If you have done or said something that you later regret well then we have all been there and done that.
Usually, when this happens the most powerful three letter words are, if I knew. Of course by then it is also too late.
We all experience regret but guess what, it is a negative emotion that we should not dwell on. We can become so consumed by the regrets that we have, that we do not recognize our blessings and worse, do not recognize or accept the opportunities to expand our horizon. We are so traumatized by the one incident that gave birth to a paralyzing sense of regret that become the great stone we cannot remove.
Our sense of regret, at something or somethings that happened in the past, may cause us to want to repent for the rest of our lives. Now that is a sorry state of affairs.
Sometimes when things happen we have to accept the role we played and if needed, make changes that show our growth.
We need to be at that point of no return when we no longer apologize for what we did in the past, because that is no longer who we are. The thing is, we cannot freeze the past and fix it and the present cannot influence the past. All we can do is continue to life the live we have been given, the best we know how at the stage we are at.
The point of no return can seem ominous based on the situation you are faced with. However, it can be the opportunity you need, that we need, to break free from the regrets of the pas,t to find, that being at this point can only make us stronger; it’s at this point that we either sink or swim.
Have you ever said to yourself: if only I had the willpower I would be so awesome, or I would be unstoppable!
However, we deem ourselves to be a bit short on willpower and declare ourselves too lazy, unfit, not smart enough, strong enough, patient enough or generally good enough to make the sacrifices needed to get over the hump, to the other side.
The American Psychology Association notes a 2011 Stress in America Survey, where 27 percent of respondents identified a lack of willpower as a barrier to change.
I recently had a terrible time health-wise and I realized that it was because I had done everything in my power to sustain bad habits. I ate things that made me feel sick because I loved eating them and each time I told myself, this was the last time. Until the next time came around and the cycle was repeated.
The article from The American Psychology Association identified willpower as the, ability to resist short-term temptation in order to meet long term goals. But I am sure all of us at some point have given into the temptation to do something that ended up making our situation worse than what it should have been. So, where willpower is concerned we have failed from time to time. But failing to have the willpower to do or not do something should not be the thing that makes us failures.
While many persons fail to remain disciplined while working towards a goal, remain hopeful that they will get back on track and continue to move towards it. I certainly have learned from my recent experience and I am doing everything in my power to stay the course. The greatest motivation for me is the knowledge of knowing what I could lose and the reward waiting on the other side – making poor choices is no fun.
The there is also the case where things happen that can undermine your ‘iron clad willpower’. Our mood, belief, and expectations may change and therefore undermine or improve our willpower. Also, the people we hang around may determine how committed we remain to our goals. So, basically our ability to develop and maintain our willpower can be determined by outside influences that may or may not be within our control.
The important thing to remember, is that we all have free will and willpower comes from this. Once we have the will there really is a way. It is never impossible to achieve good things, first we must know what we want and next, be determined to get it. In other words, to get what we want and to get where we want to be will take willpower and a good dose of divine influence.
Today is the first day of the last year! And I know many of us are looking forward to this end. It’s time to get ready to end the year with a bang – and it takes all 31 days people.
For many 2019 has been good and bad in many many ways. There are some who will say that in all honesty, it has been a difficult year in many ways. I’m not saying that it was all bad, but, when you put it all together it has been a year filled with many challenges.
So we – maybe out of desperate optimism – believe that because it is nearing the end of the year, come 2020 all our struggles will disappear, like magic. We believe that awesome things MUST replace all the difficulties that we have experienced. Well I bet you felt that way at the end of 2018.
2019 is gonna be the best year ever! Until it wasn’t.
Sorry I hate to break this to you – well not really – live doesn’t work like that. Things don’t change because it’s a new day, month or year. The baggage that we carried throughout the year, can still weigh us down next year.
If we want to get rid of some of the things that we know we don’t need to carry, we should do exactly that; get rid of it. While you get distracted by the revelry, and good cheer of the season remember to keep in mind the need to start working on improving things in 2020 – if you have not done so yet. While it is the beginning of the end for 2019, make sure you’re getting ready to face 2020.
And finally, remember that advent begins today and ends on Christmas Eve; use these four weeks to focus on what will help keep you grounded in the coming year: faithfulness(peace), hope, joy and love!
