Finding your happy place – Page 15

Strength…

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Inner strength is an experience that leads to a sense of peace and having a sense of well-being. Being strong is hard especially when others do not expect you to be. We can easily allow situations to overwhelm us to the point where we cannot move forward, because we only can see the path we left behind. When we would rather stay in the happiness of the “good ol’ days”, then we can say forget being strong and just be complacent.

I have had to be strong many times. The first was when my mother left me behind and I, out of sheer terror ran behind her only to be beaten back to my new home. I had to learn to live without her. To only see her once per week and sometimes months in between. I felt like an orphan.

I had to learn how to be strong when my grandmother, my second mother, died the day before my first exam, in the first year of university. When I had to attend her funeral I made sure to cry before and not during it. I had to be strong when I was told after the first year that since my grandmother’s death the little money available to me to go to school, had evaporated over night. I had to be strong, when Mondays to Fridays I went most days at school eating very little or nothing at all because I did not have enough for food and bus-fare. I had to be strong when all it seemed I was working for was not to leave university without a degree. I had to be strong working from 6:00 a.m to 7:30 p.m Mondays to Fridays each summer, after her death, so that I could have some money to go back to University, even with student loans. At least I had a way out.

And once I left I thought, ” well, I no longer have to struggle, once I get a job” – how Naive! I lost my strength many times since then and from most of life’s hard knocks I have not recovered. But I still have to be strong in order to get back to my true strength to meet my true true self again. So I can say hi, hello, how are you to the girl I once knew.

Don’t Be Stupid!

I was enjoying an Afro-Fusion song by a Nigerian artist, by the name Burna Boy and I wanted to understanding the message so I looked up the lyrics. When I saw the lyrics it was interesting to note that the Nigerian Pidgin/Creole was kinda similar to Jamaican Creole – not the same, but very close!

Dem no dey tell person (ja ara, ja ara)
You go learn your own lesson (ja ara, ja ara)
Everybody keep on searching (ja ara, ja ara)
For miraculous blessings (ja ara, ja ara, ja ara)
You go bow for Lagos oh (ja ara)
If you no know yourself you go lost oh[] (ja ara, ja ara)
If you get money you be bros oh (ja ara, ja ara)
Omo nobody holy no apostle (ja ara, ja ara)

Anyway. so I looked up the lyrics but the message was still was missing me – seemed to be playing hid-and -seek. So I decided to look up the meaning. When I did this I came across a blog, Ogefash photo blog, that gave some insight. Apparently the song is saying to be smart about certain things. The first thing that stood in the songs is the line, “Ko Juba, ko juba”, which means to give thanks. Yes we all need to give thanks EVERY DAY.

Be smart about who you let into your circle, keep negativity out and welcome only positive energy: : Dem no dey tell person– In Nigerian pidgin, it’s a warning. Burna Boy is …telling him to be wiser.

Be smart about what you belief use the common sense God gave you and recognize when people are trying to fool you and use you in the name of whatever ideology they support: Omo nobody holy no apostle – This would mean that nobody only relies on prayers by clergy men or that no one is a saint. We need to tab into a greater source to realize our potential and to maximize it, in the best possible way. No one and nothing is a god on earth.

These are just a few gems we can take from the song, but it also speaks to not being so impressed by the things in the world that we becomes slave to it, mesmerized in it and lost to it. It reminds us to know who we are and operate in that knowledge. It also reminds us to care for those we need our care but be careful of those who seek to deceive us.

Language can never be a barrier to great music that has a good message. When you think you are about to give in to the temptations that can destroy, remember Ja Ara E!

What is Man?

I was asked that question today and it got me thinking.

Where I come from the unconscious response it, “man is nothing”.

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The person who asked this question, was relaying an incident where she was confronted by someone in a higher position. The confrontation made no sense in the first place. It was based on a discussion that two friends were having about something that was no body’s business – at least nobody where they were having the discussion. However, one person who overheard felt slighted because the discussion was about someone who shared a similar title to her – please consider she did not know the person. However, she felt they were out of line and threatened to take her and write a little to the manager.

