Category: Random Thoughts

Daydreaming Away Reality

People tell you that when you get older you need to live in the “Real World”. You need to live in REALITY. What if you cannot cope in the real world? what then? Many of us turn to daydreaming and away from living in the harsh light of the NOW because we need an escape. For a moment or some moments, we can envision everything we lack in the reality that is our lives. We can say what we always wanted to say to the people who seem too large and too terrifying in our lives. In the reality of our dreams, we can vanquish our enemies, solve our problems, conquering fears too frightening to give voice to. We can be clean when we have become corrupted by mistakes, ill-advised actions or wayward thoughts. It is a comforting place. Until you are dragged back to everything you vanquished in your mind. you have to, you need to, you must. Anxiety-inducing thoughts that seem to follow you until you lock it out with the door of your imagination.

But those menacing enemies, worries and fears linger in the woods of reality waiting to pounce when you emerge from your castle of dreams. So you find yourself staying more often in your castle refusing to be confronted by these monsters in the woods. Then, you are not satisfied with leaving and returning but feel the need to stay and build the castle wall higher and higher until reality does not exist only your dreams…Is real life worth coming back to?

There are many articles on how maladaptive daydreaming is dangerous yet many still and will part take. The thing is, many people will daydream but not everyone will be negatively affected by the act of daydreaming. Immersive daydreaming has been recognised as harmless once it does not interfere with our day-to-day lives. We all need a little escape from our present circumstances from time to time, but do we want to live more in the real world or be enchanted by our dreams? Where are you right now in 2025? Has your daydreaming gone over the edge to maladaptive or are you able to pull back leave your castle face those monsters and win?

Time

Before, there was time to see and do all the things dem. Time was plenty, plenty and well generous – even nuff. Too much time and like water from a broken pipe spill and thrill into the dirt, It was wet and you felt blessed. Then, time crept and crawled up the wall away from you, and then you wondered, When did it go? It felt good to have time under your feet and feel free to be whatever you wanted. You could sit still for a while and several hours after it was still daylight. Them times Time stretched far and wide, a speck that could not be contained. So, you start feeling yourself and forget to do all the tests and the rest. “Man look here, you have time”.

But time is a clever one, he is a knowing one and he play with you and then turn lose on you then trap you. At those times, he dances around you and spin your head too and then make you forget, outside of you he is limitless but in you it is limited. Then when you stop spin and you are sinking he runs further from you, away from your dreams and your waiting.

instead you are left with his essence no longer blessed with his presence. What should you do? Will you sit and mourn because he wont come back, that young man is gone and so too is your youth. You see, he was interwoven with you but you took him for granted and when you wanted him, he did not want you. Now what shall we do? We have to let him go and sun bath at sun down.

For Everything there is a Season

Dear You,

This year has already been the hardest year of my life, and it is just coming to the end of March! Right now I feel like I am being crushed on every side. I had to make the decision to move from where I lived suddenly because it was no longer serving me. Great wonderful, with God’s grace and the determination of a friend I moved with her into a really nice flat. Comfortable, nice. Yes, this is life! I felt a little freer, so I got cosy.

Then wham, work troubles. I cannot do anything right all my decisions are poor and I walk around with egg permanently on my face, yolk dripping on the floor. Okay. This is a new experience. My brain felt fuzzy I walked in a daze. I need to fix my face, permanently stitched in terror of what happens each day. “You can do this girl, God’s got you” – weekend prep talk leading into Monday morning blues. I swear every day I gonna resign. But, I have to keep holding on. Each period of the day was a struggle of wading through the Sargasso sea, with no life jacket, just God and me. Well, isn’t this nice, it seems this is the price to dear step out. Okay, let’s try again. Another day, the struggle is real, and things blow up in my face. Oh, maybe this will become a cake. Let us carry on at least I can see. Well now, look at this! It is a nail and let’s look over there, a coffin! I try to edge away from both. Then I trip. I now have the privilege of rest in waiting. All that work, all that effort snatched and frozen just out of reach, at lightning speed.

