Simple Blessings – Page 11 – ramblrWrites.com

Tell No One

I have decided that I will no longer be telling anyone what I want to achieve or plan on doing – yet here I am telling you that I will stop doing what I am currently doing- telling you what I’m not suppose to tell you I am going to do.

Here goes.

I have, in the past told others what I planned to do and guess what? Half or more have still not been achieved. Telling them did not motivate me to accomplish them, in fact I stressed myself out so much about completely everything within a certain deadline that nothing got done!

It became – and still is- irritating when they continually asked, ” aren’t you done yet, ” with this or that, as if I had invited them along for the ride.

But wait! I did invite them.

By telling them about my plans, I now realized I made them a part of it. I did give them permission to butt in and ask me questions about the things I said I would do. Whether out of curiosity, or genuine concern, for better or worst, I had made them a part of that journey.

Well no more, it’s too much pressure!

So moving forward I will be travelling solo, and information will be shared on a NEED to know basis.

When I feel I absolutely have to share something, I will write it down in a journal. Yes, journaling will be my way of getting everything out that’s about to burst out of me.

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The truth is telling everyone what you plan to do or want to do is taking time away from actually getting things done. Plus, it is somewhat narcissistic! Whether or not people know what you are doing does not diminish its value.

There are people who feel the need to do so for what ever reason, but their reason does not have to be my reason or your reason or anyone else’s reason!

I am going to be like a caterpillar that cocoons itself until I am ready to transform and take flight. It doesn’t matter who sees or knows because I will.

It’s time for me and everyone who does this, to stop telling people what we want to do and let the results speak for themselves.

And Then… December!

Today is the first day of the last year! And I know many of us are looking forward to this end. It’s time to get ready to end the year with a bang – and it takes all 31 days people.

For many 2019 has been good and bad in many many ways. There are some who will say that in all honesty, it has been a difficult year in many ways. I’m not saying that it was all bad, but, when you put it all together it has been a year filled with many challenges.

So we – maybe out of desperate optimism – believe that because it is nearing the end of the year, come 2020 all our struggles will disappear, like magic. We believe that awesome things MUST replace all the difficulties that we have experienced. Well I bet you felt that way at the end of 2018.

2019 is gonna be the best year ever! Until it wasn’t.

Sorry I hate to break this to you – well not really – live doesn’t work like that. Things don’t change because it’s a new day, month or year. The baggage that we carried throughout the year, can still weigh us down next year.

If we want to get rid of some of the things that we know we don’t need to carry, we should do exactly that; get rid of it. While you get distracted by the revelry, and good cheer of the season remember to keep in mind the need to start working on improving things in 2020 – if you have not done so yet. While it is the beginning of the end for 2019, make sure you’re getting ready to face 2020.

And finally, remember that advent begins today and ends on Christmas Eve; use these four weeks to focus on what will help keep you grounded in the coming year: faithfulness(peace), hope, joy and love!

A bird in Hand: By Design.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
Meaning:
It is better to have a lesser yet certain advantage at something, than the possibility of a greater one that may come to nothing.
akatheversatile.com

Originally, the English proverb above came from the medieval falconry which loosely means that a falcon was worth more than the prey . Etymologically, the expression was first used in the 15th century and then the 13th century Latin expression : Plus valet manibus avis unica quam dupla silvis ( using wood instead of bush). There is also evidence of a similar expression in the 6th century B.C.E of Near Eastern Origin, proverbs of Ahiquar: a sparrow in thy hand is better than a thousand sparrows flying. But is this necessarily true?

It is a proverb I have heard all my life but I am now thinking about it seriously. If we were to think of it, is it always best to hold on to what you have instead of trying for something better? We have to be grateful for what we have, but do we have to always be satisfied with it? What we need to ask is how valuable is the bird in hand versus what we may be chasing.

