Category: Encountering New Experiences

What Not to Say

What Not to Say

It's funnny how you go
intending to show
you much you care.
You trample the fragile grass
of hope,
left in reserve
for a time when hope is scarce.

"Sorry for your loss"
is tossed like a sauce
that stings an empty soul.
A tear forced here,
cracked voice there
that offers no warmth
to those now left in the cold.

"So how did he die?"
A dagger in the heart,
a fresh wound bleeds 
with each uttered breath.
Maybe next time 
you will get the report 
that pays for the salt
you carried for treating the wounds.

"I will talk to you then."
A promisory note
that brings us to the end 
of a most difficult talk.

Did It Leave Me?

Did It Leave Me?

Blue black breath
I stand on this desserted trek
waiting
Wondering,
will it come?
Has it gone?
Will I have another chance if it has?
Aimeless 
back and forth
I go.
Only the black shadows
friend or foe?
I do not know.
I stand
a pawn of Time
lacking vision my only crime.
Have I already been condemned?
Frozen.
will I find a friend
to help me back on track?
I stand rooted, waiting. 
Can you tell me,
if it is gone that way
will it come back?

Pretty Words

Pretty Words

Pretty words
are a dime a dozen
and they quckily lose their shine.
They bolster the ego
but offer nothing tangible
but misguided plastic shrines.
Pretty words
deceive the mind
trap you in a time
when you were in your prime
but no more.
Pretty words
fill an empty void
and makes you empty
when that decoy is destroyed
by reality.
Pretty words
are just pretty
now
they linger for a while
then blow away with time.

Sh*t Don’t Go Away…

“Yes! I had finally gotten rid of it. It would no longer rule my life. Maybe I can take a break from being so vigilant and do the things I’ve always wanted to do.”

I made the mistake to think I could use a bandaid to cover a gash. I had done what I set out to do really I had fixed the problem, permanently.

But that was not the case, because some problems are bigger than we are and we have to seek help. But I, I had solved my own problems and now things would be smooth from this point forward. So without knowing that my nemesis was lurking, I started to pat myself on the shoulder, maybe I got a little cocky and started doing something that got me in trouble in the first place. But never mind, those things can be handled or at least I know I can handle those things.

So naturally, I went ahead and did whatever I felt like doing, even if it wasn’t right for me. After all, I knew when to pull back and get myself in line. But, I did not. Better yet I could not pull, not after I started and certainly not when I wanted to stop. But I was still sure I would never get back from where I was coming from.

However, I underestimated its tenacity and willingness to wait, a trait I have yet to fully master. So it waited for its chance while acting like a fool, doing everything but being vigilant. As I became confused by my desire and neglect it slowly crept back to the top. It crept back on top of me, overwhelmed me and locked me under its spell of pain and dread. Now, I am playing catch up and I can’t allow it to get too ahead of me, all is not lost yet. I have to take some drastic steps to crawl out of the dark hole it flung me in, dust off myself, build up my strength and attack it this time at its roots. I have no other choice left…

When One Suffers…

When I would hear about a tragedy happening to someone, whether I knew them or not, I would immediately say, “that is so terrible” and immediately think, “thank God it’s not me!” I was relieved I had been spared the suffering that person was enduring at that time and I prayed fervently to God that it would never be my experience. You see, I naively believed that I was more special than others in their darkest moments. Little did I know that it was just that my turn had not come yet, but it would.

Now I believe that when one of us suffers we all suffer. Since the pandemic, I have heard too much of death and loss, of sudden tragedies and life-threatening emergencies. Through them, I have come to be more compassionate. So now my first thought is not that I must be lucky, but what can I do, what can I say to lessen the blow for that person. How can I be of service to ease some of their anxieties and pain? How much bearable those moments of loss, suffering and pain would be if we realised the importance of really, sincerely and authentically supporting each other. I know there is a sense of peace and comfort with knowing that many are with you, praying for you that many support and will lift you if you should fall and fall hard. It is good to know and this brings peace of mind that money or any valuable possession can never replace. W need each other.

For me, this is a truth I can see more clearly at times like these when uncertainties seem ever more present than they were before. We need each other, not to be separated by perceived advantages that make some feel more valuable, more visible and less silenced. We need each other because our very survival depends on it. Without each other, each of us will get lost along the way until there is no one who can if you a hand. No one to cheer you on, loudly and passionately, to the finish line

It is easy to turn away from someone else’s pain and suffering if we want to do so. However, because there are many threads that connect us in some way or another, it is impossible to avoid. So instead of trying to avoid the impossible, why not see your humanity in them and support, encourage and uplift them to where they can be healed. So that when your time comes there will be someone or many someones there to advise you, help you to find and apply the antidote and help to nurse you back to health. When one suffers we all will suffer and when one is honoured we all must rejoice.