Many will say that Boxer in, Animal Farm by George Orwell, has many admirable qualities that we aspire to have. He is loyal, kind-hearted, hard-working and always willing to go above and beyond the call of duty – an enigma for too many of us. It is also important to mention that the story also acts as a political allegory about revolution and power and those impacted by such events. Specifically, it’s an allegory of the Russian Revolution from 1917-1923. This revolution has been described as a violent one (Bloody Sunday Massacre of 1905), which saw the end of imperial rule and the beginning of Communist rule and the formation of the soviet union.
What starts off in Animal Farm as a successful uprising and promise of a better future losses momentum with the replacement of the old, (Old Major), with the new (Napoleon and his minions). Things quickly go sour as the pigs, in a position of power, manipulate the legacy of Old Major (Animalism), to control the other animals, while solidifying their power and wealth.
And this is where we bring in Boxer…
I was talking to a friend of mine about working hard at whatever we do, and he mentioned Boxer; ” yuh remember what happened to Boxer, from Animal Farm? Dem tun him inna glue!”
Yes Boxer played a vital role in the development of the farm in its new era. His indomitable spirit inspired the other animals when their fortunes changed and he worked relentlessly for the good of the farm. But at what cost?
Instead of receiving trophies, incentives and other accolades for his effort, and retiring in bliss, he is sold off to be made into glue when he is of no more use! His worth? Whiskey for Napoleon and the other pigs! All that he receives is the title of hard worker, “he was a true hard worker”. He was loyal to a fault and though he was the strongest animal on the farm, he used his strength to serve those who exploited him and not to improve the conditions of the other animals facing the same exploitation. The worse part was that when something went wrong he always blamed himself and vowed to work harder. He had become too use to taking orders, to trying to get things right and always being obedient and never disobedient.
Sometimes we think we are acting independently and never realize that we have been programmed to follow a path created for us; the mind has been programmed.
So, the lasting image of Boxer is his effort to make the mill:
To see him toiling up the slope inch by inch, his breath coming fast, the tips of his hoofs clawing at the ground, and his great sides matted with sweat, filled everyone with admiration…
Then again, it could be for me the most tragic scene in the book. This is when Boxer taken away to be slaughtered; for Boxer it is the last time we will see or hear him…
…Although the animals warn him, it is too late. Boxer is already loaded into and locked in the truck for the glue factory. His strength is compromised by his failing health. His desperation is apparent by the sound of “tremendous drumming of hoofs inside the van, but he is too weak to break free.
There are many lesson here:
Be careful who you trust they may take advantage of you!
Never follow anyone blindly, even your friends.
Even the best of us can be controlled and manipulated if we let it happen to us.
Know your worth and never compromise.
Make your own path and lead the way.
Make your dreams a reality and don’t die on someone else’s
Be the best you can be but never be someone’s ladder.
Know and embrace your limitations and never see them as a negative but as a reminder that you will never be unemployed because you’re always working on yourself!
And many more if we think hard enough.
I read Animal Farm when I was fourteen years old and I was so inspired by the revolution carried by the animals, brought to tears by the sacrifice and ill-treatment of Boxer and the other animals. Saddened by the anti-climatic nature of the revolution’s aftermath, especially after Old Major’s death. Angered by the greedy, heartless and corrupt pigs – a suitable animal for such a role! And the really sad truth that there are people who lie, deceive and undermine those who for whatever reason find themselves at a disadvantage. Also, there are many who trust too much, give too much and receive very little or nothing in return, just like Boxer. Their lives become tragic.
Although Boxer had the ability to be an inspiring hero, in this story he is a tragic- hero figure; one to be pitied and pointed at,
“that is what not to do!”
Life teaches hard lessons, never be too gullible to learn them, and learn them well.
It is better to have a lesser yet certain advantage at something, than the possibility of a greater one that may come to nothing.
akatheversatile.com
Originally, the English proverb above came from the medieval falconry which loosely means that a falcon was worth more than the prey . Etymologically, the expression was first used in the 15th century and then the 13th century Latin expression : Plus valet manibus avis unica quam dupla silvis ( using wood instead of bush). There is also evidence of a similar expression in the 6th century B.C.E of Near Eastern Origin, proverbs of Ahiquar:a sparrow in thy hand is better than a thousand sparrows flying. But is this necessarily true?
It is a proverb I have heard all my life but I am now thinking about it seriously. If we were to think of it, is it always best to hold on to what you have instead of trying for something better? We have to be grateful for what we have, but do we have to always be satisfied with it? What we need to ask is how valuable is the bird in hand versus what we may be chasing.
