Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
Isaiah 43:18
Don’t wait for a new week, a new day or the new year to start making changes. You know what you want and you know how to get it!
There are a lot of things in the past that in the past I have been stuck on. Sometimes I look back and which I could go back to make some tweaks here and there. Perhaps prevent a certain meeting or totally erase another. If only I could.
But sadly there is nothing we can do about what we have already done. But wouldn’t life be easy in the present if we could?
We will never know because it is impossible. While we focus on the past, our present is passing. There it is waving at us. It looks sorry for us- as it should, what a waste of a present!
Yes the present is a gift that will keep giving if we remain fully committed to it. Yet, many of us are careless with it and are either looking behind or ahead, but never living in the present.
We hurry to do everything and then wonder where the time went. We hope that one day we can get to live in the present. However it has been there all along, slipping between our fingers until very little is left to enjoy.
It’s important to remember what matters, let go of what is keeping you from holding to the present that you have for as long as you have it.
Do you get really anxious when the subject of the time you have to do all you want to do comes up?
It’s not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it. Life is long enough, and it’s been given to us in generous measure for accomplishing the greatest things, if the whole of it is well invested. But when life is squandered through soft and careless living, and when it’s spent on no worthwhile pursuit, death finally presses and we realize that the life which we didn’t notice passing has passed away.
If there was a great deal of truth in the words of Seneca, a Roman Stoic Philosopher, then the last part would be darkly humorous. Imagine complaining about something only to realize when you’re losing it that you had it all along but was too blind to see it for what it was. Oh the irony! And yet many of us are quite easily going down this truly ironic path. Life is too short! This is the cry of most.
Time is too short!
There aren’t enough hours in the day to everything that I want to do and accomplish!
The ironies of ironies is that those who cry, moan and complain about the shortness of time and therefore life, are the biggest procrastinators. Again of this I and many many more are guilty. I think we would be hard pressed to deny this. So we waste time, then complain that we did not have enough of it to do all that we wanted or were meant to do. Sounds about right!
So Seneca encourages us not to waste time complaining about the limited time we have to live our lives but to maximize it so we live purpose driven lives that lead to happiness contentment and NOT regret. In his essay, The Shortness of Life, he gives specific ways in which we waste time. Now do these sound familiar?
We waste time by:
Chasing wealth or what he terms, voracious avarice (sound nice to say too! Say it with me, Voracious Avarice)
Pursuing things that do not benefit us and that lead to very little meaningful returns.
Drinking and getting drunk, smoking, partying. Generally seeing live as a 24 hours happy hour event.
Trying to be at the top of the totem pole. Generally trying to win popularity contests as we seek to ambitiously get ahead.
Either try to conquer others or being anxious about being conquered.
Trying to please those above us in order to be in their good graces. Even though that won’t to where we want to be. But we are too blind to see this, until it is too late. Oops, time’s up!
Not really having a plan or as he puts it: Some have no goal at all toward which to steer their course, but death takes them by surprise as they gape and yawn (YIKES!)
Now honestly which have you been guilty of?
He goes further in his writing to bemoan our shortsightedness in allowing distractions (vices) that take us off track and prevent us from using the time we have in a more responsible way. The good news is that all of us are screwed! The rich, and seemingly most “successful” among us, are also capable of falling into this trap. Clearly he was not partial in his assessment. He further writes of our very human need to attain recognition from others, even while we do not take time to look at ourselves, and recognize our worth, but expect others to do so. Another serious crime committed by us all is the fact that too many people allow others to “trespass on their existence” – attention everyone, do not allow instances where others control your lives while here on this earth! These are things that we need to hear; it’s not that others are wasting your time, but you are allowing them to do so.
Interestingly, he notes the importance of reflecting on the past for self-assessment and for not repeating the errors once made. Sometimes we refuse to look too closely at things we have done because we know that we do not come out looking good! We would rather stay in the present, thank you very much, to worry more about our future. It is handy to remember that our past informs our present condition and plays a role in our future state.
Finally, one of the most dangerous and most destructive crimes we commit , is the fine art of being busy doing absolutely nothing. While he believed in the importance of pursuing philosophical truths, Seneca did not approve of people who really did things that had no true value on the quality of their lives or the lives of others. All those meaningless activities just to kill time (pun intended) really are our Achilles’ heel, in making the most of what we have.
