Not Work, Care.

Many famous or successful people will tell you that you have to work hard to achieve your goals, you have to keep burning that mid-night oil; and as one of our past Prime Ministers here in Jamaica once said, she was always, ” working, working, working.” But when I think about it, is working yourself out of relationships, your health and your peace of mind so important and worthwhile?

Many persons have compromised who they are to reach where they want to go and I have to ask, is this real success?

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Some may say I’m asking because I have not achieved their level of success, but,that’s not where I’m coming from. I have seen or heard, in my space and other spaces, of people who re really talented who are not super wealthy or super successful, in term determined by a few, who seem to be happy with their lot in life; who just seem normal. In a world where being normal is seen as basic, their normalcy becomes refreshing. It is those who are always striving, reaching for the star just ahead who seem to now be doing too much, going too far and in the process losing the light that they where born with.

At any cost. That is what some people accept as the way to be successful, which can cause someone to lose sight of what it really means to care about the things that should matter. One of the things that require our attention more than gathering wealth, is to confront the traumas that have given us the urge to seek the applause of the crowd by working long and hard.

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Success is as success does. Before going on this grand adventure, many people do not ask what success will mean in their own lives. So, you get the things you set out to get and then you wonder why you wanted them in the first place. Could it mean that there is something internal that is damaged, that having those things can never fix? If so how much is this need for success driven by destiny or some childhood trauma? I think it’s important and necessary to question why you want to achieve certain things, because if we don’t, we run the risk of having someone else’s mountaintop experience.

Bird in a gilded cage. Whether or not we want to admit it the result of success may not be triumph but a gilded cage – much nicer than the one we were in before – but a cage none-the-less. Thinking that we are working to better our lives and the lives of those we love, can blind us to the true state of our situation and not see that instead of approaching he finish line, we are about to fall over a precipice. Sounds scary, but true. Instead of addressing one problem, the need to get that “bread” can create many more that is harder to fix with the success we may get.

Awareness and care are one and the same. If we really want to get to where we should be, and not where we were never meant to be, then it may be time to question whether we strive from a place of brokenness or if our journey is fueled by the will of the Almighty.

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Not A Pity Party.

I learned from my own experiences that we can so easily be manipulative by appearing pitiful.

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It’s easy to become this way, but it’s a difficult habit to break, especially if your behavior is being encouraged. Being pitiful means that when you make a mistake, you can use those “pitiful eyes” and say “sorry”, and everything is forgiven. However, every action has a reaction and therefore we need to be accountable for all that we do.

Feeling sorry for yourself serves the purpose of allowing you to continue to make excuses for why you seem to be stuck in the same place. Also, why you find it so difficult to make the necessary changes that you need to make. It may seem to be a good thing to be cuddled and pampered all the time, but there comes a time when being cuddled becomes a stifling of all the potential that you have.

It reminds me of how a friend told me he learned to swim. One day his brother grabbed him and threw him in the water and he literally had to sink or swim; and since he is still here I guess he eventually learned how to swim. The point is, if we rely on people to feel sorry for our plight we will forever be victims of circumstances, forever pitied as the little engine that could not.

For some more than others, it’s easy to fall into the “woe -me”- trap and to milk it for all it’s worth. But ultimately we do ourselves a disservice when we accept this narrative, in any form.

Let us all stop making excuses and allowing others to make them for us. Let us be bold enough to be honest with ourselves if no one else will. Bravery is not showing that we are vulnerable, we all are in some way or another. Bravery, is pressing forward and doing what needs to be done, in spite of all our vulnerabilities.

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The Reason I Know.

I cared for you in the wilderness, In the land of burning heat.

Hosea 13:5

Well if we are counting, it’s now 13 days into the new year and it has been interesting.

If you thought that you could leave 2019 behind just with the snap of a finger, or the click of two glasses, you and many others (me too) were wrong!

So when you work hard to get things in order, the devil works hard to confuse you. So, I have been experiencing a weird time these pass 13 days.

However, I know that things will get better.

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Change is not easy, and with change there is a period when you feel the pressure of everything and everyone that wants you to stay the same.

So, you have to be strong to wait out the storm when it’s just passing over. And if you think about it, you may realize that you have passed this way before and were too quick to give up and head back to the familiar. This time though you know you have learned the lesson a little better and you now know what you did not know.

You now know that it is worth it to wait a little under a shelter until the storm passes, instead of running into the middle of it to be swept along with everything else. You also now know the dangers of starting out too late, when darkness suddenly engulfs you and you lose your way. You now know that if you get lost, you may end up wondering in the wilderness for another 40 years. You see, you now know, how hard it is in the valley and how scared you can get; when it seems like the wolves are at the mouth of your cave ready to devour you.

The reason I know, is because I have been through so much more than I knew I could go through, and still be alive. You know what I know and so, we know that this moment of uncertainty is the beginning of all the greatness that God has in store for us.

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Are You Making The Best Stuff Ever?

Just because you do the most doesn’t mean you’re doing your best work.

Just because you give a lot doesn’t mean it’s doing a lot.

Just because you have the most doesn’t mean you’ll give the best things.

Just because you are the best doesn’t mean you do the best.