Those things that you do not have that you desire how real are they? Many persons now are kind of pretenders – there are some serious catfishing taking place. We see what they want us to see and bam! We are convinced that we have to be them, have what they have and do what they do. So we end up looking at ourselves and our lives and we are bitterly disappointed and just like that we hate what we have achieved – not enough, what we are – lacking in every area!

We don’t realize that we have much more than those we envy, until we lose it.

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While it’s good to strive for more, make sure it’s because you are following a path that is true to who you are and what you believe. This is when you will get what belongs to you, and you will know this because as my granny use to say:

Wat is fi yuh cyaa be un fi yuh”. Meaning – What is yours will always be yours.

Image result for to be alive is a privilege quote

So You Don’t Become What You Speak Against.

Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
― C.G. Jung

I don’t like when people are selfish but I have acted selfishly. I can’t tolerate hypocrites, but I cringe when I realize that I have said something hypocritical. Being self-aware, what does this mean?

Before I decided to look more on this, I did not know there was a self-awareness theory – there seems to be one for every thing under the sun. Well, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, a very basic definition involves, knowing and understanding yourself very well. However, in Social Psychology, self-awareness is when: “people can think, act and experience and when they can think about what they are thinking, doing and experiencing” (Encyclopedia.com). For Shelly Duval and Robert Wicklunds their theory of self-awareness focuses on how the self can lead to self-evaluation , using as their measuring stick, “standards of correctness that specify how the self ought to think, feel and behave” (Encyclopedia.com). Therefore, being self-aware is seen as crucial for ones sense of self-control. So, being self-aware is a ticket to controlling those things about yourself that you wish you could carve out and throw away forever.

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But there is a crisis here, you can become too self-aware, according to the experts. It can make your impression of yourself become distorted – well you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But here is what I am interested in highlighting, we need to try and be aware of and be honest about our intentions when we do and say something. Instead of focusing on what others are doing and trying to come to a conclusion on people’s motives, we need to wisely use the time to assess ourselves. Yes the world is terrible, because there are some terrible people living here, but do we contribute to this terror without realizing it? Are we aware when we judge and condemn others while doing the same things, or do we really care?

Do we know how to navigate the public self-awareness that we have? When we change our behavior to suit others who are we really fooling, them or ourselves? When we become worried about things about ourselves we cannot change, all because we fear the impression we will leave others with, all because of a “preference” that we do not meet, we will suffer the most, them or us? When we change so much that it really makes sense to go with a whole new name, who becomes the victim? The ones we try to please? I don’t think so.

Sometimes in order not to become the things we speak against, we have to look within and erase the trace matters that exist ready to take control of the me we need to be.

Your Happiness. Your Responsibility.

Who told you that you had the right to depend on someone else to make you happy? There goes another fallacy!
– S Grant

I know, I know, there is this one person or thing that can make you smile no matter what. Also, being around your friends or family or who ever, makes you happy! But here is the thing, you cannot rely on someone else for your happiness.

First, that is asking way too much. Remember, that person wants to be happy too, and if they are busy trying to make you happy, who will do the same for them? Certainly not you because you depend on them, because you can’t make yourself happy.

Sure, they may love you enough to try for a while but if its a constant game of play and repeat, they are gonna end up resenting you. Behind your back they may start grumbling, then they complain then they really get fed up and start finding little ways and things to say to stick it to you. Then ultimately, no one is happy and things fall a part, spectacularly.

Or think about this. That person who is your all, and who is your source of joy and who gives you contentment, may not see you the same way. There you are on a sad day: you can’t eat, sleep or work; you need that person. And there they are, on the other end of the spectrum , they are having a great day, they are living their best live yet!

For many reasons, sometimes we think we can’t be happy with the things we surround ourselves with: we just can’t live without them. Until they’re not there and we have to live without them. I know I spoke about not being an island, but that doesn’t mean you need to be a vine that sucks the joy from everything and everyone. That does not make anyone happy. So, be happy with what you have and who’s around, but don’t expect your happiness to be based on them.

