Goodbye Stress!

You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.

― Steve Maraboli

If you’ve recently looked in the mirror after one hard day and wondered when you got so old – but you’re not, you my friend may be stressed.

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Today, we use stress as if it is a badge of honor. We talk about being stressed day and night, as if it were a prize that we have to brag about.

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This leads to little things happening that add up to becoming BIG problems:

  1. We remember nothing from moment to moment
  2. It feels like your bodies are attacking itself – literally, every patch of skin bones and organs are at war with each other.
  3. you can’t eat or you eat too much.
  4. You can’t sleep or you sleep too much.
  5. You nightly dreams become hellish – a monster you can’t escape.
  6. You can’t decide whether to sit or stand, go or stay. It’s all a mystery!
  7. A small bitter little monster is knocking away all day at your head. Trying to tear it off your shoulders.
  8. You get angry and then don’t know why and frankly you just don’t care at this point.
  9. Absolutely nothing is worth smiling or laughing about!
  10. You have a constant river of sweat pouring down your body. Even when you know the temperature should not allow this!
  11. And nothing you do ever turns out right!

There are so many things that can go wrong because you are stressed. The greatest of them all is that it can kill you.

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So what are you going to do about it?

What you are not going to do is continue this way. Because if you do it could be that you really have developed a tolerance for being stressed, which is not good.

The road that seems the easiest is often the most dangerous and the familiar can be so deceptive that your demise creeps up before you can fight it off. To combat stress maybe we need to stop leaning on the wrong people (yes frenemies, they may seems a strange breed but they are a dangerous one!) Also, we need to go to bed and get some sleep (even though I should have been at mine an hour ago, we will get it right). Next, stop overthinking things and just go with the flow. Stop giving people your time, and don’t stretch yourself – who cares what they think. Only you know what you are going through. And finally, stop overlooking great opportunities that may seems difficult but which will bring the desired results. Give back the title and trophy that is stress and live your best life. Shalom!

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Letting Go

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

Isaiah 43:18

Don’t wait for a new week, a new day or the new year to start making changes. You know what you want and you know how to get it!

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There are a lot of things in the past that in the past I have been stuck on. Sometimes I look back and which I could go back to make some tweaks here and there. Perhaps prevent a certain meeting or totally erase another. If only I could.

But sadly there is nothing we can do about what we have already done. But wouldn’t life be easy in the present if we could?

We will never know because it is impossible. While we focus on the past, our present is passing. There it is waving at us. It looks sorry for us- as it should, what a waste of a present!

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Yes the present is a gift that will keep giving if we remain fully committed to it. Yet, many of us are careless with it and are either looking behind or ahead, but never living in the present.

We hurry to do everything and then wonder where the time went. We hope that one day we can get to live in the present. However it has been there all along, slipping between our fingers until very little is left to enjoy.

It’s important to remember what matters, let go of what is keeping you from holding to the present that you have for as long as you have it.

Image result for The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.

Growing Through It

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There are many ways in which we can take the things that happen to us. We can freak out, get mad or stay sad, forever. It’s easier to develop a particular attitude, depending on what we think mostly happens to us. So things are great, life is great! Then disaster strikes and life is so unfair and then it becomes real rough staying above water. When we face difficulties that seem like a great epic – when will it end – we often say we are going through something. When we use that phrase, going through, then what we are really saying is that we are, at that moment, experiencing something unpleasant or difficult. But we never consider how that phrase reveals our inability to see the value of the experience. We only know that things are not going the way we want them to go! We become so consumed by the present situation that we forget that this thing is only for a moment and like everything else, will eventually pass…

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our bodies are constantly in the river of change and transformation

Deepak Chopra

If we decide instead to grow through what we experience, then we go through the most difficult times stronger than we were before. We can come out on the other side better than we were.When we grow we magnify the potential locked within us and can not only tell the tale, but become an example to others that anything is possible, if we remain optimistic in the face of great adversities. We have to accept and allow the hard seasons in life to be our teacher; we can learn so much about ourselves, people and the things around us. So the next time you go through something, remember to practice your smile and laughter for the happiness to come.

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What A Way To live!

