Tag: Finding your happy place

Right Time!

“When the time is right, life will have a meaning.
When the time is right, world will be bright again.
When the time is right, things will fall into place.
Just remember, never regret.”

― Akash Lakhotia

Today I woke up late. But I was not late.

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I woke up- God forbid- over an hour late and this is unheard of! But today I woke up not when the alarmed at 4 a.am. but when a voice smugly asked if the alarmed had gone over an hour ago. Normally I would panic, cuss and cry -dry tears of course- and wonder if crosses ( Jamaican:problems, causing trials ) would follow me all day.

But today was different. I decided not to rush things, not to stress but take things easy and just do what I had to do and leave in a good mood. And when I was ready to leave, I left. I reached the bus park, without looking at the time through my journey from my house to catch a taxi to when I reached to catch the bus . When I reached the bus unlike other days there was no line because the bus was already there – I did not have to wait for half an hour or more for one. At the steps of the bus, there was a man in front of me and because I was unsure if there were any empty seats left, I asked him to check for me- but he did not. So I stepped up, fully prepared to step out if there was none – standing all the way to U.W.I is not easy with the morning traffic! Alas, there were many seats available for me to pick and choose from and that’s exactly what I did. And as I sat I realized that today, when I woke late and decided not to panic was the day I got the 6:30 bus I had been trying to get every week since taking this route. Imagine that, I really was not late, it was the right time!

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I started thinking about all the times I had gotten up early to catch this particular bus and never made it in time. I remember once reaching before it left only to realize there was no seat for me and there were many already standing. Though I was disappointed I had no choice but to wait on the next one. When things are meant to be all you need to do is show up at the right time and with the right attitude. I realized that the level of stress I have been experiencing lately,was really unnecessary. Though there are many things I want to do, and wish I could do them ALL now, it simply is not the right time. Instead what we all should do is make sure we are prepared to act when the right time comes along. Even though I thought I was late I had already prepared what to wear the day before, done my hair so I wouldn’t have to do it in the morning – I would have time but you never know – and I already knew what I was taking with me. I have been feeling really tired and so I needed that extra hour of rest. So when I woke there was no need to panic, just do what I had to and go. I didn’t stop to cuss and worry, because that would have slowed me down.

Sometimes we all need to be reminded that at the end of the day we have so much control and no more. So, when we think we are late or behind in any way, we need to know that we are always on time when we accept and work with God’s time.

Just Because…

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that You would indeed bless me and enlarge my territory, and that Your hand would be with me, and You would keep me from evil so that it does not hurt me!” And God granted his request.

1 Chronicles 4:10

The irony of words is that they are easier to say than do. Its easy to say you will change the world, sitting in the backyard of your parents’ house. It’s easy because no one is there to challenge you. If you say it at a whisper, then no one will know if you failed and you can go back to being your normal self.

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We tell ourselves it’s enough to do what we have been told and just getting by. We do not ask for much and in turn we get little. We then complain because we got exactly what we asked for and then complain how unfair the world is. But we never take responsibility for the dreams we gave up too quickly, to following the assembly line of a “cookie- cutter- live”.

We may be at this stage of living this way because it seemed impossible to grab that dream and make it real. We thought and listened to all the reasons why it could not be. And so it was never to be. Instead of listening to the noise from outside, sometimes it’s more vital to look within and depend on the Spirit instead of the flesh. Only then will we be able to accept, if we still have doubts, that anything is truly possible if we believe. We need to remember Jabez’s prayer when we feel we are too small to dream big and too powerless to expect more:

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The Poor Cry Out

Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor
Will also cry himself and not be heard.

Proverbs 21:13

There I was trying as quickly as possible and as covertly as possible trying to eat my fried eggs. It did not matter that a big chunk had fallen on the ground and quite without shame I quickly scooped it up and ate- do not judge it was too big a piece to leave there. So I had finished the eggs and was about to destroy a piece of bulla ( rich Jamaican cake made with molasses and spiced with ginger and nutmeg, sometimes dark-colored and other times light-colored ), when a man approached with a dog jumping around his feet. I was so taken by the playful nature of the dog, that I asked him if it belonged to him and he confirmed this. He looked a bit hesitant and asked if the dog being there was bothering me to which I said no. He sat and I returned to my job of the bulla destruction. Suddenly he asked me if I was a christian, and I said yes – I figured it must be the hairstyle. He then asked me a question no one had ever asked me – well not a completely stranger – he asked, “can you pray for me?”