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But why? It made no sense? But what did happen was a clear “drawing of the line” between who was above whom.

What is man that you are mindful of him? (Psalm 8:4a)

Are we titles walking around on legs or are we equal and unique, creatively free and free to be what we are meant to be?

What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god!
William Shakespeare Hamlet Act 2 Scene 2

Is man more or just an animal, more than flesh and blood more than we can conceive in labs and create for glossy magazine covers? We are more than what others give us permission to be when it fits with their vision of us. We are at the heart of it all imperfect and so we do not have the right to think that a title makes us more.

So as she asked the question I realized that this is not an easy one to answer. For her, was it right that she left the exchange feeling less than, because she spoke about something she wasn’t suppose to?

Prayer For My Ego

“If a man thinks he is not conceited, he is very conceited indeed.”
― C.S. Lewis

When ego gets in the way, as my granny use to say, ” all hell bruk loose”.

A prayer for my Fragile ego

Heavenly Father,

I pray for my ego when it gets so out of control that it takes me away from reality to a far far place where no happiness can be found. Help me to remain humble, when everything seems to be going my way, so that I do not become a pest to everyone else. Let me remember that what I gain I can also lose in the blink of an eye. May I never take for granted the importance of everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – I meet in high high places and low low ones especially. Finally Lord, may the wrong never become right nor the bad become good; let my heart, mind, spirit and eyes never become blinded by material gain.

Amen

Image result for The ego is your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear. If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue.

A lot of the misunderstandings, anxiety and fear that we have stems from an ego in crisis and many of us do not recognize this. Sometimes our problems do not stem from external forces but begin with how we see ourselves. When we feel as if the world has turned its back on us, hey it could be because we first turned our back on it! It could be that we never gave people the chance to give us a chance and now at the end we feel cheated from really being a part of something.

We allow ego to take the reigns when we feel the need to always be guarded and never trust – not even the old lady down the road, because who knows what secrets she could be hiding; it doesn’t matter that she can barley get around much less carry out a plot to harm us. And God forbid we should have a streak of good fortune, that is when some of us really start acting crazy!

It’s really hard to always keep a reign on criticizing, judging – even when we aren’t ones to talk – comparing and generally finding fault with everyone and everything around us – as long as we get the blame off of us. When we are too consumed with gaining recognition and always being first, never helping someone who may outshine us, then we have allowed our ego to grab the reigns. This can be a disaster for us.

When we realize or “buck up” these flaws and before we try to crucify ourselves, we need to take the time to acknowledge our very flawed humanity and take back the reigns of control. Life has both the good and the bad after all, and each of us is no exception. What we should always strive to do, is to somehow ensure that the darkness never wins, though it is always there just lurking to take control. We must never allow this to happen.

I’ll Slay My Goliath!

I can feel the sweat pouring down my face. Or is it my blood. I know there is a metallic taste in my mouth that no a mount of mouth wash or toothpaste can dislodge. I feel my heart trying to escape my chest but the bars of its cell keeps it at bay. There is a sharp ringing pounding me and I don’t know if it is within or outside. All I know is I cannot stop. I must no fail…

Though go blind and the world disappears I know this road like the back of my hand. I do not need to see where I am going, because I know what I have to do. But then again a loosening of the earth nearly becomes my undoing as I am drawn tighter than any string in any bow. When I thought I have recovered from the mishap of nearly falling then macka juk mi and nearly kill mi. Yet still I am too tough to be defeated so easily by this spear of the soil; it becomes a part of me like osmosis.

Though the spear and sword and shield and helmet and shoes and bag and, God knows what else was too much, what I have is enough; just me nothing else but God. Even when confusion comes to mix mi up and twist mi round, I will not stand still, frozen in fear of the what ifs.

Though small, I’ll be large and wide and deep to take on anything that thinks I can be contained in its small shortsightedness. I’ll grow in a moment to heights unheard of, a wonder yet unseen.