This year has been so hard, I don’t know how or where to begin. I think I will start with, I am alive. Therefore it must mean that God ain’t finished with me, so I go. But, I think too many things are now on my face, weighty things, burdensome things, I cannot see the way. I have been beaten into admitting humility and gratitude. Thank you, Lord, for this lesson. It has been painful, and the price may be heavy but thankfully the cost will yield favourable returns. They say every lesson is a blessing and now as I sit waiting on God oh, I believe it. I know I have had to wrestle with keeping myself, myself. In the process, I am shedding those parts that do not serve me, but the shedding is painful, the shedding is constant. In the process, I have to find my voice respectfully, speak my truth don’t kiss ass (pardon my Latin), like it or limp it. It has been so hard, but praise God it will get better soon…

Yours dearly,

Kim

From Cold Col’ Inglan’

Sis… We need to let it go!

She has always felt not quite right where she was planted. Yes, she grew but not as tall as she wanted to. Yes, she spread wide, but not as wide enough to touch the universe and come back to herself. Yes, she laid down roots, but they were shallow, not deep or strong enough to withstand the storms. And so she left. She slowly and painfully pulled up those roots. She folded herself tight enough to fit on that ship. She hid her colours to blend into the atmosphere of her despair and she left. She left because she felt if she stayed one more day, she would die. Her beauty would shrivel like a dried-out meat and die. It was not easy for her to leave. Several times she fainted, was revived and fainted again. It was a process. She nearly did not make it. But God!

She made it. She was strong. She stepped off that ship because she made it. Immediately something felt as if it was missing. She walked the streets, looking for a bed to rest her head and she knew something was missing. But how sway? She had been through so much to get here? She had sacrificed her peace of mind to find her peace. Now, here she was in a new place, looking for the familiars. The environment was not “envionmenting” for her, it did not give her the spark of joy that she needed and so she stopped. She stopped because she could see a new challenge on the way. Which way was the right way? She looked back and knew she could not. She could not go back. But to go ahead was uncertain. What would she do if she failed? Who could she turn to? What would become of her yet unfulfilled dreams? What was there outside of herself that she could turn to?

Do you know, you can travel halfway around the world trying to realise your new and still feel imprisoned by your old? Physically escaping the place of your trauma or traumas is one thing but emotionally and psychologically you can still be held captive by them because you have not truly let go of them. And even if God creates the right atmosphere and environment for you to grow and flourish, if He sends the right people, if you do not participate in all the things he prepares for you it will come to nothing. Opportunities are great and new experiences are encouraged but make sure they are not mixed with the refuse from your life that should have been disposed of a long time ago. So, we can move to the ends of the earth but we cannot escape our problems but, we can rely on God for direction. For pruning when we need pruning and for renewal when we are dry and thirsty for the encouragement we need, there must be a constant connection with God. I am not talking about friends and family, they are important. However, I have come to realise that only God can give peace, encouragement and confidence needed to thrive wherever you are planted.

We need to stop thinking we can operate outside the will of God. We need God even when we’ve made it because we made it to a point and there are many more steps to go. As- a -matter -of -fact we never reach our goal steps in life, we have to keep meeting and setting new steps. In all this stepping and goal making we need to abide in God so He can abide in us.: If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you[a] will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you (John 15:7). Challenges will come, no matter where we are and what we are doing but we hope in Christ and not the things we gain here on earth. We therefore need to remember that all that we do must be done consulting with God seeking Him and heeding His will for our lives. It can be hard but not impossible. If we do not rely on God for everything we become vulnerable to anything, we accept any standard outside of ourselves and God’s purpose. We may forget that we are not powerless and begin to believe that we need things outside of ourselves to truly measure our worth. Let us not allow ourselves to be cast into the fire and burned but let us bear much fruit by abiding in God. Let us bloom, not because we did it, but because we did it with Christ as our gardener.

There was nothing outside of herself. All that she needed she was already equipped with. She had the Sipirt of her gardener ready to instruct her and guide her to her success. She would not die, she knew this. She had just forgotten because where she came from was so filled with light, that she was momentarily disoriented by the darkness and dampness of this new place. She remembered that power was within and had never left her and her source was the Comforter. So, she began to move again but now with renewed purpose. She had all she needed to go anywhere, take root and bloom

It’s Not Yourself You Doubt…It’s God

There I am giving myself a pep talk for the hundredth time, “Come on, stop doubting yourself.” Then an epiphany, it’s not myself I doubt, it’s God.

