Category: Encountering New Experiences

When You’re at the Top, Then What?

It’s a whole new world when you are at the top [cue a whole new world please]! If you are already there congratulation! If not, don’t give up, you will get there. It ‘s only a matter of time. When you do, be happy and celebrate, but proceed with caution. It’s a long way down, if you fall…

It’s not what you can see from the top, but what you cannot.

While you are there, or, before you get there, think about where you want to go from there.

Many belief that once you are at the top of the game, there is no where else for you to go, “hey look fam, I finally made it”. At the top you can either go higher than you had ever imagined going, or, as is most often the case today for many, you can go crashing down where you started or sinking so low, that it is impossible for you to recover. When you reach the top, the show doesn’t end; this is where it gets even more interesting and dangerous!

At the top is where everyone may finally gets to see the real you and you may discover some new things about yourself. It’s easy to become dazzled by the sun or in this case all that glitters. You get so high that your brain stops functioning properly, and you begin to lose sight of the things and people that truly matter in your life.

Being at the top can either reignite your passions, or kill them.

The danger at the top is being tricked into thinking that you are now invincible. You forget that you are human and start believing in your own power to order the world as you please. You have now become a narcissist.When you are that high, what is fake becomes real and what is real has no value to your new image. Having such an outlook can lead not to greater things but ultimately you self destruction; and as hard as you have worked to get where you are, you can lose it all with the stroke of a pen, in the blink of an eye.

Some persons never imagine how easy it is to lose that spot up top, until it is snatched from under them. That lesson for may is too hard and they never recover.


The Authentic self is the soul made visible

Be Authentic

So, sometimes it’s necessary to climb off your mountain top and reconnect with your roots. When you are at the top you may be able to see everything, but you may miss the little details that matter. To truly remain on top you need the humbling experience of being on the ground with everyone else, being your authentic self.

  • Consider the Jamaican proverb:
    The higher the monkey climbs. The more he is exposed. Make sure what is exposed as you climb will be the best that you are; your authentic self

Leaving Desolate Spaces

A wise old owl sat on an oak; The more he saw the less he spoke; The less he spoke the more he heard; Why aren’t we like that wise old bird?” ~Unknown

When 2019 rolled around, I am sure that many of us thought, ‘2019! This will be my year!’ ‘It will be the year when I finally get to do…’, ‘when I finally get to be…

You may need to fortify your defenses in the middle of building yourself

But for a lot of persons, 2019 has so far been a challenging and frustrating year.Many will find the above to be the understatement of the century – thus far – and for many reasons.Right now, many feel out of their element, roaming desolate places like an owl. All we see around us are ruins. The enthusiasm that we started the year with just vanished. Poof, and it’s gone.

We have encountered, sickness, death, stress in all areas of our lives and we now know a side to persons we love and trusted that have left us shocked, disappointed and very angry. As we struggle to regain our focus, we wonder were to turn to rediscover our passion for life and especially our enthusiasm for the year.

It’s hard to be okay when everything seems to be falling a part around you. It’s especially hard being happy when happiness has taken a time out.

In never knowing true defeat be like the owl who stays awake when everyone else is asleep. Always alert, always ready to make the right move; ready to best defeat!

This is where we need to dig deep and be like the wise owl.We need to think about where we are and decide what we want to do. We need to take action at the right time. We need to equip ourselves with only the things that will help us and leave behind people and things that will destroy us. We cannot act out of fear,but in spite of it. We need to think that we have already succeeded before we can claim success.In all of this, we need to change our course when we are heading downstream away from our true path.

Difficult times will always come and yes they also go. What we need to have is the wisdom to conquer those difficult times, by having the right attitude.It is so easy to stay in our desolate spaces, when we are distracted by the negative things that come at us. We need to ensure that our eyes remain fixed on the target we have set for ourselves.

We have to leave those types of spaces in order to find our joy again.


