Knock It out Your Way It may get messy but don't be afraid to kick it out the way. They may say that it's not how you play the game but so what. Take the chance to get back control before your lose your soul in the blackhole of regret. To succeed it must be agreed that you have to strike first. Don't lie with fear and rise with despair take control and take hold of what you need. Knock all the doubts out of your way and keep them under your feet.
Tag: taking control
A New Dawn
A New Dawn Tremulously tentativly cautiously hope appears beaten back by the lean years. Unsupported by strong roots it still shoots strong in heart a stubborn will survival an unsung skill. Hope marches on, running jumping higher refusing to die.
Did It Leave Me?
Did It Leave Me? Blue black breath I stand on this desserted trek waiting Wondering, will it come? Has it gone? Will I have another chance if it has? Aimeless back and forth I go. Only the black shadows friend or foe? I do not know. I stand a pawn of Time lacking vision my only crime. Have I already been condemned? Frozen. will I find a friend to help me back on track? I stand rooted, waiting. Can you tell me, if it is gone that way will it come back?
I Go
I Go I go where the wind calls my name and the stars shine down my lane and I am lulled by the rain that falls on mt again and again. I go where my spirit finds peace all the doubtful voices cease as I walk down these lazt streets. I go to give back the strength so that I an go the length to reach my next and give of my best as I go...
Taking a Break to Thrive.
Too much has been happening it seems lately: too many activities, too many disappointments, too much doubting of myself and too many dark thoughts to keep me down. So I am taking a break. I am going to turn off, walk away from and avoid all those things that make me feel anxious, sad and hopeless.
Yes, this can happen to anyone and there is a breaking point. I think I have reached that breaking point and before I am broken like brittle bones, devoid of the vital nutrients needed to thrive, I have decided to start by taking a break from social media. Since working mostly from home, over a year now, I realize that I have become dependent on social media for companionship, for entertainment, news and a pastime activities that fill points of my day that seem empty – even though the work is there piling up until I cannot ignore it or a deadline is approaching then I stress myself out to get it done. My anxieties, depression and fears were being fed by those seemingly informative medias that made me wonder, now that I am no longer engaged, how I went down those rabbit holes.
Going down the rabbit hole is surprisingly easy. However, when you begin to suffocate down there and you want to get out it is annoyingly hard to find your way back to a place where you feel comfortable once more. But The first part of getting out turns out to be the hardest, and that is actually stepping back. There are so many reasons to stay connected but when the connection feeds the monsters inside that tear you a part piece by piece then we have to dig in and fight to disconnect. The highs and lows can be too much and when you wake up in a good mood and end your day crying because of what you consume on those different platforms then it is necessary to sign off. For the past couple of weeks that has been me to a “T” and now I am mentally and physically tired – not to mention the strain of work, a remedy for disaster.
So, for eight days I will not be on social media unless it is for work. When those eight days end I will decide if I should extend the break and whether I want to make the break more extreme. I now realizing that what is most important to me, is my sanity. Being active on social media does not give that to me. We each have to find what works for us in protecting our sense of well being and mental Health.
Just Say
Just Say There you are I know you have much to say much to share can you do so now? I have walked with you listened as you echoed silence borne of fears and tears and deceit like silent rivers they have ran deep and they cut. But you must heal. Take back your voice listen to it become a sonic bomb bouncing off walls that imprisoned you - until it leaves cracks. Let light seep in and the sound take wings fly and touch all releasing Pan pon pan Then stand on Pride Rock, and watch your words create pandemonium.
Doctor’s Visit
Well I went to the doctor and it only confirms that the change was sorely needed. Since my last visit in March I have gained 11 pounds! I knew I was heavier, my clothes and body told me so but still it was a big surprise how much. Since turning 16 years old I have not been this heavy. However the visit was not just about my weight gain, but a way for me to take back control after feeling powerless for a long time. I have already told know it will not be easy, but as the doctor said the weight has got to go! However, eating too much was not the only cause, not only do we need to take care of our physical health but more so our mental health. I have not been stressed in a long time and it really took a toll on my body, mind and emotions. It really is true that your mental and physical selves are so interwoven that the breakdown of one leads to the breakdown of the other. What made this period worse was that I felt I had no one who would understand what I was going through. I have felt so alone in this period than I have for a long time.
Visiting the doctor lifted a burden I did not know I had, off my shoulders. There were certain fears about my health both mental and physical that I had not voiced to anyone around me and it made me feel good to share it. It was good to feel I was in a non-judgemental space where I could unload a bout something that would lead to absolutely no judgement. So now I don’t fear the doctor as much the next time, and I won’t wait so long to go the next time. for the rest of the year, I plan to visit the doctor every month and get the necessary tests done to do my part in ensuring I am as healthy as I can be – under the circumstances. However this is just the beginning. While it is true that your health is your wealth, I also feel honesty in all areas of live is crucial moving forward. I hope this will lead to less future misunderstandings and hurt feelings with those I come in contact or have relationships with.
While we do our best to cope with the changes still ahead, we should never forget that we need to constantly assess how we are positively impacting the lives of others. I will do my best to encourage those around me to take their physical and mental health seriously. I am slowly realising that it is not enough that whatever change each of us experience just benefit us, but it should also be beneficial to those who need to see and experience the change along with us.
So I am committed to this journey, I do not know where it will take me but I hope I never feel as if I am taking the journey alone again.
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