I seem to have often lost sight of God in the confusion of trying to find myself – ironic. What is that even about? I have noticed that it is hard to know yourself when you don’t trust yourself to do anything without making a mistake or outright failing. What I know, then becomes covered by failings and regrets. So, I don’t trust myselves to do the simple things, for I see potential failure in every action. But there is something even more sinister at play. When I doubt myself it’s because I am using myself as a scapegoat. Yes, that was the true epiphany, behind the self-disgust and self-criticism is the sad truth, I don’t trust God to fulfil His promises to me.

What are the Promises of God?

God has promised to strengthen us when we are weak. However, many people become weak because they forget this promise or don’t believe it. It can seem impossible to believe in the middle of a challenging situation. God has also promised to take care of all our needs. Yet, we often doubt how we will receive the things we need and how we can accomplish certain tasks. We forget that God has already promised to take care of our needs. When we fail to get what we need, we blame ourselves for not being enough, not being smart enough, or not being resourceful enough. However, we fail to acknowledge that we have totally ignored the promise from God to take care of all our needs. Then we pray for God to help us and then turn to unqualified, ill-equiped persons just like ourselves forgetting that we have to wait. We do not wait for an answer but proceed to answer our own prayer to God in a timeline that suits our desires and not the desires of God. God promises to work everything out for our good, yet we get disappointed when we don’t get the job, or end up where we don’t want to be. We feel that there was something we could have done to make things happen in the way we think they should happen. We are not thankful for the rejections, for the nos and for the delays. Really we get mad at ourselves for not being enough. The sad truth is we don’t trust God to know what is best and just leave it all to Him. He promises to be with us and to protect us but we never remember this when we feel alone, we wonder what’s wrong with us, why we have no friends and we try to mould ourselves into people pleasers to keep those who were never meant to stay with us around. We are not confident that God can take care of us, so we worry about everything and everyone and never venture beyond what we can see and understand. Then there is the promise of freedom from sin. Here we feel our sins can never be forgiven no matter what because they are so bad, so unforgivable, even though God already promises through His words, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed (John 8: 34-36). We are keeping ourselves shackled to our sins by not believing that we are free of them through Jesus Christ. And because of these doubts, we lack the peace that comes from God. We cannot find it in exercise, yoga, motivational quotes or daily affirmations but in the word of God, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:26–27).

Now, the safest way to combat your doubts is to live in the word of God. I have been guilty of skimming and not living in God’s word to my detriment. It can seem hard to daily turn to the word of God for sustenance and the enrichment of our faith, but it is vital for survival. We are too busy, but are we making the effort to find the time. As for me, I know I am not and that is not a good place to be. It is vital to the survival of our relationship with God and victory over the challenges that rush at us on a daily basis. Also, we have to strengthen our prayer life and be consistent in all things, whether we see them as major or not. When our communication and connection with God is undermined then doubts creep in and take hold because we have lost sight of the one who truly sustains us. We have to nurture our relationship with God so that our faith grows. We have to practice letting go and letting God no matter the outcome. We have to trust, that His ways are always better than our way. We have to trust that He will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert for us. Not because we deserve it or because we have earned this great and wonderful gift, but because He is faithful and does not give us what we deserve but what we require.

Hack It

Life sucks! Yes it does

I’m sure you’ve said this. Don’t worry. You have a big choir behind you echoing the same line. This response and call is a community of various ages fed up with everything. So, what do we do now? Do we sing until our throats are raw with the regrets and disappointments that make life suck?

Well, we could just hack it. We must find a model that works for us and pursue it. Listen, this sounds easy, but it’s hard. When you think you have things figured out, things happen, change comes, then you have to bend with it. Trust me, there is never an end game in sight! It’s just another stage of the game to pass to get to the next one. But you have to hack it! There is no other choice if you want to keep moving. Forget about conventional success play by your own rules and don’t get trapped in a cycle you did not choose. Take the lessons and use them, don’t just lose them because you will need them. Be grateful (I’m sure you’ve heard this before), but trust me you, will need gratitude when things seem impossible. Your life experiences cannot be solved with someone else’s solution or timing. You may be before and you may be after but the time stamp solution is the right time for you. Figure out what’s your thing and do it.