change your thinking – Page 3

Not There Yet!

For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God
Hebrews 3:4

So ehm, I have a confession…

I’m not perfect and that’s ok.

I realize that I have always lived my life with the erroneous assumption that I have to be perfect. I have to say and do the right things at the right time with the right people. And you know what I am tired. I’m tired because trying to be perfect is a lot of work that involves mental and physical contortions.

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I am tired of trying to be everything to everyone and never messing up for them to see. It’s kind of ironic that behind them I mess up all the time and I am still here. God has not struck me dead and neither has he brought down fire and brimstone upon my head.

Perfection is overrated really.

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I was listening to a sermon that spoke about living perfectly with our imperfections and being blessing. Based on an uncomfortably yet necessary situation I experienced the other day, I realize that I am a work in progress; and, as I work I will have to get rid of some things and people that are holding me back from following God’s blueprint for my life. So today I acknowledged and embrace all my imperfections as I use them as a measurement of how far I still have to go, and how far I have come. I also realize that I value the truth from myself and others above all else. But first, let’s be honest with ourselves. It maybe hard but we have to practice doing so. When we do so the truth we speak will be lasting.

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It’s hard not trying to fit in when you have developed a fear of belonging nowhere, when you have been told or given the impression all your life that you do not. If you feed off the negative then it becomes the only reality you are known for and that I do not want. We have to decide what we want to be and how we plan to get there. But in the middle of planning and plotting, we have to ensure that we put the Almighty at the center of all things; when we leave God behind things will fall apart. So, before we seek the advice or counsel of any man, woman or child, we need to check in with God.

I am realizing that it’s hard to be honest with yourself about your faults than it is to be honest with others about their imperfections. If we focus on the wrong things, then that is all we see, and we miss out on being apart of something great. We miss out on what we are meant to experience. So moving forward, honesty will be the key ingredient to any goal we hope to achieve. Using your voice is also one of the most powerful things anyone can do. If we realize that those around us influence us to use it in the wrong way – consciously and unconsciously -then we need to leave them at the next stop. As 2019 marks the end of a decade, Leave everything that needs to be left in 2019 and begin 2020 committed to focusing on restructuring for the 10 years ahead. The construction work is never done.

I have said before and I will say it again, this platform is geared towards help all those who need it and me. In the process of finding our real voice we will have to release idol worship , and embrace all that we are, the good the bad and the ugly.

But, for now I’m not there and I don’t know how or when I will get to where I should be . But I’m holding on tight trusting that God will get me there.

Your Habits.

Out of all the definitions of the word habit, I like the one given by The Cambridge English Dictionary:

Something that you do often and regularly, sometimes without knowing that you are doing it.

So, in revealing our affinity for forming habits our speech becomes, “well I have always done things this way” or ” I have never considered that as a possibility”.

Our habitual thoughts and actions can prevent us from seeing beyond our present situation. Many of us defeat ourselves by thinking only within the box that we find ourselves and allow this narrowed thinking to be the only reality we can envision for our lives. In other words, we speak many thinks out of being, because we operate based on “proven” outcomes.

We speak about, “I can never be this way or do these things, because no one in my family has ever done so” and “I am afraid of what will happen if I try something; it may not work”. We also deny that we have the ability to make worthwhile contributions because we feel we do not have access to the resources needed. Such a mindset, at this moment, reminds me of the widow in the Bible and her offering (Matt 12:41-44).

The Widow’s Mite

Many think about the fact that she gave everything she had and so encourage you to give generously. However, from the story I recognize the value of starting with the little things that end up bring big blessings. It was not the amount that she gave it was her intent and a habit formed that compelled her to give the best of what she had. Her story has helped many to recognize that even the seemingly least that we have, has value and is worth the effort. By taking the time to make giving a part of her life she blessed the lives of everyone who reads her story, thousand of years later. Her mite – which today would be coins that many throw away, here in Jamaica I see many one dollar coins being thrown away or left in the supermarkets – over shadowed the wealth of those who gave to gain fame and recognition.

What does this have to do with habits?

If we develop positive habits, then like the widow we will be able to realize, not only our strengths but we will be able to positively impact many who will come after us. I do not believe that the act of giving was something she did that one time, but had become so much a part of her that she gave without being burdened by it, her faith was strong because she practiced being faithful. We can say we believe certain things but our actions will always expose whether this is so or not.

There are many books, articles and blogs that talk about developing better habits for whatever success you want to achieve. However, I believe if you do not recognize that the habits you have are bad and are holding you back, then you won’t seek these valuable insights. Worse still if you do come across them, you will ignore them because as far as you are concerned they were never meant for you.

Stop telling yourself that what you have is all you were meant to be. Stop doing the same things over and over, year after year and getting nowhere. Be a rebel, be different, think differently and be the change that you need.

