I Found God Today I found God today and guess what? He had never gone away. I had just lost my way. Distracted by deception feted by the thief of joy false promises its only decoy. But today I stopped listened and heard God say - "keep going I am right here. Keep striving for by your tears and my grace you must win this race".
i said i love you i said i love you but not how strong right now i love you but not all the day long. must i lie pretend to be shy and give you a teddy for you to wear on your sleeves? i said i love you but not that much to give up and flush all of my dreams as small as they seem to follow your highlight reel. I said I love you take it or leave to make room then for someone who believes.
“If you’re silent about your pain, they will kill you and say that you enjoyed it.” – Zora Neale Hurston
I heard the quote above and it got me thinking. It got me thinking about how many of us have become conditioned to going along with things. It got me thinking about how obsessed we are with not rocking the boat and being compliant. I, like many others, was taught as a child that I had no voice, ” a child should be seen and not heard”. So I developed the dependency on everyone’s opinion but my own, I trusted the advise of others to the death of my own gut feelings.
When you are silent you compromise.
Maybe if we didn’t always take it like a champ, we would not have so much unresolved issues. Speaking up does impact your mental health. I know there have been times when I have been consumed by anger and blinded by a sense of injustice caused by the inability to really say what is on my mind.
Silence that kills I have come to find can be overshadowed by the noise we make.
How many times have you found yourself saying everything right, everything you are expected to say but still feeling as if you left having said nothing that was necessary to say? Or, said so much except the things that really matter? For me there have been too many moments like that and those moments can stay with you, and haunt you for the rest of your life. Silence has its role but silence is not always the best way out:
Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly.” ― Mahatma Gandhi
Also, sometimes by remaining silent we sometimes end up on the wrong side of history and what is right:
“If I were to remain silent, I’d be guilty of complicity.” – Albert Einstein
We all care about he aesthetics of things. Though we are often told that “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”, we all like to be surrounded by things we and society deem beautiful, even lies. In many instances we have allowed ourselves to be led, to see false narratives as the truth, untainted, because it pleases “me” to do so. We are quick to see beauty in things that have been made to look so, an optical illusion that hides many many ugly truths. The truth is too real and too painful for too many and so many are willing to cover it, stifle it or kill it in order to live lives of lies. We accept the unspoken rule that some things should never be spoken because they are unpleasant and too many turn away from the ugliness right in front of us to stare at mirages that spring from our imagination.
Lies become beautiful, seemingly harmless nuggets that attract the sensibilities and lull us into a false and piteous sense of security. You see lies hold prominence because so many want to be convinced of them, they want to hold tight to them and so they are whispered time and time again until they are in grained in many psyches. However, they are fools gold that rust easily when correctly challenged but many of us are not brave enough to look the ugly truth in the eyes – many of us would not survive such exposure. This of course does not stop many from flirting with those lies, because they are so tempting, many reflecting and aligning with many of our desires.
So, on one tables lies a buffet of tempestuous lies, disguised as very tempting morsels that will delight the palette and beside this are only the bitter pills of truth that may hurt and cause acid reflux; Which will you choose. Whether we spread them or we believe them sometimes lies are hard to reject because they have become the basis for how we exist in this world. Each day, each lie that we accept makes it less likely for us to understand how far we have sung in a web we may have helped weave to trap ourselves in. But, we must be willing to finally break free from that web, to be honest enough to see things for what they are and not what we always wished them to be. “The truth will set us free” they say. There is nothing more freeing than not living within the bounds of pretentious smiles and fake interests. From returning the cult membership of being on trend with the lies we tell ourselves because we want to fit in somehow.
Now, what will you choose? Will you choose to embrace those pretty lies that may lead to more complications down the road – but not right now of course – or, truths that paint a realistic picture with all the gore and grime that lies never truly erase, but instead covers for consumption later, much later? Each day we have a choice to make, to go along to get along or be the truthsayer and disrupt those false narratives.
And I will Rage... ...against bigots on their stage whose smiles poison and words inflame hate. ...against the kindness of thieves who see the suffering grieve as weak and take siege. ...against the promises of peace made by those who hold the gun who demand praise for their reign of death and terror. ...against the powerful who spiral out of control too vast to contain who spit out skulls as they feast on our pain. For though my power is made impotent the will to fight does not wane. my rage is all I have left so I will nurture and bottle it. to get back my humanity to counter the pain. I will master and wield it to turn the tide and carry the day.