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Here’s To The Next 10 Years

Don’t change because a new year is coming up but change for your own personal growth no matter what resolutions you make, they start with you.
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Okay so suddenly I am into looking at life in terms of phases. Must be because I’m getting older, or something. This January the 4th like very January the 4th, whether or not I acknowledge it, I will be ONE YEAR OLDER. But that is not what I want to talk about. I don’t know when, but I now firmly realize that the end of 2019 means the end of a decade, and the start of a new one. Well that’s what I’ve been hearing.

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So, we will go along joyfully into the new decade, happy that we made it out alive of the last one. But many of us dread any more signs of the kind of dystopic world we seem to be descending into more and more, similar to dystopia in, Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler.

Instead, we hope to set and focus on personal goals and taking things a day at a time. So if you have not decided what this new page will look like, now is a good time as any to do so. Just consider that there are many, who do not have the prospect of thinking beyond today and so find it difficult to plan for tomorrow, much less 10 years! Also, while it’s a new year, old problems still exist. There are still thinks about ourselves that we need to work on and things we have to come to terms with.

However, many hope that they will be able to take on new challenges and make some positive changes, because nothing stays the same forever. Right?

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So…

Here is to being yourself more and more and being more concerned with what is happening around you than what is being done for you. We look forward to being happy and grateful about the things beyond our control. Let’s hope that when we are faced with changes, we roll with them and are not crushed by them. Here’s to not aiming for perfection in yourself and others but live and let live. Based on last year and previous years, we know that moving forward it will be another bumpy ride, because not only the date, but everything in your life could change in the blink of an eye.

With all that being said, there is one thing that is for certain, the new year brings abundant hope. May we not be fixed on our despair but on the possibilities moving forward.

Image result for May the blessings of God be upon us from the beginning of the year to its end

Don’t Pick A Side

I thought came to me recently. What would happen if in any situation I chose not to pick a side?

Would I be allowed to do this?

Everyone claims that there point is the right point and some go as far as to say that their point is the only point. So it does get confusing about who is right and how is wrong.

It can be exhausting to constantly be bombarded with the need to pick a side and it can lead to emotional burnout.

Therefore, I feel it’s not necessary to hate the one and love the other, to accept one and reject that which seems opposite to the one I just accepted.

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Instead of living in a black or white area, I think I prefer the gray area that could eventually lead to more colour and balance. Being in a seemingly fuzzy zone can be warm and comfy. Before anyone disagrees, no it is not a way of remaining indecisive, but I see it as way to co-exist with people who think and act differently from the way I do and being okay with them. Similar to how I can be interpreted as a person – in many different ways – I don’t have to hold fast to one tried and tested way of being.

So, for the purposes of retaining the little sanity I have left, I will not declare I side – if I can help it. I will begin to appreciate that life and people by extension, are filled with grey areas that makes life interesting.

Then again, I could be wrong; life is complicated and the grey zone I seek may be hard to live comfortably in.

Lazy Luck.

So is there every a time when being lazy is a good thing?

Well I think so!

Many people will be surprised to know that I can be super lazy. I was so lazy at one point that I did not bathe for one whole day!

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But I don’t think that is something I should put out there. Thank God my readership is small so I can get away with that. Whew!

So, one time I was invited to be a part of this scheme to sell coffee. It was some kind of super coffee, with tonnes of health benefits and I was gonna sell coffee and that would make me rich, rich I tell you!

Rolling in the dough, money money money!

Except, I didn’t have to sell the coffee all I had to do was buy it.

So, how was I gonna make money?

Well, when I went to the “meeting”, in this really poorly lit room at about seven or so in the evening, I learned, “hey, you don’t have to worry about how much coffee you sell, you just need to get more persons on board this scheme”.

So, all I had to do was recruit persons to buy coffee packages – a lot of it – that they were not expected to sell and I could make money off them, when they got more people on board. Now, my non-mathematically inclined brain went into overdrive and my very introverted spirit screamed a resounding, NO!

I would have to find people to get on board this very strange business of buying a coffee package for, I think it was $10,000, could be more, at the time so that they could drink all the products, because that is not where the money was, and seek human bodies to also buy coffee they were going to drink to get rich.

I smiled and drank and ate what they had, told them I would be at the next meeting and left. I went home, patted myself on the back for doing something outside my comfort level, consoled myself for being a fool but not that great a fool and never thought about that meeting nor the coffee again.