I say this because I know it; your habits become your reality and will determine your future.

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It All Begins With A Thought

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny
― Gandhi

I was recently watching a YouTube video in which Marisa Peer spoke on healing the body and mind, and it fit so nicely with this thought that came to me. Our thoughts are where it all begins; it is where we build or destroy ourselves.

When I was younger I would watch the program, Profile on every Sunday on the television. Each week I would feel intimidated by these seemingly outer worldly beings who overcame great adversities to be at the top of whatever profession they had pursued and I thought, “well, I’ll never be one of those persons” and so I would mentally roll my eyes, each Sunday while listening after a while – but still watch it – thinking that this show just makes ordinary people know that they are ordinary.

We are what we think and before we say whatever we say we think it. So if you think you will never do something, you never will.

From the video with Marisa Peer it all seemed so simply the idea of telling your mind what you want to do. However, if you have practiced negative thoughts all your life, it’s not going to be easy, but, it’s also not impossible. I developed a formula that did not worked for me over the years: in order not to be disappointed, never think positively. And guess what, I never was? This is not because I was always happily surprised by thinks working out, but 8 out of 10 times they did not and I would go, “oh there it is, I was right, life just keeps proving me right, life is so unfair, when will things go my way…” and on and on I would go, until I was paralyzingly depressed. It is obvious then that our thoughts have a lot of power and we can become so use to having certain thoughts, that we do not realize the damage we are doing to ourselves.

In reading up on this, one of the things I constantly see is the idea that we create our reality. Whatever we think really does come true. Because of this we go around feeling like we have second sight, when really we have made those things a reality. We make them real not just by thought but actions that go along along with those thoughts. So, you think you are lacking in some way, and you begin to act as if you are and people label you base on how you act and begin to treat you that way, and you see this as evidence that you really are this way. But it all comes back to you and not those persons, they are just following your lead. You are telling them how you want to be seen and treated – it really has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you!

For several years I have suffered with some pretty scary panic attacks, which took me to the hospital twice, once I stayed overnight. At one point I drank almost half a bottle of vodka and took a couple of antidepressant tablets because I wanted to die. Luckily it did not work – and none of the persons I live and who live me knows about that so I hope they don’t read this. But, at the time my thought was, ” I can’t even do that right, might as well carry on” and I did. I am still here and I haven’t had a serious panic attack in two years. It’s not because I am “cured”, it’s because I keep telling myself that I want to live and I have so much to look forward to; and, I do!

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Where a thought goes energy goes and healing goes…
Marisa Peer

God gave us the ability to use our minds to accomplish great things, why wouldn’t we fill it with positive thoughts? Our thoughts are more powerful and so we need to be conscious of how we are using them. If you want something to change in your life you first need to assess your thoughts to determine how well they are aligned with your purpose and what you want to make a reality. Your thoughts can mean the difference between life and death.

Your personal thoughts carry so much power. It’s important to be mindful of what you spend your time thinking about. Make sure that your thoughts aren’t defeating you or your purpose in life. Fear, doubt, and a negative attitude will continually hold you back. Your journey may be a bumpy one, but I encourage you to never give up! Giving up only does one thing: It keeps you from ever knowing what could have been. Don’t allow your uncertain attitude to be the reason why you don’t succeed. It’s a very sad thing to live your life with regrets. So therefore, giving up is NOT an option for you. Don’t even entertain those thoughts. KEEP MOVING FORWARD, no matter what!

Your Thinking is Poor.

When you focus on what you think you can’t do or be, then you will never be who you could have been. No matter what you do, you will remain poor.

Many of us have an escapist mindset. Every time something looks like it could be kinda hard, we say we can’t, we chip away at enriching our lives; we become poor in spirit and we clip our wings before we learn how to fly. We accept that we can’t and never try. We become the thing we most fear when we are eager to believe that we have limits.

Maybe your frustration and unhappiness has nothing to do with anyone but your mindset about what you can do and where you can go. The limits we place on ourselves are the ones that stick because we are doing a better joy at chaining ourselves to our circumstances, than anyone else could.

It’s easy to tell yourself that there many things you can’t do but remember that when we do this, we become uninspired to dream big and reach for all the possibilities available to us.

I too have to learn this lesson and so it is important to take some time to remind yourself of all the things you have done that say you could, can and will. It may be safer to remain in one place but we make ourselves easy targets for regrets and the very real crime of limiting ourselves. We need to put in the work to be more than a can’t. We need to allow ourselves to be limitless and free ourselves from our self-imposed prison.

No one ever got where they wanted to go by making their home at the bus stop. Maybe we need to get some words out of our vocabulary, and maybe, can’t is one of them. It’s never too late to start!

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