The Sublime In this moment I have found perfection. Rays of golden dust illuminate a path towards rest. I take a deep deep breathe And I know I am alive. From this chaos I snatch the beauty from a maggot infested world And I know I am alive. In this moment nothing matters. I leave the giant behind With no hair to let down I step down from my tower. I shake off the rusted chains Free to roam Free to find a home Finally. I am alive.
Category: self-care
Removing the Trash
Dreams still matter and dreams are still important. As many persons get older, moving from childhood to adulthood they stop dreaming. They believe the saying, “dreams are for losers” and begin to do and not dream. But a dream is a cherished aspiration, one that needs to be protected, nurtured and cared for in order to become activated. When we doubt our dreams and declare ourselves unworthy of them, we lose them and find it hard to recover them.
The trash we need to remove are the doubts in our ability and worthiness of having those dreams. When the world seems against our dreams we may start believing that they will never happen. We start becoming a part of the herd and walk right off a cliff. We begin to tell ourselves that we are too ambitious, too desperate or just not good enough to have those things or that thing we have dreamt about. That thing that got us up each morning ready to put with anything, because we knew one day our dream would be realized and then it would all be worth it. We start believing that “dreams are for those who sleep”. But we cannot listen to those fears, naysayers and doubters, especially when they are within.
We have to keep doing, even in the face of zero results. We have to keep chipping away at the rock until we see signs of the promise to be fulfilment, signs that eventual yield a trickle, a spout and then an outpouring. We have to take care of that dream, removing all the pollution, the trash that can stifle and kill it. We have to continue to be imperfect dreamers.
Fear No One
Fear No one Do not be afraid of them because you have the power The power to dear down and destroy To plant and to build. I will give you unlimited power and you shall be called fearless. When disaster strikes from the the North stand firm. When the heathens come knocking on your door ready to penetrate hold fast and hold firm. Then when the think they have won arise and dress and I will give you victory. They may fight and cry like Hyenas ready to tear your flesh but they will not prevail, only their blood curdling cries will keep them warm as they are struck down finally. **************************************************** For I remembered them as lambs \ babes unspoiled. Now from every pore thickened corruption festers and flows. Damaged defeated and denied. They look strong but beneath the surface decay pulses with pus infected sores. Hidden but not healed. They shine with a beauty that sickens when seen in the light. They harvest but in vain for the harvest is done all that remain is the dust of a promise not fulfilled. Behold I have spoken Let them do all the evil they can But as for you - have no fear and fear no one.
Let Go
Maybe like me you can’t sleep at 11:30 in the night. You are right now wondering what to do about it. You have so many things going through your mind: Your mind cannot settle to enjoy the joys of peace. There are so many thinks that have gone wrong, are going wrong and could go wrong. But know at some point, if you want to sleep, if you want the peace you have to let it all go.
Staying up thinking of the worst case scenarios will change nothing. All you can do is live in the moment – and I mean truly live. Not sitting down waiting for the storm to pass, waiting to feel better. Not hoping you can solve the problems of the world – what a world it is. No, you have to let go of the the living nightmare you have inserted yourself in, walk away from self-destructive thoughts, actions or inactions. You have to let go and hold on to the sanity of calmness and fight against self doubt. By admitting that your do not need to be all, have all and know all you find your power. It takes real power of the mind and of the spirit and soul to let go and let things be, including you.
Things and people pass away, whether you are wake or asleep time marches on, people come and go and things change, even in a moment. So let go and do not cling to things that only harm you. Let go and do not make yourself a martyr or a bundle of pulsating nerves to be pitied and spoken about. It is okay to keep going when others choose to stop or are forced to stop. It is okay to be happy even in hard times, to feel gratitude at your bounty in times of scarcity. Let go of the guilt that has cut you down next to nothing and made you frozen in the place you have stood for several years now.
Give yourself the permission to be happy even in grief, to be happy to be alive when death intrudes and reminds you of just how frail you are. Do not long for the acceptance of others or their directions to tell you how to feel, think and act. Be your own director and channel your power from God. Be mindful of your moments and seize them with glee and know when to stop and rest and wait. You know when to let go so listen to that voice inside that tells you to do so, and do not look back. Let go and let God and just rest.
Stay Focused!