You know what really got me upset; initially, I was told about this wonderful product and opportunity I would be apart of and when I got there it was another story. The super coffee was not the focus, there was nothing about how to sell this amazing product nor this great company I was told I would be a part of. Plus, if this coffee was so great and life changing why didn’t I hear about it before. I felt like I had wasted my time at the end of that little “get together”.

More than a year later I saw the guy who had introduced me to the scheme and asked him how things were going. I thought he would tell me he was rich – it seemed he would do well in the scheme, he was so enthusiastic! Sadly he told me it didn’t work out, because he could not get enough person to sign up. You think! So, he lost that money he initially paid to get the package, had coffee that he did not need, and wasted time trying to find people to sign up to this thing.

However, he was pursuing this other venture that would definitely work out. I slowly but surely crept more and more out of his get- rich-obsessed gaze, I wished him well and went on my way. I have not seen him since.

I also learned later about ponzi schemes and that is what is was. All I know is this, that was not how I was gonna be rich! At the time, I thanked God I had more sense than I thought I did and jumped ship before it sailed. Also, thank God I was too broke and too lazy to shoot myself in the foot – I was already doing fine on my own in that department, without anyone else getting involved, thank you very much.

So I guess being lazy sometimes pay, just as how it can get you into stuff, it can also take you out of stuff incompatible to your purpose.

The Right Timing.

To be alive──is Power!
― Emily Dickinson

It’s not Paradise, It’s Life…

I recently went to Royalton Blue Waters, for three days and two night on an annual staff trip. I thought I would be writing about my time there: about the Calypso restaurant and the wonderful staff or the Zen a Japanese restaurant, where our meals were prepared before us, while we are entertained in song, sung by the chefs and encouraged to catch a choice piece of mouthwatering bite as it goes flying across the table.

I could have written about any number of things, about Polly the Rastafari craft vendor I met on the first day at the beach, who sold us bags and spoke about Inity and love; maybe next time I will. But on the second night, the group I was with and I met Michael Daley; and it is based on our conversation with him that I am writing this post.

We met and sat beside Mr. Daley and his family of seven at the Zen restaurant. We all sat to to have what had been sold to us as a once in a life time experience. So with great anticipation we sat to enjoy our meals. From time to time we exchanged smiles and laughter as we truly had a very unique dining experience. When the meal was over, most of those present had already left when we decided that maybe it was time to go, so that we could get out of the way of those who had a nine o’clock reservation.

It was as we were about to leave that Mr. Daley decided to engage us in a conversation that lasted almost an hour.

Gemstones From Mike

Mike, it turns out is a very resourceful and success driven man of God. His current venture, he informed us was the purchase of a piece of land in the same areas as the Natural water wonder, the Luminous Lagoon in Falmouth. However, in his sharing of this milestone, there was no conceit no attitude o, ” look at me I have done all of this”. He indicated that his purchase was based on a seven day period of fasting and praying to God for guidance. By the way he was also praying because he had no idea where the money was coming from to purchase the property!

Image result for luminous lagoon falmouth — Luminous Lagoon Falmouth

Apart from his very inspiring story of coming from Spanish Town – FYI, I am also a Spanishtonian (those born and raised in Spanish Town). He indicated the need to make God the head and not the tail of everything he did. He encouraged us to put God first in everything, seek His counsel and not anyone. Though advice from close friends and family maybe invaluable, they can also lead us away pursuing the things we ought to pursue or do. He also reminded us of something we know but sometimes forget,that is, to not settle for what we have if there is more we can achieve. We know when we have settled and we know why. Sometimes when we need it the most along comes a message to remind us that we are not where we need to be. We may have more growth to make and more things to do. For us also, we may find ourselves doing the same things and expecting a different result. Mike reminded us of the need to try new things and get out of our routine. There he was about to become a hotelier, something he has never been but a path he has committed to, as he embarks on this new journey.

Then, there was the last but certainly not least piece of gem , no matter what you do and what you achieve God always needs to get the glory. Sometimes we are so happy, so excited, so consumed by our own sense of importance that we forget about God’s part in what we achieved. However, we need to remember that our stories of success and what we have been able to do are all lies if God is not a part of the telling.

Point of No Return.

If you have done or said something that you later regret well then we have all been there and done that.

Usually, when this happens the most powerful three letter words are, if I knew. Of course by then it is also too late.

Image result for In everybody’s life there’s a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive

We all experience regret but guess what, it is a negative emotion that we should not dwell on. We can become so consumed by the regrets that we have, that we do not recognize our blessings and worse, do not recognize or accept the opportunities to expand our horizon. We are so traumatized by the one incident that gave birth to a paralyzing sense of regret that become the great stone we cannot remove.