At the end of the day we have no control over how others behave, but we have control over ourselves: Never search your happiness in others. It will make you feel alone. search it in yourself and you will feel happy even when left alone (e-buddhism.com).

Selective Focus Photography of Red Waterlily Flower in Bloom

Get Closer!

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11: 29

I have noticed that often times many persons who for whatever reason are placed together will claim that they are united. However, when you take a closer look you realise that this “closeness” is just pretend.

I have seen too many cases where persons will smile and support you publicly and then tear down privately. I think many of us need to look more at the idea of being yoked to each other, to make our burdens light.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart; and you will find rest. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light
Matthew 11:25-30

In the verses above, Jesus makes this call to all those who are weary and burdened, but do we try, in our own way, to lighten each others’ burden?

In agriculture a yoke is a device used to link two or more animals together for greater strength when ploughing the land. There, we need to see ourselves as being yoked to each other, knowing that we succeed together because we support each other.

At one point when I was younger I wanted to live on an island – it seems no one could be trusted and everyone was a great source of unhappiness. On my little island I would not have anyone to compare myself to and I could truly be free and most importantly I would have my own space -apparently having plenty space has always been an obsession of mine. however, as I could older I realized that my island would be lonely and that despite all the trouble they gave me, I would miss my family. I also realized that there some great people I would miss on my island. People who came and some left who helped me to make me better and just genuinely happy. I could frolic and play by myself, but eventually I would get bored just my own company.

Now, this yoke business may seem extreme for someone who loves space and freedom but the yoke reminds us that in this world we cannot live only for ourselves. While a yoke can be attached to one animal the level of work that can be done depends on how many carry the work. It can also teach us how to be disciplined, that when things seem impossible instead of giving up we dig deeper for the reserve we have to get us through any situation. Further, a yoke may have two animals at different levels of maturity, enabling one to learn from the other. however the support provided by both is equally beneficial to the overall success of the enterprise. It is a concept we need to practice in order to fully support each other with the knowledge and expertise gained.

Though we have the support of God, we still need to be genuinely supportive of each other; to encourage each other to be strong and hopeful. It only takes a word or a small act to do so.

Don’t Worry When You Mess Up!

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Can you relate to the above statement? It can really be frustrating when your sole purpose in doing something, is to do it right -what ever right is – and then have everything just crash and burn, beautifully.

I am not a patient person and I have resigned myself to this flaw being with me forever. So, currently I am learning the art of being patient. Sometimes it is a lesson I do not want to learn and try to cut corners. When this happens, I make a lot of mistakes – and I do mean a lot. This leads to more work and more time wasted doing: THE SAME THING. So you see why this can be frustrating.

When I started my current degree I gave myself half the time to finish, since then that overconfidence has crashed and burned and I am still looking for some of the pieces. Suffice it to say, I have learned that bumps, cracks and even craters, on the road to achieving anything meaningful is inevitable. Messing up so much was new to me and so for a good time I was terrified by how much I was messing up. Also, what made it worse, was that each time I tried to correct something I made it worse which added to an everlasting list of mess; my list outgrew me and tried to devour me! I was in denial about the mess I was making and became a mess.

But if you make a big enough mess, there is nowhere you can turn to avoid it. Like a monstrous avalanche it can sweep you and your dreams aside, when you do not acknowledge the mess and clean it up. And so until I acknowledged that I did not know how to clean it up on my own, I was sinking in quick sand.

I am beginning to accept that it is okay to mess up and each day it becomes a little easier to live with making them. But, there is a danger in ignoring the mess you create, because there may come a point when the mess consumes and destroy its creator. So while we all struggle with our individual mess, we need to remember that we may be the creator of the mess but there is no reason we have to stay in it. Pay attention to your life and stop creating the mess you threw out yesterday.

Just remember that mess does not define you.

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