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First, that killed my appetite, which was a bit shocking – I love bulla! Because I had not expected it I hesitated, but I was also intrigued by his request. What could have caused a healthy look young man to make such a request of a stranger. I asked him what was the problem; I saw that he was at first hesitant to do so, but as we could not proceed without me knowing the why – yes I am very stubborn – he did so. He told me that he was behind on his rent by three months and the landlady was about to throw him out. He told me of a friend – not a friend – who would help him for a price that was too high and of his son who he needed to get some groceries for because he really did not have the money to buy food. Well I thought, “I will have to do my best”, I have to pray for him. As I prayed, the words came and as the words came I heard this big strong man crying. No silent tears running down his cheeks but when I finished praying and opened my eyes, it was a proper ugly cry. And at that moment I was reminded that there are persons we walk with everyday and whom we talk to, who smile with us, and are suffering.

His burden was too heavy to continue to carry and so he sought someone, even for a moment to help him to carry it by interceding to God on his behalf. After I had eaten that fallen piece of egg, I did wonder about germs. However, after my encounter with that man I realize that for some people germs are the least of their concerns. For some the line between them and complete despair has become so blurred that all they can do is cry out.

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The Danger Lies Within

“It’s amazing what we keep hidden from others.”

― James Morris, What Lies Within

Here’s a wild thought: in the story of the Garden of Eden the serpent tempts Eve who in turn convinces Adam to eat the forbidden fruit. It’s the serpent’s fault for tempting them in the first place right? Well what if a large portion of the blame lies with those who gave in to the temptation. I mean we have been taught to hate the serpent and revile it for its place in the fall of man from grace. However, what if we look at it this way: by reviling the serpent we negate the blame unto him and in a way use the crutch of human imperfection to mitigate the role of both in their fall.

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Sometimes we do the same and do not realize or choose to ignore that we do. We try to fight the enemy: the ones who undermine us, those people who, “have it in for us”. When really, we have so many faults, they create bigger problems than any problem our “enemies” can cause. We take a break from feeling any guilt that we did or are doing something wrong in all the mess we may find ourselves in . We latch on to the victim mentality and we run with it. After all it’s not our fault that we are so good and everyone else is so so bad! And it feels good doesn’t it, when we know our failure is not because we did something wrong? It was that “bad mind friend”, that “no good person” who would not let us win! Meanwhile, many with this mentality sit and wait for the proof that yes, the world has it in for us ; I got up and the sun was not shinning and the traffic was just terrible, life surely wants me to fail.

And I could find more examples with the many excuses made and blaming being spewed everywhere. But one day when we realize how toxic we can be, we are suddenly devastated by how blind we have been to this side of ourselves – not really. Some even choose to live in denial, finding it easier to hide behind the victim mentality, rather than acknowledging our faults. But we never hide from the truth and will one day need to acknowledge and be honest about our role in what is taking place in our lives. The problem is not that we make mistakes, the problem is when we do not acknowledge that we have a major role in the mistakes made. After all, you have to ask yourself if God was more angry at Adam and Eve for eating the fruit or for lying about it, even with the evidence of them wearing those fig leaves.

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You Have Permission

“Who gave fire permission to burn?”

― Marty Rubin

Have you ever found yourself in a corner because you had to make a decision and you are sweating like a pig because it felt like your enter existence depended on that decision? Having made that decision did you then regret it days, months or even years later? If you have and you now cannot trust yourself to make the right decisions, you are not alone. Making decisions are hard, especially when you feel it will impact your life forever. When we make missteps, we may feel so traumatized that we become paralyzed with fear, when we have to make much more profound choices in the future. But today we are giving ourselves all the permission we need.

We will give ourselves the permission to make the decisions that are right. By doing this we will also let go of our need to please, he, she and the old lady. Let’s empower ourselves by not allowing others to be our judge and executor, but, give ourselves the right to put our own stamp and seal of approval on our lives. So give your approval for when you will start doing what you love and no one can take the happiness that this will bring. And if you are doing something you love, it’s easier to give yourself permission to fail – and you will. But with failure comes the opportunity for growth and change. So, give yourself the permission to change any and everything about you when ever you have to. Because when you change you open yourself to having new experiences and going places you never imaged you would go. Bu,t make sure when you get there you also give yourself permission to just do nothing for a while before giving yourself the permission to take a stab at something new.