Our sense of regret, at something or somethings that happened in the past, may cause us to want to repent for the rest of our lives. Now that is a sorry state of affairs.

Sometimes when things happen we have to accept the role we played and if needed, make changes that show our growth.

We need to be at that point of no return when we no longer apologize for what we did in the past, because that is no longer who we are. The thing is, we cannot freeze the past and fix it and the present cannot influence the past. All we can do is continue to life the live we have been given, the best we know how at the stage we are at.

The point of no return can seem ominous based on the situation you are faced with. However, it can be the opportunity you need, that we need, to break free from the regrets of the pas,t to find, that being at this point can only make us stronger; it’s at this point that we either sink or swim.

Outsider Triumph.

The idiomatic phrase “outside looking in”, is how most of us feel from time to time. We look and see the best that everyone has to put forward of themselves and we feel like an alien.

Many people fear being labeled an outsider, but it has it’s benefits.

Opportunities come and go, people (friends, family members strangers), seem to take advantage of them while you remain just beyond their reach.

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Being an outsider is just a way for recognizing your unique qualities; when you do not belong among the in-crowd it means you have something special to contribute. Once you are aware of what makes you an outsider, it is up to you to use it to make some changes that will benefit others.

When people point out things about you that to you are not unusual pay attention; you might discover how unusual and thereby how rare your abilities are. No one wants to have the same things presented to them 24/7. If you want to bring something new to the table but there is no seat available for you, just build your own; people will appreciate what you have to offer and join you there.

If you find it difficult to conform to what is expected and you have an idea how something can be improved, don’t wait on anyone to give you permission, create your own lane and make people take notice until they too can see the benefit of what you have to offer.

When you are outside the accepted line, people will leave you alone to do what you would have been distracted to do. So while they are busy trying to stay inside the line, you’re thinking of ways in which you can move it to be beneficial to more persons, including you.

Finally, as an outsider no one can define you, but you. Many may ask, who you are, what you are or what you stand for; you determine all of this and as a result earn the right to change when you see fit.

Being an outsider does not have to be lonely because you stand alone, it can be the opportunity you need to truly discover how limitless your world is for all the potential you have, waiting to be unleashed.

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Your Habits.

Out of all the definitions of the word habit, I like the one given by The Cambridge English Dictionary:

Something that you do often and regularly, sometimes without knowing that you are doing it.

So, in revealing our affinity for forming habits our speech becomes, “well I have always done things this way” or ” I have never considered that as a possibility”.

Our habitual thoughts and actions can prevent us from seeing beyond our present situation. Many of us defeat ourselves by thinking only within the box that we find ourselves and allow this narrowed thinking to be the only reality we can envision for our lives. In other words, we speak many thinks out of being, because we operate based on “proven” outcomes.

We speak about, “I can never be this way or do these things, because no one in my family has ever done so” and “I am afraid of what will happen if I try something; it may not work”. We also deny that we have the ability to make worthwhile contributions because we feel we do not have access to the resources needed. Such a mindset, at this moment, reminds me of the widow in the Bible and her offering (Matt 12:41-44).

The Widow’s Mite

Many think about the fact that she gave everything she had and so encourage you to give generously. However, from the story I recognize the value of starting with the little things that end up bring big blessings. It was not the amount that she gave it was her intent and a habit formed that compelled her to give the best of what she had. Her story has helped many to recognize that even the seemingly least that we have, has value and is worth the effort. By taking the time to make giving a part of her life she blessed the lives of everyone who reads her story, thousand of years later. Her mite – which today would be coins that many throw away, here in Jamaica I see many one dollar coins being thrown away or left in the supermarkets – over shadowed the wealth of those who gave to gain fame and recognition.

What does this have to do with habits?

If we develop positive habits, then like the widow we will be able to realize, not only our strengths but we will be able to positively impact many who will come after us. I do not believe that the act of giving was something she did that one time, but had become so much a part of her that she gave without being burdened by it, her faith was strong because she practiced being faithful. We can say we believe certain things but our actions will always expose whether this is so or not.

There are many books, articles and blogs that talk about developing better habits for whatever success you want to achieve. However, I believe if you do not recognize that the habits you have are bad and are holding you back, then you won’t seek these valuable insights. Worse still if you do come across them, you will ignore them because as far as you are concerned they were never meant for you.

Stop telling yourself that what you have is all you were meant to be. Stop doing the same things over and over, year after year and getting nowhere. Be a rebel, be different, think differently and be the change that you need.

I say this because I know it; your habits become your reality and will determine your future.

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