Finding your happy place – Page 7

Only Time…

Often times we speak and think of time in negative terms. We often bemoan the fact that time is running out or the fact that it feels as if there is not enough time in the day, to do what we want to get done.

Time reveals all truth – This is a reality that many people fear, based on what they have done in the past. However, if we find ourselves operating under an alternate reality, then it will only be to our benefit when we finally have to face the truth of either who we are and what we have done; or, the truth of who people in our circle truly are. However, this does not have to be something to fear. Having the truth revealed in time may seem horrific in hindsight, but in actuality can liberate someone from the fear of exposure that they carried around like a heavy load.

It has been said that it is better to fail in truth than to succeed by immersing ourselves in lies. Only time can help us to truly understand this truth.

Time heals all wounds – The sense of disappointment we experience can only be treated with time. Sometimes when we are disappointed we do not see the blessing of being in that position until later when we realize that we have been spared from a dire fate.While this adage does not work for every situation, the very least that can happening is that there is a dulling of any disappoint or pain as time advances

Only time will tell what the future holds, only time will give the peace that we seek.

Who Can We Trust?

It is increasingly difficult to answer this question. However, trusting anyone is a risk you will have to take. If you want to form strong and lasting relationships, you have to trust everyone.

No two persons are the same and everyone carries around ideas of what is best for them. Therefore, we cannot think that at all times we can rely on everyone.

I was briefly apart of a discussion about two recent incidents recently, one a murder suicide and the other a murder of a woman. In both instances the men were the perpetrators. In the discussion the question of whether or not you can really know someone came up. Can you really vouch for everyone you trust and do you really know everything about them?

At the end of the day we each have to decide who to trust: just make sure that you are trusting the right person with the right thing and for the right reasons.

I think the greater question too is, what can you trust people with. There are many different things that we value, can we trust everyone with them?

While we cannot trust everyone with everything, we can choose who we trust with what. You need to know enough about someone to determine what you can trust them with. If someone threatens you or abuses you, can you trust with your life? If someone is careless with their possessions, can you trust them with your own? If someone never or hardly ever make time for you until they want something, can you trust them with your friendship? If you try to speak everything into being but never act, can you trust yourself with your dreams?

Not A Pity Party.

I learned from my own experiences that we can so easily be manipulative by appearing pitiful.

Image result for no more self pity quotes

It’s easy to become this way, but it’s a difficult habit to break, especially if your behavior is being encouraged. Being pitiful means that when you make a mistake, you can use those “pitiful eyes” and say “sorry”, and everything is forgiven. However, every action has a reaction and therefore we need to be accountable for all that we do.

Feeling sorry for yourself serves the purpose of allowing you to continue to make excuses for why you seem to be stuck in the same place. Also, why you find it so difficult to make the necessary changes that you need to make. It may seem to be a good thing to be cuddled and pampered all the time, but there comes a time when being cuddled becomes a stifling of all the potential that you have.

It reminds me of how a friend told me he learned to swim. One day his brother grabbed him and threw him in the water and he literally had to sink or swim; and since he is still here I guess he eventually learned how to swim. The point is, if we rely on people to feel sorry for our plight we will forever be victims of circumstances, forever pitied as the little engine that could not.

For some more than others, it’s easy to fall into the “woe -me”- trap and to milk it for all it’s worth. But ultimately we do ourselves a disservice when we accept this narrative, in any form.

Let us all stop making excuses and allowing others to make them for us. Let us be bold enough to be honest with ourselves if no one else will. Bravery is not showing that we are vulnerable, we all are in some way or another. Bravery, is pressing forward and doing what needs to be done, in spite of all our vulnerabilities.

Bait and Switch.

You only have time for people who deserve you and see your value.

Seeing the above somewhere made the proverb, all that glitters is not gold, even clearer. Distractions can be found everywhere and is both internal and external. We may think being lazy benefits us in the short term but it could be the difference between getting to that place you need to be or staying right where you are.

Bait and switch usually refers to a tactic that sees a projected desirable outcome as in reality, a scam.

So, in Life we may see the easy way out or the brightest light as the think to take us from point A to B. However, when we get closer the easy way out could lead to many dead ends and the bright light, just a spark quick to burn out.

So we do not read the fine print and don’t sweat the small stuff until they get to large that they threaten to overrun us.

It is important to know all you can before you make that move but also to see things for what they truly are and not what you would like them to be.

“Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be.”
Jack Welch

To Know Peace…

The way of peace they do not know;
there is no justice in their paths.
They have turned them into crooked roads;
no one who walks along them will know peace.
Isaiah 59:8

There are many paths you can take in life and many can lead to peace and others lead to war, whether it is internal or external.

There are times that we seek peace in the wrong places. Also, we seek it from people we surround ourselves with. Peace is not a commodity that can be traded and therefore, though free, it requires a great deal of spiritual connectedness to tap into much needed contentedness.