Seneca ends with zero sympathy, and exposes those who waste time preparing for death and their post-life image, instead of enjoying the time they have in the land of the living and makes it clear that such persons are not worth our time:
some people even make arrangements for things beyond life — huge tomb structures, dedications of public buildings, gladiatorial shows for the funeral, and ostentatious funeral processions. Yet in truth, the funerals of such people should be conducted by the light of torches and wax tapers, as if they’d lived for the briefest span.
Seneca obviously did not mince his words!
And so I end with a word to the wise among us, ensure you use the time you have to do the things that matter most to you. Things that enrich your life while you have it. That’s the only way to show that you truly appreciate the life you were given. After all, you only live once!
There are many ways in which we can take the things that happen to us. We can freak out, get mad or stay sad, forever. It’s easier to develop a particular attitude, depending on what we think mostly happens to us. So things are great, life is great! Then disaster strikes and life is so unfair and then it becomes real rough staying above water. When we face difficulties that seem like a great epic – when will it end – we often say we are going through something. When we use that phrase, going through, then what we are really saying is that we are, at that moment, experiencing something unpleasant or difficult. But we never consider how that phrase reveals our inability to see the value of the experience. We only know that things are not going the way we want them to go! We become so consumed by the present situation that we forget that this thing is only for a moment and like everything else, will eventually pass…
our bodies are constantly in the river of change and transformation
Deepak Chopra
If we decide instead to grow through what we experience, then we go through the most difficult times stronger than we were before. We can come out on the other side better than we were.When we grow we magnify the potential locked within us and can not only tell the tale, but become an example to others that anything is possible, if we remain optimistic in the face of great adversities. We have to accept and allow the hard seasons in life to be our teacher; we can learn so much about ourselves, people and the things around us. So the next time you go through something, remember to practice your smile and laughter for the happiness to come.
I recently came across this prayer and realized that it was a very popular prayer – yes I am currently living under a rock – that is prayed by people across the globe. Also, I have learned that this is a very powerful prayer and that those who testify concerning it, recount how their lives have been transformed by it.
Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory!
People spoke of receiving mighty things from God when they pray this prayer. Now if we are honest when we think of receiving mighty things and God in the same sentence, material things may feature in the mix. However, for me enlarging my territory also involves the idea of making one more aware of themselves and the world around them. It means being more insightful of situations and people we come in contact with. It’s not just about getting what you want but getting what you need to be a more informed and aware individual. To be wise enough, humble enough, patient enough and having enough love to have a positive influence. God wants you to reach and stretch beyond anything that you could imagine for yourself. God can provide more than you can ever imagine – no matter how active that imagination!
Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.
For me this part of the prayer offers much comfort when faced with very trying circumstances. If we rely on a power greater than, ourselves then we are already winners against all the obstacles we may face. But also, God granted Jabez what he requested because he was an honourable man. It was not because he prayed ceaselessly and then did whatever he felt like doing. No, he was honourable, he had the right attitude – many of us have allowed our lives to be filled with too much negativity that comes from our thoughts and action and do not realize that that is what is stopping us from succeeding. It’s nobody’s fault when we stand in the way of our own blessings, because of a stinky attitude! It also important to be aware that you can be your own enemy and with spiritual discernment you can remove negative people from your space.
And God granted his request.
Here I am reminded to be careful what I ask for. Be very specific in prayer and be willing to accept that what you want will be granted. Granted we may not always be asking for the right things and we know when we are not, but refuse to admit it to ourselves, but God knows! Make sure what you pray for aligns with who you are praying to.
So, next time you pray the Jabez prayer, make sure to remember it goes much deeper and wider than the small mention it gets in the bible. And I will do the same!
If you take yourself seriously you will be offended the rest of your life
Deepak Chopra
Imagine if you lived a life that was totally free from worry about what others think and say about you? What if we did not what for things or people to make us happy? What if we try to find our own joy?
I say easier said than done!
When someone looks your way or seem to, you begin to wonder what they see when they look at you and then a full blown script has been written and performed in your brain because you just don’t know how to take being criticized. I can say that because sadly I have been doing a lot of this lately.
You are at the mercy of every stranger you meet on the street, if they say something nice you’re flattered for the rest of your life and if they say something nasty, you’re offended for the rest of your life.
Deepak Chopra
Sadly again we become so fixated on getting approval from others that we deny that we are doing it when we do it! Many – not all- cannot relax in any situation because our sense of well being is too dependent on how people react to us. We depend on the approval of others like how a drug addict depends on drugs to get a high. If the reaction is good we are on cloud nine but if it’s bad we are hang out limbo, waiting to see if we can redeem ourselves in the eyes of those who just rejected us.
