Category: Encountering New Experiences

Recently I came face to face with a harsh truth. A lot of times I am not honest about my limitations. I realized, as I thought more about this, that one of the hardest things to do is be completely honest with ourselves. In that moment I could see that it has always been easy to blame others or some thing beyond our control for our situation. What is hard, to the point of being impossible for many, is that often they and not others are the reason why they are where they are;a place they do not want to be and should not have been.

This situation reminds me of the mirror versus the camera dichotomy. Often times when we look in the mirror we feel so much confidence about how we look and feel; this is until we take a picture…

Take a minute and think about this. When are you more satisfied with your image? when you take a picture or when you look in a mirror?

The thought is that the mirror tends to make us look better than we really are, while the camera gives a more accurate image of ourselves. I know I do not like taking pictures because you have to work really hard, even being contortionists just to get that perfect image!

With the camera its harder to hide your true self. Little imperfections become glaring scars and it highlights how the world sees us and not how we want to be seen.

So what does that mean for us? It means that we cannot always play the victim in our own little melodrama. We cannot always claim the world is against us. We have to be honest that we may not always have an accurate perspective on our situation or others. We can also be problematic, because we refuse to step away from the mirror and look through the lenses of the camera.

Our situation – because we all are guilty – reminds me of a poem by Sylvia Plath, entitled, Mirror, which unlike the ones we all use, gives back what it gets and is honest about what it sees. When you look at yourself be honest about what is really there and be honest with those around you about how complex you can be…

Mirror
Sylvia Plath
I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
What ever you see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful---
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish. 

“Being still does not mean don’t move. It means move in peace.” 
― E’yen A. Gardner

I woke with these words in mind, “be still and know that I am God”.

I spent an entire day trying to figure out the message in this, and these words became my companion for the day.

It’s hard for many to be still – well at least for most of us! This inability to remain still and not be active is mission impossible for many. “There is a party that we must attend, things we need to do and achievement medals waiting to be collected!” We do not feel safe with ourselves and our thoughts and so we turn to the noise around us to delay our confrontation with self.We do not trust us to be with us. We turn to various sources, such as social media,reading endless books or watching marathon after marathon on the television, to distract us and entertain us, when we just can’t be bothered.Be still is no fun what so ever.

But there will come a time when it is necessary. A part of being still is being calm and not worrying or overthinking. We lose our calm when we hold on desperately to things that do not benefit us. Whether they be negative emotions or people. In an effort to appease others, we end up being constantly on edge and trade a peace of mind for a life time of disturbances that quickly wear us out. Eventually, we lose the ability to be aware of what is happening to and around us. We find ourselves in situations that could have been avoided, “If only we had paid attention”. At this point it is too late for us to do anything to change the course of things. Now we have reached the segment in our journey called,”wait and see”…

We need to take charge by being still and letting all the anxious and self deprecating thoughts go. Many of us do not know that there is value in stillness. How it can allow us to let go of unwanted baggage . Letting go is also about being still.When our inactivity is noticed, those who were never really here for us, will slowly wander off to find another host.Someone to give them what they want – which, sorry to say, is no longer you.Lets stop striving for things that are not for us and being with people who are not truly with us; to be at a place were we are not ready or even suppose to be.

We waste time moving aimlessly from one experience to the next without meaningful gain. Never knowing how much more rewarding it is, to get off at the bus stop and wait for the right transportation to take us on our journey.

Be still and let go!

Many people use a dream board or a vision board for inspiration in realizing their dreams. I have always heard of a vision board. Personally, when I first heard of it, and being the true pessimist, the thought of doing one seemed odd and slightly gimmicky. Why waste time to create something to look at? How will this help you to achieve your dreams? Therefore each time I read about or watched videos on creating a vision board I either scoffed or laughed at the very idea of this time wasting activity. Why worry when you have God! Alas, even with God many of us still do not realize our dreams. Instead, we set aside our faith and embrace fear.

