Sun Stroke

Sun Stroke

Welling up -
ready to overflow...
The first gentle stokes
leaves me quiverying
deep,deep inside.

Then a gentle breeze caresses it
cools me down
and sets me off my feet.
I revel 
in the embrace
of each golden ring
chosen to give
and not receive
by whose touch I can live.

A flamming torch lit to the heavens
what a lasting impression.
Never to be extinguished again.
As my eyes close from the pleasure 
and pain,
of the vermilion hue,
it reconstructs my view
that allows me now to pursue
the Joy from that first stroke.

Keeping Them at Bay

Keeping Them at Bay

I see their ghostly figures whirling at the gate
cunningly they await,
on their hook is the bait
of wallowing in deep despair. 

They taunt me continously
and I am drawn to them unwillingly
They shroud themselves in the imtimacy
of knowing my deepest
so they offer their blunt honesty
of doom.

But I must not let them in,
I must fortify the gate,
with love and hope and peace
I must withstand this siege
Their lies I must not believe.
I pull on all I have within
so that I can win this time.

It must be in God's great design

Remove that Dark Cloud

Change your position and remove that dark cloud hanging over you.

This is the message I got today and I want to share it. We are all guilty for, at one time or another, chasing something that is not for us and running from what is. Have you noticed how much trouble this brings? Well it does, we deceive ourselves by thinking the way we are going is the only way and we run away from the centre of who we are. We choose to ignore where we should go and do because, we don’t like it. We see everyone else moving in a wave and it looks cool and we want to be a part of it, but we are better off going the opposite way.

We entre relationships, hold on to them when they bring us more harm than good. Then, we wonder why nothing ever works out, why people leave and why we just seem to always in the wrong crowd. We pick at the tree that is not fruitful, a tree that is not flourishing and expect to be nourished. But the roots of that tree is rotting and because we are blind we cannot see, because we have lost our sense of smell we can smell the stench that warns of the dangers and damage that this rotting tree will bring.

When things are falling a part do we really need to go down with the ship? Of course not! We need to stop going, stop thinking that if we just carry on things will get better, that things will change. But we need to be humble enough to know when to let go, to admit that the decisions we made were mistake, to say sorry and get back on the path we should have stayed on, doing what we were meant to be doing. We need to wake up in those times and do something, not read self help books and internalize what we read, we need to always be willing to do the work that will remove the dark cloud over our heads.

We all are different, but we all can relate to having those clouds over us. We need to take the time to remove them to truly talk through them, so we can experience the brilliant light hiding behind them.

I Didn’t Need Eggs!

I recently completed something I have wanted to do for a long time, I did a Daniel fast and I was reflecting on what I had learned having done it.

One of the reasons that I did this was to get some answers to things that have been weighing heavily on my mind. So I embarked on this fast – ill-prepared I realised later – to seek God and His wisdom in order to have these things addressed. However, the first couple of days was a bit – how shall I put this mildly – hard beyond my wildest imagining. When I started I did not do so blindly, I did some research, bought some food stuff I read was specific to the fast. Good, check everything going well so far. Then I started reading more and realised that for everyone what you could eat during this period was different. So I thought I could fry food, then I realised I could not, I had peanut butter, then I learned no honey and honey was in the peanut butter, then I read no tea, not even herbal tea, so water only. Then when I was getting ready to cook, I read I could not use certain seasonings and I ended up using salt and pepper, and so it went. Therefore I realised that though you can eat on this fast, you had to be very careful that what you ate was acceptable, this was really an experience of limits and being disciplined.

So how did the eggs come in? Well on the Daniel fast you cannot eat eggs and you guessed it, I love egg! As a matter of fact I was shocked and apprehensive because I could not have eggs and I felt that I wouldn’t make it to the end of this fast because of this. I saw myself being weak and listless, having brain fog, not being able to exercise, nothing without my eggs. However, I decided to have this experience because I really wanted to start a new journey in my relationship with God. It was okay to cut down on social media and limiting interactions and reading the bible, but not enjoying the foods I use to enjoy was a struggle at first. I realised that food was a crutch: when I felt sad, bored, happy, angry, anxious you name it there were certain foods I would eat to match those feelings. However, on this fast I could not, I had to pray more and meditate more and really acknowledge how not just food, but others things in life, had become a crutch for me, unhealthy crutches. And having completed the fast, I know that like those eggs, there are things in life that I have been holding on to with a death grip that I really need to let go. I do not need them.

Photo by Polina Zimmerman on

During the fast I had never felt better, even though I did not have eggs to fuel me, to fill me and keep me going I felt BETTER. I did not feel worse or just as good, I felt better. I had more energy, no pain and I ate better. I did not miss my dear eggs in the least and now I really couldn’t care less about having them. More than just the eggs I realise that I have been making excuses in my attempt to hold on to things that really I would be better off letting go of. We all have things we need to let go of but just cannot or refuse to see it, because we have talked ourselves into believing that we need them. These things can be preventing us from experiencing something better. I now understand a little bit more that these crutches do not support but limit, making us fearful to try new things to be brave enough to leave them behind, while not knowing where we will end up. When we do this not only do we miss out on great life changing experiences but we also stunt our growth. Imagine that the thing I thought I would need the most became the thing I missed the least during this journey.

Sometimes we just need to let go and let God.

Protect Your Spirit.

I have felt that I need to be more actively involved in doing this; I need to protect my spirit from things that seek to destroy it. Therefore, I have felt this urge and kind of desperation, to protect my spirit from everything within my control and those outside my control, that may affect me negatively. This can be hard because, after all, we are only humans. However, we have the power of the Almighty at our disposal.

We all have so much to give but if we become blinded by doubts and fear we will never know this. Often times we find ourselves in situations that we never imagined we would be in or we begin to recognise ourselves less and less. We are not who we thought we were or who we were meant to be.

We have to be vigilant about what we allow in our space. Our thoughts and action will affect us if we give the wrong things full reign in our lives. We may recognise that there are things that make us sad depressed or feel out of sorts, but, we either feel we have to do them or we lack the control to stop. However, if there are things or people that bring little to the table and diminish our light, then we have to protect our spiritual being.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7)

We have to let them go. We have to let them go and never look back. Not because we no longer care about those people, or no longer see those things as desirable, but because we want not only to live but thrive. We want to thrive and be the best that we can be and that means seeing the danger beforehand and walking away from it.

We have to protect our fragile and wonderfully complex and flawed being. We have to protect our spirits from situations that may make us feel dirty or defeated, when we are neither. We have to know the enemy that seeks to destroy us never sleeps and therefore be prepared to withstand all attacks of the mind, spirit and body. It may be difficult for some or it may be easy. but it has to be done.

Now, the obvious question is how can you protect your spirit, your energy? Well there are many solutions out there but the main thing you will have to do is acknowledge those things that will bring you down. Write them down, so you can have a visual and remember them, know that they are always there, lurking and over time, take your time and move further and further away from them and move closer to the things that bring, light, love and peace. We need to draw closer to God and rely on the Holy Spirit for sustenance. That is how we can find peace, happiness and purpose.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)