Just because you have the most doesn’t mean you deserve the most.

Just because you love the most doesn’t mean you love the things you claim to love.

Just Because you can tell a story doesn’t mean you should tell the story.

Just because you have a key, doesn’t mean you are welcome.

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Just because you have eyes doesn’t mean you should see it.

Just because you have a voice doesn’t mean you have the right to say it.

Just because you have the diamonds doesn’t mean you know a person’s worth.

Just because you are creative and brilliant doesn’t mean you are the only one.

Just because you did something doesn’t mean you did your best.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

The world seems to appreciate people who do the most, the fastest. Those who seem to be on the fast track and decry those who seem to be moving at a snail’s pace. I have come to love the idea of going slower, of finding success in little things and taking my time to do things right. I do not believe you have to be the first, in order to get it right, the loudest to be heard or work the hardest in order to get the job done. Instead in whatever we do when we do it, what should be important is if we have done it the best we can by taking the time to do it properly.

No one reaches their full potential by themselves, words that make me pause. No matter how much you try to do alone, you’ll never make it on your own. And it matters how you treat the people who help you to get to where you eventually reach. If you can’t stand and say, ” this person helped me” or if you can’t remember, you are lying. That person who helped you without you knowing is one of the realest person who will ever help you. There wasn’t a friendship to keep alive, networking to keep them on your radar, no future favor to collect on, no recognition that they craved; Just the desire to support you silently.

Are you really making the best stuff ever, when no one benefits but you, from what you have created and can do?

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Don’t Stop Trying.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Existential Dread- The inherent believe that life is meaningless.

Life can get really complicated and with that the feeling that no matter in which direction you turn things just never seem to work out. Inevitably, death is the end result. This is the kind of negative thought that we need to leave in 2019. However, in the midst of all the optimism and hopefulness of the new year is someone who thinks this way.

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I wish there was a manual to follow concerning what to do and not do in life. There is often no person who can save you from the bad choices you are likely to make. However, life is a gift. One that if we take it a piece at a time can offer us varied and unique experiences. Often times, it is the fear of the unknown that either cripples or confuses us into making the choices we most regret.

Sometimes you need to take a step back and get out of your head. By living in your head too much you can create a reality that does not exist. So, we need to face all the things we fear and rely on God to catch us before we fall or fall too far. We need to remind ourselves about why we have to keep going even if it makes no sense, even when we cannot see the prize and especially when we travel solo.

However, we need to also remember that no one can do everything alone, even though it may be hard at times, we need to reach out to the right people who can help us on our way; and in turn someday, we can return the favor to someone who will be in the same place we were when we felt like stopping.

Found this and thought it was so meaningful to this post
Song by Lauren Daigle – Rescue

About New Year’s Resolutions.

I have observed that at specific times of the year, people make the effort to change some aspect of their lives, but the new year is when we see this need to change explode. I like to think of it as promises on steroids. We all have made countless unrealistic wishes and promises about how the new year will spawn a new us. This usually lasts for the first couple of days and then most fall back into old habits.

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I think a big part of why they don’t work is because we leave reality out of our new year’s resolutions. We forget for a couple of days, what our situation is truly like and make commitments based on dreams we have nurtured since childhood and comparing ourselves with other, which is always a bad thing to do.

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Also, we now have many self-help articles that speak to setting goals and not resolutions. But I wonder what the difference really is.

Goal:An aim or desired result.

Resolution: The quality of being determined or resolute.

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The problem I believe is not in creating goals or having resolutions. The problem is being unrealistic in making or setting either and having a spirit of stick-to-it-iveness, to see them through. I have had many great ideas of things I want to accomplish, but have fallen short because of my own self-doubts. Setting goals over having resolutions does not mean that you will achieve them. For both, you have to have a plan of how they will be realistically achieved. Further, I also believe that anything we want to do must have a purpose. It cannot be that we want to be rich or lose weight but it’s because that seems to be the trend. Our purpose for wanting to achieve something has to be clear. It means then that once we have identified realistically what we want for ourselves this year, we need to consider why we want to do so and if in the long run there are real lasting benefits to doing so.

At the end of the day, I say take your pick and call it whatever you will. However, what I feel is more important than the title you give it, is the need to ensure that you are mindful about the things you would like to achieve this year.

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No Time To lose.

Well the celebrations are over and life to goes on.

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It’s the second day of 2020 and many are busy trying to begin their New Year’s resolutions and so it’s the peak of mass self-discipline.

There is a feeling in the air of something new, of something wonderful being just around the corner…

It could be the imagination, imagining something that our minds have conjured. Or not. Who knows!

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However, what is true is that there is no time to lose. If we want to get things done, we can’t wait until a certain time to get in the mood. We have to hit the ground running. So, if we want to start a new business or a new career, we probably should have started last year, but if we did not, we need to start like yesterday. Ah well there is today!

If you were always shooting done the ideas you had, commit to doing every single one, no matter how uncomfortable they make you or how extreme they may seem.

If you think you can’t make a decision, be more committed to doing so today. If you are not good at making long term commitments and would like to start, don’t wait until you are comfortable with the idea – you may never be.

There is never a good way to start anything you want to do, you just have to just do it.

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