You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, it’s important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages. Michelle Obama
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/view 


	


	
	






	
	

		
	

		
It Takes More Than You…
	


	

		

I am sure that we have often faced the dilemma of, “going it alone”.You may feel you have the mental or physical stamina to do any and everything under the sun.





We begin our ascent to descent when we choose to do everything without help
We begin our ascent to descent when we choose to do everything without help…





We are sure that we can make it all by ourselves  if we are patient and prepared. then as we go along the baggage we carry gets harder and harder to bear. We may stop for awhile to continue later…





Some of us become distracted and fail to continue. Others, eventually continuing, realize that the path ahead is too unfamiliar and we simply wander aimlessly trying to find the way.





We may notice that there are some persons ahead of us and some behind and some just upon us. We allow them to get farther, closer or pass us. we never utter a word until everyone is out of sight.





“No one can say I didn’t do it on my own”.At the same time by doing it alone, we get no closer to our goal; we have not made it.





Maybe this is the perfect time to decide if you really can do it by yourself, if that is necessary or even what you really want to do.





There are days when you really need someone to tell you, “it’s okay, try again tomorrow”, “it’s okay if things do not happen the way you want them to”. To celebrate great and small victories and someone who will be there when you need them. You will definitely (need someone) to help you from going over the edge!





No matter how great we are and how much we have achieved, you can’t do it all. It may take two, three, four or more but you certainly, you can’t do it with just you…






	


	
	






	
	

		
	

		
What You See…
	


	

		

Recently I came face to face with a harsh truth. A lot of times I am not honest about my limitations. I realized, as I thought more about this, that one of the hardest things to do is be completely honest with ourselves. In that moment I could see that it has always been easy to blame others or some thing beyond our control for our situation. What is hard, to the point of being impossible for many, is that often they and not others are the reason why they are where they are;a place they do not want to be and should not have been.





This situation reminds me of the mirror versus the camera dichotomy. Often times when we look in the mirror we feel so much confidence about how we look and feel; this is until  we take a picture…





Take a minute and think about this. When are you more satisfied with your image? when you take a picture or when you look in a mirror?





The thought is that the mirror tends to make us look better than we really are, while the camera gives a more accurate image of ourselves. I know I do not like taking pictures because you have to work really hard, even being contortionists just to get that perfect image!





With the camera its harder to hide your true self. Little imperfections become glaring scars and it highlights how the world sees us and not how we want to be seen.





So what does that mean for us? It means that we cannot always play the victim in our own little melodrama. We cannot always claim the world is against us. We have to be honest that we may not always have an accurate perspective on our situation or others. We can also be problematic, because we refuse to step away from the mirror and look through the lenses of the camera.





Our situation – because we all are guilty – reminds me of a poem by Sylvia  Plath, entitled, Mirror, which unlike the ones we all use, gives back what it gets and is honest about what it sees. When you look at yourself be honest about what is really there and be honest with those around you about how complex you can be…





Mirror
Sylvia Plath
I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
What ever you see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful---
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish. 

	


	
	






	
	

		
	

		
What’s in Your hand?
	


	

		

Many times we focus on what we do not have and we ignore what we do have. We do not take the time to nurture what we have and truly miss the opportunity to really transform our lives and the lives of those around us.





 
Sometimes the “little” that we have carry the greatest reward… 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZlhYZgVMjk





It is a common mistake that we make and we do not realize how much we have cheated ourselves until its too late to really do something about it. It’s too late. Those three little words haunt many.





So what do you have in your hand?





what are the things that you take for granted because you are always hungry for more? 





It could be material possessions, untapped talents or even the people who are always around. Those who keep us going when we do not have the strength to carry ourselves.Those who motivate us when we are paralyzed by fear. Sadly, they are usually the ones we take for granted.





When I think of all the persons who have touched my life in a positive way I feel truly grateful. I think of all the strong black women who have influenced me and I know I have been given a precious gift that money cannot buy. It may sound cliche, but let’s be honest it is the truth.The things that value the most, are the things that carry no price tag.The people who help to make us the best we can be.Those (simple blessings). 





