deserve (transitive verb): to acquire or earn a rightful claim, by virtue of actions or qualities; to become entitled to or worthy of (reward or punishment, esteem or disesteem, position, designation, or any specified treatment).dailywritingtips.com
“You deserve so much more”. A phrase I often heard but thought little about. That is until I heard it enough to question it’s relevance. By saying that someone deserves something does it make it true?
When we say we or others deserve more, what are we really saying? Are we saying that life has been so unfair because they are not getting the recognition, rewards or riches that they deserve? If so, what can be done about it? Some people die never getting what others think they deserve and some wait their whole lives, never to get that which they deserve.
Some people have so much talent we are sick of them – in a good way. Yet those same people seem to always fall short of the recognition they deserve. Meanwhile you have Miss mediocrity and Mr Procrastination jiving along collecting that which seems to come with very little effort, or talent for that matter. We the observers to all this, are left confused and flabbergasted as this state of affairs, while we bitterly recite the soothing phrase, “you deserve so much more”. We cuddle and console until we are blue in the face but nothing changes. At least not for them!
So, does anyone deserve anything? I “stole” this question from psychologytoday.com. However, it is an important question. Does anyone deserve anything? Well according to them we feel we deserve something, because we feel it is our right to claim things as being meant for us. They say a lot in the article of deserving but the thing that stood out was to replace the idea of deserving with a needs-based perspective. Do we really need fame, respect, wealth and whatever else for whatever reason?
No, you get what you think you deserve, is another train of thought. Here the premise is that the belief you have in your own “special-ness” will cause you to reap good rewards but bad ones if you don’t. Okay, so it is your mindset that is at fault as to whether or not you get what you deserve. Well, if you think this is the case then by all means, start changing your mindset and act like you deserve everything you desire and it will come to you. Visualize and act on the belief you have. If you do not, you will suffer from the imposter syndrome, never feeling good enough, even though you have all the potential and talent in the world.
Personally, I think there are things we all deserve, but will we get it is another matter? I do not believe we deserve an applause for doing the bare minimum, for showing up but not showing out. I also believe that you may look at someone and envision what they deserve but what do they envision for themselves? Do they feel they deserve what you think they deserve? Do they even care about what you are getting so worked up about, on their behalf? I feel we deserve to be happy, to do what we love doing, to get just rewards for work done and to be our authentic selves. You can’t tell someone what they deserve, they must know it for themselves. Why?
If others cannot know their true worth, how will they ever demand what they deserve? Then again how much of it is in our control?