The absence of peace begins inside a person and overflows to impact those he or she becomes connected to, whether directly or indirectly. Sometimes it’s necessary to tune everyone out and walk in peace. I recently went walking through my home town of Spanish Town. It is a town notorious, in the past and maybe the present, for sudden violent outbreaks, usually based on gang related activities. But today I walked through narrow streets and lanes that I had never walked with anyone. And on my walk I felt a sense of being at peace in the world. There was no one with me on that walk and it felt good to have a clear solitude, that was only concerned with putting one foot in front of the other.

Peace is not something that can be bought nor traded, it is available for all to experience.

ruin and misery mark their ways,
and the way of peace they do not know
Romans 3:16-17

While I walked, I had to decide whether I would travel in the areas that seemed uncertain, less traveled and so I took a chance, veering on to an empty road. Walking on that road I saw no one, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that the path I had chosen further extended the sense of peace and quiet I was enjoying. The area far from what I thought it would be, was aesthetically pleasing to the sight. The road was so clean, that it seemed not to match the rest of the town. The old fashioned Georgian styled homes that echoed a colonial past, had been brought back to live with vibrant colors and love. On passing through that seeming oasis, I realized that peace is available anywhere if that is what we seek. After I had left that little wonder, I came out feeling revitalized, as I too had been brought back to life on my solitary walk.

Therefore, when I reemerged into the hustle and bustle of the terminus to take the taxi home, I felt I would be alright.

That all that had troubled my mind before, had been beaten into submission and taken away.

He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
Mark 5:34

Mouth Full Not Full Belly.

I thought about this and if you view this in passing, you would probably say it makes no sense. Yet it does.

There are many times when we feel we do not have enough, that we should have or even deserve more. We take for granted what we do have and say that we are not blessed because our lives are not overflowing.

Have you ever eaten too much? I have, and have regretted it until I am no longer full to bursting. In the hours that it takes to get comfortable, I have regretted being so mindlessly greedy. I obviously had bitten off more than I could chew.

It’s not the case in the song by Bob Marley and the Wailers: Them Belly Full (But we Hungry):

Them belly full but we hungry
A hungry mob is an angry mob
A rain a-fall but the dirt, it tough
A pot a-cook but the food no ‘nough

It’s not that we have nothing, but that we may feel that more would be better than just enough.

So, we buy more things than we need, and try to be a part of everything that is happening around us. We can’t be still, worse silent, because we may miss out on something. What is that something? We may not be sure but we just might.

Full mouth, but around it we complain. Perhaps maybe we need to stop complaining about having just enough, we may choke ourselves and never truly appreciate and benefit from what that full mouth can do for the body and soul.

Filling Life With What is Important.

To make life simpler, how about we keep only the important things. I know I have often found myself with lots of stuff that I really do not need and so treat poorly. Yes, at times we want to be accessible to everyone and we may feel that if we don’t get something now, someone else will snatch them up. Well, let them if you don’t really need them.

Image result for quote about filling your life with important things

Some Important Stuff…

There are persons who you need in your life. Keep those who think and speak positive, not just about you but about others as well. Persons who always see the bright side, so, their optimism can rub off or shame you out of your existential dread. Those who will not accept being negative in any way and not support it.

Do what makes you happy, being mindful of how it will impact others. Ensure that there are things you do because you want to do them and not because you feel you have to. If you wake up one day and want to relax, relax. If you feel like doing something that no one else wants to do, do it by yourself. Also, and one that can be hard to do, if you want to go somewhere but no one else wants to go with you, become a solo traveler.

Develop on what you have. Do you remember the parable of the talents? Make sure you develop on what you have been gifted by God. Use it to make the space you occupy that much better. By focusing on all the things you can do and do well, you won’t have time to compare yourself to others.

Know that everything you achieve, in spite of your mistakes are because you are good enough. It’s easy in the age of stiff competition to lose sight of your true worth and so, it is important to remind yourself of your worthiness. We may be disappointed from time to time with the things we do but they should not be our beating stick forever. Just do the best you can.

Do what makes you happy, no matter what anyone may say or think. Happiness is vital for instilling a sense of well-being and meaning in life. Being happy can affect your mental health, your physical and spiritual sense of well-being. Therefore we should protect it at all cost. Even if it means staying away from things and people that compromise it. Consider that discontent and unhappiness can lead to conflicts and even war! So find a way to make what gives you happiness a part of your daily life.

We don’t need everything, we just need the things that matter.

	Simone on Freedom from maladaptive …
	Farrah on Freedom from maladaptive …
	Simone on Maladaptive Daydreaming
	Priscilla on Maladaptive Daydreaming
	Simone on Maladaptive Daydreaming