There are many times that we complain of not having enough.But we ignore the stories of those who have less but do not complain; they just get things done. Those who are oppressed but have the mental and physical superhuman strength, to survive abuse of one kind or another and smile laugh and cry but make it through those hard times. Those who walk with death everyday but do not stop living the best they can.





Use what you already have to transform your world. Look at what you have in your hand…

	


	
	






	
	

		
	

		
Just be Still!
	


	

		

 “Being still does not mean don’t move. It means move in peace.” 
― E’yen A. Gardner





I woke with these words in mind, “be still and know that I am God”.





I spent an entire day trying to figure out the message in this, and these words became my companion for the day.





It’s hard for many to be still – well at least for most of us! This inability to remain still and not be active is mission impossible for many. “There is a party that we must attend, things we need to do and achievement medals waiting to be collected!” We do not feel safe with ourselves and our thoughts and so we turn to the noise around us to delay our confrontation with self.We do not trust us to be with us. We turn to various sources, such as social media,reading endless books or watching marathon after marathon on the television, to distract us and entertain us, when we just can’t be bothered.Be still is no fun what so ever.





But there will come a time when it is necessary. A part of being still is being calm and not worrying or overthinking. We lose our calm when we hold on desperately to things that do not benefit us. Whether they be negative emotions or people. In an effort to appease others,  we end up being constantly on edge and trade a peace of mind for a life time of disturbances that quickly wear us out. Eventually, we lose the ability to be aware of what is happening to and around us. We find ourselves in situations that could have been avoided, “If only we had paid attention”. At this point it is too late for us to do anything to change the course of things. Now we have reached the segment in our journey called,”wait and see”…





We need to take charge by being still and letting all the anxious and self deprecating thoughts go. Many of us do not know that there is value in stillness. How it can allow us to let go of unwanted baggage . Letting go is also about being still.When our inactivity is noticed, those who were never really here for us, will slowly wander off to find another host.Someone to give them what they want – which, sorry to say, is no longer you.Lets stop striving for things that are not for us and being with people who are not truly with us; to be at a place were we are not ready or even suppose to be. 





 We waste time moving aimlessly from one experience to the next without meaningful gain. Never knowing how much more rewarding it is, to get off at the bus stop and wait for the right transportation to take us on our journey.





Be still and let go! 

	


	
	






	
	

		
	

		
Fear is the Killer of Dreams
	


	

		

Many people use a dream board or a vision board for inspiration in realizing their dreams. I have always heard of a vision board. Personally, when I first heard of it, and being the true pessimist, the thought of doing one seemed odd and slightly gimmicky. Why waste time to create something to look at? How will this help you to achieve your dreams? Therefore each time I read about or watched videos on creating a vision board I either scoffed or laughed at the very idea of this time wasting activity. Why worry when you have God! Alas, even with God many of us still do not realize our dreams. Instead, we set  aside our faith and embrace fear.





There are many dreams that  have killed along the way. Along with this, the enthusiasm for life is currently on life support, for many. Fear cripples you and can make the strongest among us the weakest. A sure win becomes a devastating loss when we allow fear to control the game.





We maybe afraid to fail, to lose control, to make a mistake, to say something wrong, to be seen in a bad light and so on and so forth. Guess what? All of those things have already happened are happening and will happen. Its impossible to do the right things all the time. Many become their own worst critics and before they even begin the effort they have lost all. Their fear of failure becomes the stone that is wedged in their path, a stumbling block they cannot move.





All we can do is to take that leap of faith.










If we intend to take responsibility for the space we occupy, then we need to defeat fear. We may not always be confident about our choices but we do not have to be paralyzed by a fear that will vanquish our dreams. It may be difficult, but we have to try not to feed into the negative comments, experiences and opinions of other. Dust off those great ideas before someone else takes the credit, make your move and block out fear with an inner confidence in your ability, that will tear down walls and lead to you charting a new course. Take that leap and believe that you will land safely on the other side. After all your faith is your safety net.