’t seek these valuable insights. Worse still if you do come across them, you will ignore them because as far as you are concerned they were never meant for you.
Stop telling yourself that what you have is all you were meant to be. Stop doing the same things over and over, year after year and getting nowhere. Be a rebel, be different, think differently and be the change that you need.
I say this because I know it; your habits become your reality and will determine your future.
I have a friend who is experiencing a really challenging period just now. She has been referring to this as her valley season and I really wanted to address this.
I have often focused on getting up the mountain, but I have also recognized that once you get their invariably you may need to climb another. However, before you reach the mountain, you will need to be in the valley. I also believe that in order to get to the other mountains you have to go through the valleys in between . A climb begins on the flat and not at the top, so to conquer the various mountains waiting for us we have to accept that we have to go through the valley, which is difficult, dry and sometimes seemingly lonely – but only if we choose to go it alone.
Yea though I walk through the Valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil…
Psalm 23:4
One of things I really admire about my friend as she goes through this period is her faith. She jokes about it and laughs it off, but she never displays anger or frustration at what is happening. Instead she has faith that God will sustain her and strengthen her in this challenging season.
I remember that I was less optimistic in most of my valley experiences. I cried, I complained, I made bargains with God and threatened to give up. However, I was still hopeful, I still wanted to believe that God would pity me and help me. And I always came through those periods grateful. I survived all of them. Despite all my hysterics, God had seen me through.
In those difficult times I sometimes would think about the experiences of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and the fact that they stood in the midst fiery furnace and triumphed. It is the reminder that we can conquer anything if our faith is strong and we remain true to who we are. Though they were condemned, they refused to compromise their beliefs and refused to change for anyone. When we experience our valley season we need to do the same. Being in the valley is a temporary situation, one from which we can gather much wisdom and come out on the other side, having learned a little more of how powerful we are with God’s support.
If we refuse to bow to the oppressive nature of our valley experience then we will indeed be victorious.
So the valley can teach us a lot. Maybe we need to look at it differently; it is not a place where we go to die but a place to realize how alive we are and how much we have to live for. It can teach us how to value what we have for the time we have it. Also, sometimes we are allowed to be in the valley because God is waiting to give us the best of what he has in store for us. We first have to prove that we are ready for it.
It takes courage to be in the valley; it takes faith, humility and wisdom to make your way out.
for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Don’t live the same day over and over again and call that a life. Life is about evolving mentally, spiritually, and emotionally
― Germany Kent
It’s Friday December 13th
Where did the time go?
While many are focused on the many superstition surrounding today, I would like to remind myself that December is getting old, fast.
Just yesterday – it seems – we were welcoming December, now it’s a teenager!
But we are steadily moving along to the end of the year and many persons are looking forward to all the parties they will attend or trips they will be taking.
But we still have to remember that next year is approaching fast and whether or not we are prepared, it will be coming.
In the middle of all the festivities and all the celebration keep in mind the need to have a plan for the coming year. It’s easy to lose focus because there are so many distractions, but in losing focus you could miss a great opportunity.
Maybe like many of us you are at the point where you just want to make it to the new year. Well you will, just don’t stop now. You’re almost there
Have you ever said to yourself: if only I had the willpower I would be so awesome, or I would be unstoppable!
However, we deem ourselves to be a bit short on willpower and declare ourselves too lazy, unfit, not smart enough, strong enough, patient enough or generally good enough to make the sacrifices needed to get over the hump, to the other side.
The American Psychology Association notes a 2011 Stress in America Survey, where 27 percent of respondents identified a lack of willpower as a barrier to change.
I recently had a terrible time health-wise and I realized that it was because I had done everything in my power to sustain bad habits. I ate things that made me feel sick because I loved eating them and each time I told myself, this was the last time. Until the next time came around and the cycle was repeated.
The article from The American Psychology Association identified willpower as the, ability to resist short-term temptation in order to meet long term goals. But I am sure all of us at some point have given into the temptation to do something that ended up making our situation worse than what it should have been. So, where willpower is concerned we have failed from time to time. But failing to have the willpower to do or not do something should not be the thing that makes us failures.
While many persons fail to remain disciplined while working towards a goal, remain hopeful that they will get back on track and continue to move towards it. I certainly have learned from my recent experience and I am doing everything in my power to stay the course. The greatest motivation for me is the knowledge of knowing what I could lose and the reward waiting on the other side – making poor choices is no fun.
The there is also the case where things happen that can undermine your ‘iron clad willpower’. Our mood, belief, and expectations may change and therefore undermine or improve our willpower. Also, the people we hang around may determine how committed we remain to our goals. So, basically our ability to develop and maintain our willpower can be determined by outside influences that may or may not be within our control.
The important thing to remember, is that we all have free will and willpower comes from this. Once we have the will there really is a way. It is never impossible to achieve good things, first we must know what we want and next, be determined to get it. In other words, to get what we want and to get where we want to be will take willpower and a good dose of divine influence.
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