Destiny what does it even mean? Is it being caught in that in between? A place that tells you have arrive when you had not taken the bus to get there? I am destined to be great? Who says? If i reach high enough and hold on long enough it will find me? So I must wait or I should go? Tell how do I find it? Can I find it? Will it wait for me? Will it wait until I have made many messes then clean up or try to? DO I have to find the answers first? Do i have to unlock secrets I don't know about?
Can you Please answer me.
How Long, far, deep and wide? How much of me do I need to cut piece by piece? If you don't have the answers, who does? Who can tell me what is real? Are my dreams real and my life a nightmare made to look normal? Have been in a haunted house all this time! Do I need to gather weapons to myself to save myself from myself?
Where do I turn what will I do tied up by my own tongue? Can i voice my displeasure when I am trapped behind these bars that chew and cut and demolish everything?
What if you just take the leap and go for what you wanted?
What’s the worse thing that could happen?
Is what if better than If only?
Being able to look ahead and operate from the what if may be a lot more promising than looking back at what was and regrettably sigh, if only. Sometimes we think we have made the only logical decision there is to make in a given situation. However, when we honestly cross-examine ourselves we admit that that logical decision was made from an illogical fear.
There are many of us who only recognize this after the fact, when there is nothing else to do but learn and do better. Some, hold stubbornly to the mistake and refuse to admit the naturalness in making decisions out of fear that we end up regretting. You see, when we think of what ifs, we are thinking of all the possible problems- as if life does not always have problems that we have to deal with. We may think it more sobering to think up all the possible obstacle before they happen so we maybe prepared.
However, we will never be prepared from the real thing, because at the heart of all our logical reasoning is a heart that desperately wants things to work out the way we want it to work out. We may say it doesn’t matter, until it does. Regret is terrible and can be debilitating when you see the possibility of what could have been if only we fought against your fear of what you do not know.
Staying on the shore and watching all the swimmers is not how you learn to swim. Therefore, staying safely indoors and watching everyone else make various attempts and doing stuff, is not how life was meant to be lived. Many persons love the internet because they can live vicariously through someone else. many sit and watch and wish they could be that person, go where they have been and do what they have done. How profound it would be for each of us to realize that what we get is the remains from their yesterday. That while we are there saying some day we will do the same. They have already moved on to the next thing and if we try to following we will get lost in the shuffle to the next thing. While we are there trying to catch up to a lifestyle two days old.
India. Arie, in speaking about her song, Break the Shell, indicates a time when she was “fighting to grow”, a process she found to be “dehumanizing”.
Many of us have walls that we need to scale but we find it scary to make that first move. We find it difficult to make a plan to get over those walls, much less to tackle it. Instead, what happens is that we spend too much time dreaming instead of planning an escape. Before we know it, it has gotten impossible to make a move towards them.
But the people who live there are strong, and the cities have walls and are very large. We felt as small as grasshoppers, and that’s how we must have looked to them.
Numbers 13: 28, 33
We become like the men who Moses sent to spy in Canaan; we allow ourselves to become so small that we make the wall more powerful than it ever had a right to be. We also make ourselves too small and too insignificant in the eyes of those who guard those walls and keep us trapped within.We begin to see ourselves through the eyes of others and belief that their view of us is the only image that matters. We begin to wonder if we can grow tall enough and strong enough to conquer them and then we begin to lie to ourselves, rather than test our faith, by putting our trust in the will of the Creator for us.
That wall we build to keep everything out, the good and the bad. When we think it’s safer to keep in and keep everything out, even the things we are meant to keep. That wall we nurture, ignoring everyone that is on our team, only we did not know, because we built it to high to really see and know and grow. The wall we used to judge too harshly, can only be destroyed when we stop and accept people for who they are and not how we feel about them.
That wall can cause us to stop stretching to avoid the pain that comes with too much movement, and stop trying to escape the hurt that jumping and missing brings. So we forget that that wall was never that great in the first place, and never that strong to begin with, until we gave it the power to be so.
I do my best because I’m counting on you counting on me.
Maya Angelou
Sometimes we are so faithless in ourselves. We are so fearful that we can do nothing right that we put our trust in the abilities of others to ignite our light. We feel that if others can do it for themselves, they can help us do it for ourselves. We forget that sticking to their plan is the quickest way to fail and following someone else’s voice will lead us astray.
When you replace the voice inside your head for voices outside of you, you begin to get scared to live, then you put your whole life in another persons hands. Then you forget how to breathe properly, because that could blow everything you thought you had going for you. The funny thing is, even when we know they are wrong, fear prevents us from saying so and taking control. This goes on until it cannot and then you have to turn to our true source of light and life to find our way back home.
One of the hardest things is to be honest at all cost. However, we first have to be truthful to ourselves in order not to live a lie. In today’s world it is so easy to do this, so it takes a clearer head and constant honesty to remain faithful to your authentic self. At the end of the day we are each responsible for ourselves, whether we feel we can take on this responsibility or not. Even in the off-chance that we gather our success from the voice of others, how do we know that it will be good enough?