And when each time I stand before this enemy that has become my shadow I will not hesitate to let loose a hailstone of the power within. And I will make sure that when the curtain is lifted I will be the last one standing.

Carpe Diem

Scale back your long hopes

to a short period. While we
speak, time is envious and

is running away from us.
Seize the day, trusting
little in the future.
Horace in 65 B.C.E from “Odes “

Often time the phrase Carpe diem brings to mind the idea of seizing today and not fretting about tomorrow. It has motivated a lot of persons to grabbing opportunities and running with them, while you have the chance to do – because hey everything is transitory. Therefore I would like to add my own voice to the many messages about seizing the day.

The word seizing can be defined as a length of rope or cord used for tying and fastening or to take something quickly and keep or hold it. The latter suggests an impulse which can be dangerous. So, when opportunities come should we take them because we can? The answer is yes. Often times we are too afraid to do something unexpected or that seems hard to do but usually when we are properly informed we can make use of opportunities we never dreamed we would have.

Carpe diem linguistically speaking is also a horticultural metaphor that, particularly seen in the context of the poem [“Odes”], is more accurately translated as “plucking the day. Now that adds to the need to not be lazy about getting on board when faced with new opportunities. Many of us are discouraged by naysayers who think they have live figured out and can see all the trouble waiting just ahead for you. However, our gut instinct never fails us and are often more reliable than those well intention friend or family member.

But going back to the more accurate translation of the expression. Plucking literally refers to picking fruits. And here the past also plays a role. The best time to pick fruits is when they are ripe. So while we may want to pluck the day, we need to do so when the time is right for our fruit; and, not when we see everyone else harvesting! So seize the day but when the time is right to so. Not because we develop a case of F.O.M.O. Yet still while we wait for our fruits to ripen we need to also keep in mind the extended version of the expression:

‘carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero’

My Truth

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free
John 8:32

When you make a mistake how far does it follow you before it lets you life. How long do you have to feel the weight of it before the burden is removed?

The truth is, many people do not like the version of the truth they are told, if it differs from what they expect. They like the thrill of a secret until they know what it is. They are intrigued by your mystery until they discover it, and realize that it’s really not that deep!

I am sure we can all admit that from time to that we make mistakes – unless you are delusional. Everyone does something that they are not proud of. Yet, we are so quick to condemn each other when we are not in the hot seat . It’s especially easy to do when things are going well for us; when we don’t have to look in the mirror, when we are not faced with our mistakes. We can quite happily pretend that all is right in our world and we, unlike mere mortals, are the example and certainly not the rule.

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Then there are those who would love to reveal their imperfect beings, but those around them do not offer them the grace to be human. They listen carefully to what others say about them and they realize that they have to hide a part of who they are, because people do not want to see or acknowledge a side they do not understand. So some mistakes are never seen. But, because it is never seen, does it mean it never happened? Does it mean that those who make certain types of mistakes are absolved of them, when they are not expected to fess up?

It’s funny how many want to hear they truth until they do:

all you have to do is just tell the truth…

you know what they say, and the truth shall set you free…

Yes my friends, free until you really start doing the telling.

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What they don’t tell you is that they want the pleasant truth, the one that will not make them feel uncomfortable. Only the truth that makes sense for them will do; not your truth. Sometimes the truth is the last thing that people want to hear and so they never do. Instead many of us pretend to be what we hope will go down easily, make us accepted and we find out too late that even in telling a truth that’s not the truth we may not be accepted; it was never going to happen. The truth is funny and sometimes a slippery slope to your demise when people celebrate the lie that comforts, lies that have been institutionalized. We hang on too long to things that no longer work. We do this when the truth is harder to tell than the lies that soothe. When we have moved on in every way but physically, it’s not because we want to but because even though we have said in every way that we are ready, no one really listens. And if we are honest the lies allow us to belong on the inside – because who really wants to stand on the outside looking in?

So we wait too long to get the courage to tell our truth and live it. We pass up opportunities to break free from a glass house that can be shattered at anytime. So what should we do? Maybe we just need to take a chance on ourselves and just live our truth.

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