But most importantly, give yourself the permission to be happy by living the life you want and being the best you can be while doing so. Remember, nobody else will.

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It’s In The Details

“Details matter, it’s worth waiting to get it right.”

― Steve Jobs

You may look at a proposal, a plan or an offer and think, ” wow what a great plan/offer!” Your mind is blown and you are ready to get started and then disaster strikes. You never took the time to think it through, never did the proper investigations, never asked the right questions. If you had, you would have realized that it made no sense.

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I remember when I was unemployed and I had student loan to repay and the payments were due. I was a bit desperate. How would I get a job to pay for the loan and feed myself? Then a seeming angel – but really a devil – appeared and offered the answer to my prayer. What ended up happening was that I lost money I could not afford to lose and spent an entire day waiting in a place I had no place being. That day was my lucky day, because I was so blinded by desperation that I could have ended up in a much worse situation. Looking back I thank God it was not worse, that I was only scammed and lived to tell the tale of my folly. I also learned a hard lesson: not everything is as it appears and not everyone means you well.

Sadly, it’s a lesson I have not fully learned and at this point I am getting really frustrated with my stubborn shortsightedness. However, I realize more the importance of asking questions when something doesn’t feel right or, sounds too good to be true. No one can make your dreams come true – they are not God nor do most help without self-gain. When you feel desperate that is the time you need to ask the tough questions and to whip out your magnifying glass, a microscope even, to see what lies beneath the surface. Because what’s beneath the surface might shock you into the reality of what you could be committing to. Let’s hope that we are not too desperate to accept the truth. But whether or not you take that leap, look how deep you may end up; then whatever happens after that is yours to own.

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You Are Yourself…

“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.”

― Lao Tzu

For you before the onset of the Monday morning blues…

Wake up everyday and jump into your skin and don’t think about what the naysayers say. Feel the wind as it caresses your skin, breathe in and out and keep it moving. Unfold this way and that and never give in to the judgement passed on by others.

Love what you see when you look in the mirror and roar instead of purr, and never let anyone draw a picture of your life. The proof is in the pudding so make sure you’re doing the baking. When it’s time up, make sure it’s the time you set but also make sure to use your own clock and make your own calendar too!

The box is not it. You do not belong in a place you do not fit, create a space for your shape. The image projected is the one designed and you and your creator know the code to the patent. It’s a code that is iron clad.

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You want to do cartwheels? You want to bend down low? While you’re at it play sightings ( Jamaican game which involves the use of a juice box stuffed with paper that is thrown at the persons in the middle who have to avoid all throws. If you get hit, you’re out) and avoid the worries and fears of what people will think, say and do; just be you. If you find yourself boxed in then be the bull inna pen ( made a circle around a person (the bull) and they would try to escape in any way. It also taught us how to push towards our goals especially if it’s just people in the way ) and break free. Never get caught in a game of stuckie ( this game taught the importance of not allowing another person to touch you, else you’re stuck ); never let anyone touch your essence; they can try but they will never catch you. Run faster and make it to your home base.

Keep your head above the water of despair and keep doing the necessary gymnastics and when you’re tired remember:

They can’t keep a good man down
Always keep a smile when they want me to frown
Keep the vibes and I stood my grounds
They will never ever take my crown
Who Jah bless I say no man curse
Things gettin’ better when they thought it would be worst…

Sizzla

It’s all in how you see the glass… or just move it completely and put what you have already seen so others can see it too. Sometimes it’s good to follow “yuh mind” and do what feels right. Even if no one else agrees because they can’t get a thing out of it. If the zone is making you dizzy, it was never a comfort, so get out of it. Make no excuses for your inability to stand your ground and for not steering yourself right where you need to be. Sweep aside the stuff that doesn’t matter and grab what does. There is no power in “I can’t” and “I wont” so toss them in the garbage; there is power in “I can” and “I will” so use them to fuel your journey.

You can never hear this too many times; your destiny lies in being yourself so forget about anyone else and just be.

Brown Thank You Card on Pink and Blue Small Bottle