To be in the world but not of it is something to strive for:
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.
1 John 2: 15-16
When we stop depending on the examples of those we deem a success, then, we will have more time to realize our personal truths. We will not be afraid to chart our own course and to do things our way, because we seek no applause from anyone, but look for the answers from our Creator. We will be happy that someone made it to their destination, but we wont feel the need to be a disciple and follow. For after we realize our part in this universe, we will happily play our role, until the curtain falls.
Remember this when you feel adrift. There is a reason why you have to be still. A reason you are for that moment empty and not filled. There is a reason you curl inward and not out. A reason you have to take you time to think and think without reason or rhyme. A reason you hibernate. When you sleep so long So deep. Remember this when you cannot think. When your mind is consumed by nothing. When all you can do is sit stand walk look back and then ahead. Remember this when you cannot create all that in your mind so great. When all you can do is look at everyone who looks like they have left you on the side lines. Remember this when you wonder about faith and find it missing from your plate. When the weight of waste matter blocks your path and you wait for a rebirth of sorts. When you want to blurt the truth. But your voice has gone to the voice farm never to be reclaimed for a while. For a while you did not count something of yourself until you were called to mount that mountain.
Remember there is a time for everything:
(A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace). (Ecclesiastes 3:2-8, NKJV)
Remember every goodbye means hello. All your tears will disappear in the blinding sun. S.Grant Feb 2020
deserve (transitive verb): to acquire or earn a rightful claim, by virtue of actions or qualities; to become entitled to or worthy of (reward or punishment, esteem or disesteem, position, designation, or any specified treatment).
dailywritingtips.com
“You deserve so much more”. A phrase I often heard but thought little about. That is until I heard it enough to question it’s relevance. By saying that someone deserves something does it make it true?
When we say we or others deserve more, what are we really saying? Are we saying that life has been so unfair because they are not getting the recognition, rewards or riches that they deserve? If so, what can be done about it? Some people die never getting what others think they deserve and some wait their whole lives, never to get that which they deserve.
Some people have so much talent we are sick of them – in a good way. Yet those same people seem to always fall short of the recognition they deserve. Meanwhile you have Miss mediocrity and Mr Procrastination jiving along collecting that which seems to come with very little effort, or talent for that matter. We the observers to all this, are left confused and flabbergasted as this state of affairs, while we bitterly recite the soothing phrase, “you deserve so much more”. We cuddle and console until we are blue in the face but nothing changes. At least not for them!
So, does anyone deserve anything? I “stole” this question from psychologytoday.com. However, it is an important question. Does anyone deserve anything? Well according to them we feel we deserve something, because we feel it is our right to claim things as being meant for us. They say a lot in the article of deserving but the thing that stood out was to replace the idea of deserving with a needs-based perspective. Do we really need fame, respect, wealth and whatever else for whatever reason?
No, you get what you think you deserve, is another train of thought. Here the premise is that the belief you have in your own “special-ness” will cause you to reap good rewards but bad ones if you don’t. Okay, so it is your mindset that is at fault as to whether or not you get what you deserve. Well, if you think this is the case then by all means, start changing your mindset and act like you deserve everything you desire and it will come to you. Visualize and act on the belief you have. If you do not, you will suffer from the imposter syndrome, never feeling good enough, even though you have all the potential and talent in the world.
Personally, I think there are things we all deserve, but will we get it is another matter? I do not believe we deserve an applause for doing the bare minimum, for showing up but not showing out. I also believe that you may look at someone and envision what they deserve but what do they envision for themselves? Do they feel they deserve what you think they deserve? Do they even care about what you are getting so worked up about, on their behalf? I feel we deserve to be happy, to do what we love doing, to get just rewards for work done and to be our authentic selves. You can’t tell someone what they deserve, they must know it for themselves. Why?
If others cannot know their true worth, how will they ever demand what they deserve? Then again how much of it is in our control?
Hey! Wait a minute. Stop. Don't go any further. What are you doing? What do you intend to do here? Do you think you are here to struggle?
I watched slip so many time on that ladder. Going nowhere but the bottom.
Why do you care about them? Do you know while you watch them watch you, you go through the empty space set there to trap you.
You flash here and there like a fish out of water. Like a elephant ballerina. How odd that this is your normal. How sad that this is what you have come to.
You once so proud and strong. So noble A crude disfigured rendering used to entertain and keep you in your place!
Et bien Ah bueno oh byen Who cares if you passed the test! It was never written with you in mind.
Wait again! Think about. Before you go down this road, do you really care to do so.
Do you really care to put yourself through further torment?
It will never do to start taking in everything shoved down your throat.
As I look at you swimming in your sweat and the filth of others I have one question: will it be worth it?
ramblrWrites.com 