“Life is not a fairytale”. We hear this all the time but some of us, as my granny use to say, “head tough”. We constantly fall into the trap of wanting to float away on the cloud of a magical world. We see something and before we start putting in the work we already have it. We stay in the fantasy world day dreaming our lives away. But, we have to stay focused and get our heads out of the cloud. We need to do a check in, be honest with ourselves. Are we truly being honest? Are our expectations just so ridiculous? Living your life waiting for something wonderful to happen is a recipe for disaster. First you have to be realistic about what you can achieve. I know the saying, “do not limit yourself”, but when there are no odds because the expectation is pass unreal, then you have to be smart enough to see this from a mile. Many persons constantly fall in the trap of losing focus and drifting and when they are bitten by the bug of reality, are so heart broken that they give up fold their hands and declare the word a cruel cruel place. But we have to stay focused, we cannot be distracted by the what ifs and those magical clouds that disappear just as quickly as they appear.
Whether it is in seeking a job, a place to live or a partner, we have to stay focused. We have to train our minds to live in the present to look around at where we are and operate based on that knowledge. There is no way that you can take giant steps before the baby ones. So we have to overcome those baby steps and then once we have conquered them move on to working on those giant ones. We cannot let opportunities pass us by and then cry for their loss with our heads tucked down so that we cannot see those opportunities ahead. Whether we want to admit or not, too many of us have done so. Stop looking down, remove the star dusts from your eyes and see clearly what is before you and act based on that. Do not get carried away with what could be and stay there. Get out of your minds eye of remembered images and fogy dreams and make things happen. I don’t mean to suddenly get aphantasia, but make sure you are not living a fantasy 24/7. No one is going to come to transform your life, it starts with you. Stay focused and stay in the reality of your life.
What’s the Silver Lining?
If you do something or try to do something and continually fail, what’s the silver lining? If you do not have a great before and after photo of your life to show the world, why show it? If you do not have a rags to riches story to tell, why tell it?
Well I believe you tell, show and share reality. We have become too comfortable with being fed a feed or a thirty second glimpse into someone’s reality. In many ways because we all love a happy ending, we are good with ignoring the real story and being present in the reality of our situation. However, we need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, with making mistakes, to losing and gaining and gaining and losing. A journey is never smooth, there are bumps along the way, potholes and rest stops that we have to make. As humans we sometimes have to do a complete 180 or even a full 360 before we can see any real improvements. But, it is a part of maturing growing and evolving. There are too many of us who look at the social media life and think that that is all and what we need to aim for – how disappointed we all have been if we think this. We do not want to know the stories, the behind the scenes reels, just the packaged snapshots we are fed.
No one questions too much or considers the reason why, how where or when. We never admit that we fail even when we tell ourselves we will not do so again. We instead tell ourselves that tomorrow will be better but we do not look at our vulnerabilities and accept that they are there. So, Where is the silver lining that everyone looks for when they stop to be inspired and hear that we are still failing? Well, the beauty is that those silver linings are forming under those deep dark clouds.
Breaking the Curse of Analysis Paralysis.
This is a cure for analysis paralysis. This is a look at something that many of us experience but never admit. The first step to changing a bad habit is admitting you have a problem. According to investopedia.com, analysis paralysis refers to a situation in which an individual or group is unable to move forward with a decision as a result of overanalyzing data or overthinking a problem. On the other hand Psychologenie.com defines it as, “an anti-pattern wherein a person over-analyzes or over-thinks upon a situation such that a decision or choice is never made, thus paralyzing the outcome.” In other words analysis paralysis leads to you become unproductive, where even the simplest of decisions become a major internal battle that often ends up with aborted missions.
So, have you been guilty of overthinking a decision to the point of being paralyzed into inaction? If so now you have name for it. You now have the ability and permission to admit that this has been a problem for you in achieving all those things you have wanted to do since forever. Analysis paralysis, may have kept you in a job you hate, a place you no longer wish to be and in a relationship that has reached a dead end. Mostly this problem stem from fear of failure or of doing the wrong thing and that fear has materialized in you doing the wrong thing and failing to do what you could have done a year or more ago.
At this point you may realize that there is indeed a close relationship between analysis paralysis and self-sabotage. Yes, they are in bed together and they are screwing you over. More to the point you are screwing yourself over. Whether deliberately or not by feeding your habit of analysis paralysis you may end up in the opposite place of where you may want to be. A place where time is not your friend and you end up with many regrets.
The first thing we can do for ourselves here is being kind to ourselves. We need to surround ourselves with people who do not enable but who tell us when we have become stagnant and who can help us to face the truth. We all have strengths so we need to identify them and list. So too do we need to list our weaknesses and work steadily at improving them, so we can remedy the curse of analysis paralysis. We need to take time out of our busy and sometimes unproductive days to treat this problem, to focus on what we need to do to not only be productive but to quiet those negative thoughts and those fears that make us paralyzed prisoners in body mind and spirit.
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