There is a Youtuber that I listen from time to time and often times she brings some clarity on things I come to realise but could not put into perspective.
This has been the best year so far for clarity. While it seems everything is going wrong, I feel as if something like this was bound to happen. I feel I now have the time to really look at myself and determine what I want to carry, for however long God allows me to be here.
It was never enough but now it has to be.
I have never been satisfied. No matter how much I achieved and reached my goals, it was never enough and that is so sad to realise, because what I took for granted can never come back. It is true that the more you have, or the more you gain, the more you want. The less satisfied you are with what you have and what you have achieved. It is so easy to focus on the shortcomings because they proof that we are not perfect, so we want to auto correct. Meanwhile, we are blind to blessings God has given us because we are too focused on acquiring more than we had before.
So you wanted something and feel your world will end if you do not have it. So, you work at it and when you are at that place, you do not take the time to rest and just have that experience. Instead, you look closer at what others have achieved and you want that so badly (we tell ourselves that we are living our purpose) and we tell ourselves that we can achieve it so we must.
But then when we are no longer happy with our gains, we become bored and self sabotage. We never really wanted what we gained and so it isn’t enough.
So what becomes of us? What becomes of having enough?
The gentlest of wind can tear you down, if your foundation is weak.
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It takes something like a pandemic for us to realise that we have been reaching for a blinding flashlight and not the stars. We look back and realise that that crappy day wasn’t that bad. We realise that the disappointment of not getting what we wanted was really not bad and we can be grateful.
We come to appreciate so much more, the little things we couldn’t see because our heads were covered by polluted clouds.
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They were clouds that made us foolishly greedy to have more and to be more, of the things that simply do not matter. To think that with one year (cough 2020) we can magically step away from years of being annoyed with our lot in life. The irony being that it would take less than a year to realised that “our lot in life” is all we have and we really want it to count.
So, when we get up tomorrow and see one more day, let that day be enough.
When we can greet each other no matter how, make that enough.
When we know that we have support, no matter how small your group is, it is enough.
When we have the opportunity to do something, anything no matter how small, to uplift and encourage someone, you will know it is enough.
The little things that were never enough before are great treasures to cherish.
Your health, body and mind are enough.
God is enough.
When we realise that we are still here, we know that we are enough.
It is enough, Life is enough .
All that was never enough, becomes vital, because those are the things that truly will sustain us. This moment that we have, in this transformed world, is enough.
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