Those things that you do not have that you desire how real are they? Many persons now are kind of pretenders – there are some serious catfishing taking place. We see what they want us to see and bam! We are convinced that we have to be them, have what they have and do what they do. So we end up looking at ourselves and our lives and we are bitterly disappointed and just like that we hate what we have achieved – not enough, what we are – lacking in every area!
We don’t realize that we have much more than those we envy, until we lose it.
While it’s good to strive for more, make sure it’s because you are following a path that is true to who you are and what you believe. This is when you will get what belongs to you, and you will know this because as my granny use to say:
Wat is fi yuh cyaa be un fi yuh”. Meaning –What is yours will always be yours.
Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
― C.G. Jung
I don’t like when people are selfish but I have acted selfishly. I can’t tolerate hypocrites, but I cringe when I realize that I have said something hypocritical. Being self-aware, what does this mean?
Before I decided to look more on this, I did not know there was a self-awareness theory – there seems to be one for every thing under the sun. Well, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, a very basic definition involves, knowing and understanding yourself very well. However, in Social Psychology, self-awareness is when: “people can think, act and experience and when they can think about what they are thinking, doing and experiencing” (Encyclopedia.com). For Shelly Duval and Robert Wicklunds their theory of self-awareness focuses on how the self can lead to self-evaluation , using as their measuring stick, “standards of correctness that specify how the self ought to think, feel and behave” (Encyclopedia.com). Therefore, being self-aware is seen as crucial for ones sense of self-control. So, being self-aware is a ticket to controlling those things about yourself that you wish you could carve out and throw away forever.
But there is a crisis here, you can become too self-aware, according to the experts. It can make your impression of yourself become distorted – well you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But here is what I am interested in highlighting, we need to try and be aware of and be honest about our intentions when we do and say something. Instead of focusing on what others are doing and trying to come to a conclusion on people’s motives, we need to wisely use the time to assess ourselves. Yes the world is terrible, because there are some terrible people living here, but do we contribute to this terror without realizing it? Are we aware when we judge and condemn others while doing the same things, or do we really care?
Do we know how to navigate the public self-awareness that we have? When we change our behavior to suit others who are we really fooling, them or ourselves? When we become worried about things about ourselves we cannot change, all because we fear the impression we will leave others with, all because of a “preference” that we do not meet, we will suffer the most, them or us? When we change so much that it really makes sense to go with a whole new name, who becomes the victim? The ones we try to please? I don’t think so.
Sometimes in order not to become the things we speak against, we have to look within and erase the trace matters that exist ready to take control of the me we need to be.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11: 29
I have noticed that often times many persons who for whatever reason are placed together will claim that they are united. However, when you take a closer look you realise that this “closeness” is just pretend.
I have seen too many cases where persons will smile and support you publicly and then tear down privately. I think many of us need to look more at the idea of being yoked to each other, to make our burdens light.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart; and you will find rest. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light
Matthew 11:25-30
In the verses above, Jesus makes this call to all those who are weary and burdened, but do we try, in our own way, to lighten each others’ burden?
In agriculture a yoke is a device used to link two or more animals together for greater strength when ploughing the land. There, we need to see ourselves as being yoked to each other, knowing that we succeed together because we support each other.
At one point when I was younger I wanted to live on an island – it seems no one could be trusted and everyone was a great source of unhappiness. On my little island I would not have anyone to compare myself to and I could truly be free and most importantly I would have my own space -apparently having plenty space has always been an obsession of mine. however, as I could older I realized that my island would be lonely and that despite all the trouble they gave me, I would miss my family. I also realized that there some great people I would miss on my island. People who came and some left who helped me to make me better and just genuinely happy. I could frolic and play by myself, but eventually I would get bored just my own company.
Now, this yoke business may seem extreme for someone who loves space and freedom but the yoke reminds us that in this world we cannot live only for ourselves. While a yoke can be attached to one animal the level of work that can be done depends on how many carry the work. It can also teach us how to be disciplined, that when things seem impossible instead of giving up we dig deeper for the reserve we have to get us through any situation. Further, a yoke may have two animals at different levels of maturity, enabling one to learn from the other. however the support provided by both is equally beneficial to the overall success of the enterprise. It is a concept we need to practice in order to fully support each other with the knowledge and expertise gained.
Though we have the support of God, we still need to be genuinely supportive of each other; to encourage each other to be strong and hopeful. It only takes a word or a small act to do so.
ramblrWrites.com 