Cognitive Dissonance Should I sit or stand mi caah bother speak well look well be well you are your own master. hustle hustle hustle got to stay in the race. to be a tough rock or a tender grass "oh what a rat race, yeah!" "Got to be true to myself" - but be like everyone else. yes? Got to get up when told so people will see that I am good at taking orders. I will be free but maybe... maybe to much freedom is dangerous? I must cry! I must scream! I must set the place on fire! I must whisper or whimper Spit my Seething displeasure vomit up howling disappointments. Be calm and say nothing - remain respectful all the time... I am hurt healed I am a monster beautifully made imagined real blinded by a light that makes me see clearly. regurgitated slugs hang suspended mouth ready to devour spare a prayer... scabs at all stages congealed across picket lines... Ineffable incandescent beauty illuminates Gossamer A web of lies fleeting like a butterfly's fragile wings. "Oh what tangled webs we weave" until we have no silks to hypnotize but regrets borne from grieve.
Hold On Ah..! My friend..! For your sake for my sake hold on! the branch right there too slim. The rock over so too sharp. I see the blood running... hold on! Ohhh! my heart in my throat hold on! Don't fall now just so. The rain falling slippery slope down below. forsaken we are battered we are hold on! Ehhh! let me pull you push you up. let the blasted old piece a cloth go! Hold on ! wipe the tears see the sun and let it light the way. Hold on! for you and I because this is our journey.
Healing Wounds Do you see that knife in my back? Let it stay there to stem the flow of a river of blood crimson red dead red the blow dealt at the hands of a friend. Is seek I seek a healing give me the bissy kola nut to stem the tie of this feeling of dying. In the curls and twirls of these words I find a home to perch and wait out the storms while I recover... Out of breath now I grasp a leaf of life to stop slipping in my own gore. The escape I see is crowded now other souls that seek relief. In a ball I wait my turn, In and out out and in to keep out the dim tide.
Overdose I feel something pulsing I feel it just here. I see the lights an aurora engulfs me. Will I be born again? Or Lazarus from the dead? dinoflagellates bloom and I see glistening reds and blues. Silver badge on sliver skin but no silver lining to pin. I grab something green maybe this will help. but it is invisible to everyone else. No one wanted to wear it "the color does not suit me". So I stopped. Breathed in and swallowed to much and drowned. As I sink I feel the weight of my grief and so I closed my eyes. Hannibal greets me in the dark forces me awake. I struggle and reach for the fading thread of light and the promise of a new day.
Midnight Blue Like a dream it consumes me. I rest my hand where my heart use to be The dagger remains buried deep, like fault lines no longer aligned. lava spews ready to burn me alive. Will I heal? My shame milady evergreen. touch me not! Or I will fall apart never to be clued back together again. Do I want to be? I shiver and shake in fear of what's to come drenched in impotency. my past chases me threatening. the laughter of yesterday mocks me. What could have been? Warmth removed, replaced by midnight blue. I stand alone inconsolable as I must. Will I die before life returns, before the dawn awakens me?
The Cost of Loss The cost of loss each time is a little pound of flesh messy yes but cannot be helped because it is a price paid forward. Each tear you shed a shred of glass that makes a trench for the blood you sweat. With each small departure a little more of you goes. They say it be better to have loved and lost but what price must you pay. If that love should go you are bound to lose your way. And if you face constant loss what is the better then? pretty words are easy to write until you are challenged by them. Should I build myself an island and build a fortress for my heart? Should I abandon all hope to catch the love dart? If I fortify myself good enough can I save myself from harm from loss? When I think of how it eats at me how each one grieves me I cannot catch a breath. Yet there I go letting down my defenses So loss can breach my walls.
Broken mirror shattered soul splintered into the four dimensions. Some lost never to return pieces buried too deep. corrupted soul cursed to suffer for seven years times eternity cursed to never be whole again. should it be dust or buried by a tree or left to flow down South. But Broken mirror Do become many mirror too. Each containing a piece of you you can return to. Look at each and try to place the missing pieces back together again. Look closely and grab the light reflected towards you a different light that leads you to look at things differently. Broken mirror tells a story of how you transformed despite the odds to become a unique you.