There are many dreams that have killed along the way. Along with this, the enthusiasm for life is currently on life support, for many. Fear cripples you and can make the strongest among us the weakest. A sure win becomes a devastating loss when we allow fear to control the game.

We maybe afraid to fail, to lose control, to make a mistake, to say something wrong, to be seen in a bad light and so on and so forth. Guess what? All of those things have already happened are happening and will happen. Its impossible to do the right things all the time. Many become their own worst critics and before they even begin the effort they have lost all. Their fear of failure becomes the stone that is wedged in their path, a stumbling block they cannot move.

All we can do is to take that leap of faith.

If we intend to take responsibility for the space we occupy, then we need to defeat fear. We may not always be confident about our choices but we do not have to be paralyzed by a fear that will vanquish our dreams. It may be difficult, but we have to try not to feed into the negative comments, experiences and opinions of other. Dust off those great ideas before someone else takes the credit, make your move and block out fear with an inner confidence in your ability, that will tear down walls and lead to you charting a new course. Take that leap and believe that you will land safely on the other side. After all your faith is your safety net.

 
Take a break from the world
Close your eyes
Feel the lightest breeze
Brush
Over your face 
Feel the grass
So fresh
It seems
Like water
Trickling
Through your hands feel
The water...
- Jenny Diamond

WE ARE AT IT AGAIN. We are about to start a new week and we need some inspo! We’ve got things to do, people to see and we need to get ahead. But while you’re getting ready again to hit the ground running, remember to take a break.

In the middle of trying to get on top, you may need to take a detour and find a quiet place to recharge when your plans go haywire.

We usually become distracted by what is happening around us and not what is happening to us. There is a point at which we feel we cannot take a break or we will be left behind. There is a real and present sense of FOMO. It is a real disease created by the social media craze that many persons, young and old, have been sucked into. We take that same negative energy into real life actions and interactions. We try to be a part of everything and the funny, or not so funny, thing is that when we take this approach we never really end up where we want to be or ought to be.

We begin one venture and in the middle of learning about this new path, we abandon it for one that seems a little more rewarding and exciting. And so we move through life, never really being consistent. We never take the time to revamp our plans or ‘check with ourselves’

This is where you need to take a break!

Is it Really Necessary?

It is necessary to take a break when we become frustrated about everything and everyone. Before we destroy our relationships, it’s necessary to leave everyone behind for a while and take care of our mental and spiritual being. Many may label it as being selfish,and if they do, that’s fine. Its better to be selfish for the short term than bitter forever!

It’s necessary to set goals and achieve them, but your goals should not be all that you care about. There are people always around you, whether you like it or not, that you will interact with. For many of these persons it will be important to protect the quality of the relationship that you have with them. In order to make that relationship stronger though, you may need to take a break from them. Sometimes for a short time and some times for some years. Trust me, you will miss them, value them and love them more when you do see them again.

And it’s just a good idea to take a break and be with yourself. Learn about how you have changed and where you want to be. Take time to evaluate your options, whether it’s at work, school or in your personal life. No one is gonna do it for you. No one will say, “[insert your name], I really think you need to take a break and take some time for yourself” not when they rely on you for everything! Trust me, I am guilty of this.

So, you have to know when you have had enough and take the time you need to come back stronger. Hey, even racing cars get to have pit stops, so why can’t you?

It’s good to want to do your best, to always have things moving like clock work; but guess what? Even the clock will need new batteries to replace the old at some point.

So when you’re running low on fuel and you don’t know what to do, take a break, recharge and get back in the race…

I look around a rock,

and see nothing

but the darkness of my reflection.

Just ahead I hear the faint sounds…

A bubble of laughter,

A spring of joy.

But it seems so far away.

There is no reflection of me.

There is nothing to see!

I feel the vibrations.

Something wants to escape

this

trap.

I see the smoke from a dying

fire.

It is black.

Too black to see clearly

that which I cannot see.

A slap.

A tear.

The vibrations continue.