Tag: faith in God

There I am giving myself a pep talk for the hundredth time, “Come on, stop doubting yourself.” Then an epiphany, it’s not myself I doubt, it’s God.

I seem to have often lost sight of God in the confusion of trying to find myself – ironic. What is that even about? I have noticed that it is hard to know yourself when you don’t trust yourself to do anything without making a mistake or outright failing. What I know, then becomes covered by failings and regrets. So, I don’t trust myselves to do the simple things, for I see potential failure in every action. But there is something even more sinister at play. When I doubt myself it’s because I am using myself as a scapegoat. Yes, that was the true epiphany, behind the self-disgust and self-criticism is the sad truth, I don’t trust God to fulfil His promises to me.

What are the Promises of God?

God has promised to strengthen us when we are weak. However, many people become weak because they forget this promise or don’t believe it. It can seem impossible to believe in the middle of a challenging situation. God has also promised to take care of all our needs. Yet, we often doubt how we will receive the things we need and how we can accomplish certain tasks. We forget that God has already promised to take care of our needs. When we fail to get what we need, we blame ourselves for not being enough, not being smart enough, or not being resourceful enough. However, we fail to acknowledge that we have totally ignored the promise from God to take care of all our needs. Then we pray for God to help us and then turn to unqualified, ill-equiped persons just like ourselves forgetting that we have to wait. We do not wait for an answer but proceed to answer our own prayer to God in a timeline that suits our desires and not the desires of God. God promises to work everything out for our good, yet we get disappointed when we don’t get the job, or end up where we don’t want to be. We feel that there was something we could have done to make things happen in the way we think they should happen. We are not thankful for the rejections, for the nos and for the delays. Really we get mad at ourselves for not being enough. The sad truth is we don’t trust God to know what is best and just leave it all to Him. He promises to be with us and to protect us but we never remember this when we feel alone, we wonder what’s wrong with us, why we have no friends and we try to mould ourselves into people pleasers to keep those who were never meant to stay with us around. We are not confident that God can take care of us, so we worry about everything and everyone and never venture beyond what we can see and understand. Then there is the promise of freedom from sin. Here we feel our sins can never be forgiven no matter what because they are so bad, so unforgivable, even though God already promises through His words, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed (John 8: 34-36). We are keeping ourselves shackled to our sins by not believing that we are free of them through Jesus Christ. And because of these doubts, we lack the peace that comes from God. We cannot find it in exercise, yoga, motivational quotes or daily affirmations but in the word of God, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:26–27).

Now, the safest way to combat your doubts is to live in the word of God. I have been guilty of skimming and not living in God’s word to my detriment. It can seem hard to daily turn to the word of God for sustenance and the enrichment of our faith, but it is vital for survival. We are too busy, but are we making the effort to find the time. As for me, I know I am not and that is not a good place to be. It is vital to the survival of our relationship with God and victory over the challenges that rush at us on a daily basis. Also, we have to strengthen our prayer life and be consistent in all things, whether we see them as major or not. When our communication and connection with God is undermined then doubts creep in and take hold because we have lost sight of the one who truly sustains us. We have to nurture our relationship with God so that our faith grows. We have to practice letting go and letting God no matter the outcome. We have to trust, that His ways are always better than our way. We have to trust that He will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert for us. Not because we deserve it or because we have earned this great and wonderful gift, but because He is faithful and does not give us what we deserve but what we require.