If you take yourself seriously you will be offended the rest of your life

Deepak Chopra

Imagine if you lived a life that was totally free from worry about what others think and say about you? What if we did not what for things or people to make us happy? What if we try to find our own joy?

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I say easier said than done!

When someone looks your way or seem to, you begin to wonder what they see when they look at you and then a full blown script has been written and performed in your brain because you just don’t know how to take being criticized. I can say that because sadly I have been doing a lot of this lately.

You are at the mercy of every stranger you meet on the street, if they say something nice you’re flattered for the rest of your life and if they say something nasty, you’re offended for the rest of your life.

Deepak Chopra
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Sadly again we become so fixated on getting approval from others that we deny that we are doing it when we do it! Many – not all- cannot relax in any situation because our sense of well being is too dependent on how people react to us. We depend on the approval of others like how a drug addict depends on drugs to get a high. If the reaction is good we are on cloud nine but if it’s bad we are hang out limbo, waiting to see if we can redeem ourselves in the eyes of those who just rejected us.

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So let us make a conscious effort not to take things so seriously, after all we are all playing with the hand that we were dealt. Many people dish out exactly what they see of themselves. So often it’s less about us and more about them. None of us are perfect, so really there is no perfect answer to any question or solution to a problem. Just do you, live your best life because there is nothing else you can do. Just put one foot forward and go about your day.

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Inner strength is an experience that leads to a sense of peace and having a sense of well-being. Being strong is hard especially when others do not expect you to be. We can easily allow situations to overwhelm us to the point where we cannot move forward, because we only can see the path we left behind. When we would rather stay in the happiness of the “good ol’ days”, then we can say forget being strong and just be complacent.

I have had to be strong many times. The first was when my mother left me behind and I, out of sheer terror ran behind her only to be beaten back to my new home. I had to learn to live without her. To only see her once per week and sometimes months in between. I felt like an orphan.

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I had to learn how to be strong when my grandmother, my second mother, died the day before my first exam, in the first year of university. When I had to attend her funeral I made sure to cry before and not during it. I had to be strong when I was told after the first year that since my grandmother’s death the little money available to me to go to school, had evaporated over night. I had to be strong, when Mondays to Fridays I went most days at school eating very little or nothing at all because I did not have enough for food and bus-fare. I had to be strong when all it seemed I was working for was not to leave university without a degree. I had to be strong working from 6:00 a.m to 7:30 p.m Mondays to Fridays each summer, after her death, so that I could have some money to go back to University, even with student loans. At least I had a way out.

And once I left I thought, ” well, I no longer have to struggle, once I get a job” – how Naive! I lost my strength many times since then and from most of life’s hard knocks I have not recovered. But I still have to be strong in order to get back to my true strength to meet my true true self again. So I can say hi, hello, how are you to the girl I once knew.

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You Have Permission

“Who gave fire permission to burn?”

― Marty Rubin

Have you ever found yourself in a corner because you had to make a decision and you are sweating like a pig because it felt like your enter existence depended on that decision? Having made that decision did you then regret it days, months or even years later? If you have and you now cannot trust yourself to make the right decisions, you are not alone. Making decisions are hard, especially when you feel it will impact your life forever. When we make missteps, we may feel so traumatized that we become paralyzed with fear, when we have to make much more profound choices in the future. But today we are giving ourselves all the permission we need.

We will give ourselves the permission to make the decisions that are right. By doing this we will also let go of our need to please, he, she and the old lady. Let’s empower ourselves by not allowing others to be our judge and executor, but, give ourselves the right to put our own stamp and seal of approval on our lives. So give your approval for when you will start doing what you love and no one can take the happiness that this will bring. And if you are doing something you love, it’s easier to give yourself permission to fail – and you will. But with failure comes the opportunity for growth and change. So, give yourself the permission to change any and everything about you when ever you have to. Because when you change you open yourself to having new experiences and going places you never imaged you would go. Bu,t make sure when you get there you also give yourself permission to just do nothing for a while before giving yourself the permission to take a stab at something new.

But most importantly, give yourself the permission to be happy by living the life you want and being the best you can be while doing so. Remember, nobody else will.

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