So let us make a conscious effort not to take things so seriously, after all we are all playing with the hand that we were dealt. Many people dish out exactly what they see of themselves. So often it’s less about us and more about them. None of us are perfect, so really there is no perfect answer to any question or solution to a problem. Just do you, live your best life because there is nothing else you can do. Just put one foot forward and go about your day.
When people Show you who they are. Why don’t you believe them?
Maya Angelou
Bigger Than You.
Just Listen
Why are you mad?
why are you getting heated?
This was never about you
why are you waiting?
Standing there by yourself
No one told you to
No one expected that of you.
I’m lazy
So what?
This ain’t about you.
you’re scared?
I frighten you?
Miss
Who told you it was your fear to carry?
Why are you still here?
I thought you left
A long time ago.
Okay stay there.
Wait.
Stand there.
Expect more than you were promised.
If you want to wait
for the hundredth time
that’s your problem.
The poem above sums up the idea of how misguided we can be – more often than not. we project our secret hopes, desires and wishes on people and white wash their true character. We blame others for our unhappiness and disappointments. Personally, I believe that this is too much power to give another person over your live. Yet we continuously do so, needing to learn the lesson over and over – but never benefiting from it.
It’s dangerous to depend on others to make you happy and to make life worthwhile. The danger lies in the fact that you can actually create that person from your imagination and place this ideal in front of who they truly are. it is dangerous when you blindly follow that image to the detriment of your own peace of mind and even life! We feel compelled to give others the benefit of the doubt, even if it kills us. Quite literally. It becomes dangerous when we see the person for who they are but still insist on perusing that image. However, at this point it is no longer their problem, but solely ours.
Having faith and trusting in people is good. But this does not mean that we should abandon all common sense. There is something also very narcissistic in expecting others to be a certain way, the way you envision, “just for me“. In thinking that we have that special something that will compel them to believe that what has been working for them, is of no more value to them. The person who proclaims him or herself as being something specific, means that they genuinely believe it. It means that they accept and will always strive to be that way, no matter what others may say or think. It is not just that the person has a warped notion of self, but that they have self-determined who they are.
Believe them, do not make any excuse for them. Accept that not everyone will be the way you want them to be. Their words and actions are powerful because it shapes who they are. Accept that they sincerely know more about who they are, enough to clearly express it. Believe in their words and take comfort in their actions. And if it does not align with your vision, move along and be content in your disappointment.
Storytelling is the conveying of events in words, and images, often by improvisation or embellishment. Stories or narratives have been shared in every culture as a means of entertainment, education, cultural preservation, and to instill moral values.
definitions.net
The least we can do is to try to understand the story of another and if you can’t understand do not deny it.
Unknown
We hear and tell stories everyday. No matter where we are, but at least once per day, we recount some incident we experienced to someone. Sometimes theses stories end up being fantastic tales, because something wildly unexpected and exciting happens. Whether it is an accident, a disagreement that got out of control, a funny incident or not so funny one, but something dramatic that can make your day a memorable one.
Then we may find ourselves in a situation where we have to use an experience from out past or from someone else’s past, to make a point and perhaps inspire someone. We gladly share, because our intent is that these stories will change lives. And sometimes, in the act of sharing our stories or someone else’s, we are reminded of what we are capable of. So, our stories not only inspire others but we are also inspired by it. Stories matter and the telling of them matters greatly.
Then, there are stories that we dare not tell, no matter the audience. These are stories that will be misunderstood and rejected by listeners. These are stories that may not be fit for public scrutiny -depending again on who is listening. It may be because of where we come from, how they are told and who is doing the telling. When your story challenges the status quo, then it becomes harder for it to be heard and you feel as if your story does not matter. But somewhere out there is someone who needs your story, so they too can have the courage to tell their own.
When you tell your story, those who hear become witnesses to that story. Stories are not limited to renown writers; millions of potential stories are crafted everyday by people living their unique situation and are waiting simply for the instrument through which they will be given life, to enter the lives of people who need them and who they need, to keep alive a part of you after you are no longer hear to do the telling. These stories live and never die, when those bearing witness, listen without judgement, without adhering to previously held prejudices and who in the process, restore dignity where lost and the power to simple be what it is and not what others would want it to be. Every story does not have to be our individual or collective realities but every story needs to be told.
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