For Mrs. J Now is the twilight of my life the shadows overshadow me. A few stubborn rays cling to the gray hairs that adorn my crown. Eighty-nine years. I have travelled far, seen many wonderous sights. Felt life pulsing in, around, between through me. When I cannot see you as you are I see you as you were. What a sight! When the light get's too bright I sink in the shadows and glow with stories of old. Now in my Twilight.
Category: Encountering New Experiences
Black
My power comes from you my strength is hewn from your relentless authority I see myself now as priority. I am important I'm a big deal. I know where I stand on the pinnacle of power that I can command the very devil to disbanned and flee from me. No need to chop nor toe the line I find my peace I know I will not cease in the beauty of your lines and shadows. I am Black.
Believe
I accept what I cannot see touch or feel. I know I don't know but I will go to where ever I should be. I have this dream stars aligned for me I see but not clearly but I know it is for me. I believe...
Home
Where do you go when you don't know where to go but you need to know which why to go? A place to be comforted loved accepted? Where? Should we go?
A Series of Unfortunate Events?
Yes! To freedom I shimmy I glide, plier etendre releve sauter tourney elancer just watch me stride. A puddle in my way? oh no, nothing to stop my shine. Too fast! But the beat... Too high! But the breeze... I squeal! I reach! Pure delight. Midway I freeze... Oh no! my steam! That Je ne sais quoi... Gone. now, how, do I dance with me?
But for the Grace of God
There goes a young boy with spring in his cheeks and the glow of the Sun he sees an old soul going slow not vital enough to make a show sweeps him aside "Old man you must go death awaits!" The old man shakes his head he understands seeing brings the young dread - they too one day - if they survive - will be like him. There is too much pain today and so into the corner he is swept for days on end. Then he goes further up the road - an accident. Slowly he moves closer. Ah it is the young man! His glow now diminshed winter haunts him now He has been brought to an early end: "there but for the grace of God go I"
How Bad Do You Want It?4
“For you are all children of light, children of the day”
“Come here little girl come sit on my lap.”
“So when are you getting a job?”
“Joe me the girl eat nuh. “
“You think it right? This girl nuh have no job for five weeks and we have to feed her, she using up the light, and water. Inna fi we old age.” She doubted fifty-one and fifty-four would be considered old. However, knowing better, she kept quiet.
After this mini-tirade, there was absolute silence. She looked over at her step-father and wondered what happened to that jovial, playful companion she use to know. Instead, she saw before her an overall indulgent pest, who had become the boon of her existence. It seemed as if he had still not recovered from his night out last night and a bout of vomiting this morning. He looked a little green around the mouth and his eyes were still bloodshot.
“cho! raatid man. A your fault enuh man!”
She focused on the whole scene once more to realise that he had spilt the entire jug of drinks on the table, and now it was soaking into her favourite nightie. She sat transfixed as her mother scurried here and there in a vain attempt to mitigate the damage being done by the drinks. With swift and awkward movements Joe got up from his now chaotic domain. He no longer wanted to berate her for her lack of a job, his mind had moved beyond home affairs and his unfocused gaze revealed his new target. The rum bar.
“Listen this is a waste of time, I going road.”
No one responded, Tonya was still cleaning up his mess and Sophie was too familiar with this script to participate.
“The man dem waiting for me, so I will see you later.” and with that, he quickly made his escape. They both could hear the old bottle roar into life, whining and whistling down the road. “The boys”, yeah right. She knew why her step-father was so upset about her not having a job and it had nothing to do with bills. She had heard the argument that her parents had tried to suppress two nights ago. She knew that he wanted more money to floss with his friend. How convenient that he forgot that he was not the breadwinner of this family. She guessed it gave him more time to monitor their finances and devise ways how he and his many female friends could spend her mother’s money. As she watched her mother’s face crumple at his departure, she wondered why she stayed. There was nothing she could see that would attract the most desperate of women. Well, that is unless you were one of his “special female friends”. She had asked her mother why she still stayed and her mother had simply responded that it was, “too late”. A truly sad state of affairs.
“Well now him gone, we can talk”. Was her smile a little forced, her eyes a little too bright? Ah boy, she really did not want to talk but she did not want to hurt her mother’s feelings so she complied.
“Well today was okay nothing special yet, but I have some great leads, yes something good is going to happen, I can feel it, just a little longer”. Maybe if she took up all the space with her words, her mother would get distracted, or bored. But she should have known better.
“But I don’t hear anything specific. What leads? How long? These were questions Sophie could not answer, because she had no leads, except that one attached to her five thousand dollars. No concept of time either. She just wanted to go to bed. She just wanted tomorrow to come and know everything would be alright.
“Well, I have an important meeting tomorrow, but I can’t say much, so after tomorrow I will share everything. Just pray a get the job Mommy”. She hoped that kept her until tomorrow.
“Okay Mesha I will wait but don’t let what Joe say stress yuh, don’t let him frighten yuh.” Well right now her greatest motivation for getting a job was to pay back her student loan, but she also wanted to be on her own. She was tired of feeling like a beggar, like she had overstayed her welcome.
“Okay mommy, I won’t stress but I think I want an early start. So good night.” Before her mother could respond Sophie got up and left. Looking back she saw her mother, a pitiful figure bent looking down and her interwoven fingers. She felt at once connected to her mother for her reassuring presence there yet repulsed by her seeming docility when it came to the terrible treatment of her husband.
In bed Sophie could not sleep. How could she? Tomorrow seemed so far away yet so near. There was not light in the room and as she cracked her window, she realised there was also no moon. Sitting in bed, she wondered if this was a good sign. Maybe it was a new moon, with new beginnings in the horizon. Or it could be a bad omen. She knew she had to get some sleep to be prepared for what was to come. She had to be prepared for what was to come.
