Author: Simone

Loves to tell and hear untold stories about people, places and experiences!

So Much Love

I have so much love to give
it ridiculous
but this crazy world
just fuss and cuss
the love under the rug.
I sit and ponder
with my two brain cells,
how I wonder
why the lust and vanity
for measly inanities.
I could be wrong
but I stand strong
on the truth that 
this world won't be here long
it must pass
with all the shattered class
trampling down Jah grass.

I have so much love to give
till it overflowing
and I feel like throw in the towel
because it devalue and hard to revalue.
walking down the road 
from a distant coast
a old radio a wonder 
"where is the love".

I wonder if old will bring new?

For Everything there is a Season

Dear You,

This year has already been the hardest year of my life, and it is just coming to the end of March! Right now I feel like I am being crushed on every side. I had to make the decision to move from where I lived suddenly because it was no longer serving me. Great wonderful, with God’s grace and the determination of a friend I moved with her into a really nice flat. Comfortable, nice. Yes, this is life! I felt a little freer, so I got cosy.

Then wham, work troubles. I cannot do anything right all my decisions are poor and I walk around with egg permanently on my face, yolk dripping on the floor. Okay. This is a new experience. My brain felt fuzzy I walked in a daze. I need to fix my face, permanently stitched in terror of what happens each day. “You can do this girl, God’s got you” – weekend prep talk leading into Monday morning blues. I swear every day I gonna resign. But, I have to keep holding on. Each period of the day was a struggle of wading through the Sargasso sea, with no life jacket, just God and me. Well, isn’t this nice, it seems this is the price to dear step out. Okay, let’s try again. Another day, the struggle is real, and things blow up in my face. Oh, maybe this will become a cake. Let us carry on at least I can see. Well now, look at this! It is a nail and let’s look over there, a coffin! I try to edge away from both. Then I trip. I now have the privilege of rest in waiting. All that work, all that effort snatched and frozen just out of reach, at lightning speed.

This year has been so hard, I don’t know how or where to begin. I think I will start with, I am alive. Therefore it must mean that God ain’t finished with me, so I go. But, I think too many things are now on my face, weighty things, burdensome things, I cannot see the way. I have been beaten into admitting humility and gratitude. Thank you, Lord, for this lesson. It has been painful, and the price may be heavy but thankfully the cost will yield favourable returns. They say every lesson is a blessing and now as I sit waiting on God oh, I believe it. I know I have had to wrestle with keeping myself, myself. In the process, I am shedding those parts that do not serve me, but the shedding is painful, the shedding is constant. In the process, I have to find my voice respectfully, speak my truth don’t kiss ass (pardon my Latin), like it or limp it. It has been so hard, but praise God it will get better soon…

Yours dearly,

Kim

From Cold Col’ Inglan’

Sleepwalking

wakeup!
wakeup!
stop daydreaming.
can't you feel it?
Can't you see it?
Get out of your head
stand up now
see what's around you
see what's true
distractions are your enemy
they defeat you
stop you
from moving
sleepwalking backwards
into fantasy
unreal
not true
he will distract you
cast shadows
to defeat you
lett you sleep there
camp there
defeating you.
I see you
drowning 
falling
deep
in discontent
to maladaptive
malware
shortcircuiting your truth
rocking the cradle
disturbing our peace.
Rest
yes - 
but watch!

The Years

Twenty years
have come and gone
still there are tears.
How to recover?
I do not know
Where to turn?
I cannot say.
I feel just as I did -
wrenching pain
of loss
and still
the world looks on
as if nothing is amiss.
The only change are
the number of years
nothing else
nothing quite seems real.
Grieve engulfs me
terribly
hammers at my resolve.
I must carry on
continue on,
the dream must stay alive!

The Trill

in the bowels of despair - 
when duppy fraid fi walk -
i hear
a quiverying rapid rasping sound
a most thrilling trill
softened the blow
of my bloodied daggered tears
a sweet swift song to repair
a tattered soul in loss
who life could no longer bear.
I held the rope within an inch 
of sweet release
but paused
what should I do 
i cannot bear
to leave behind 
my bittersweet trilling song.

Peace is Priceless

After many years of wrestling with this, I have finally concluded that peace is priceless. No amount of money, accolades or accomplishments can beat having peace. To get up each day knowing that the smallest thing will bring you joy is peace. A job you love may be hard and you may make mistakes but each day you want to work, you want to challenge yourself to do your best for that day. That is peace. To feel the freedom to be yourself, your true authentic self that is peace. No one has predetermined your worth or has decided they know who you are but are willing to concede that there are layers to you, that is peace. When you can sleep a deep deep sleep and wake up knowing you are ready for the day, that is peace.

It seems that finding peace is harder than it seems. Many of us can only grudgingly sing: “When peace like a river attendeth my way when sorrows like sea billows roll; whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, “It is well, it is well with my soul”. No, it is not well with my soul, because people have a way of imposing themselves and their expectations on you and making your life a living hell. In hell, let me remind you there is no peace, joy or contentment. So earth becomes hell because when you try to reach beyond your means and the expectations of others the chains imposed seem to strangle you, rip the breath from you and smack you to your knees. But you look around and people still expect you to function and not malfunction but they are your malware.

We are too hard on ourselves and too hard on each other. But society tells us this is okay and so we have vampirous leeches in the form of each other, who suck and tug the air breathe. So, going back to peace; it can only be achieved when we say no to unfounded expectations and the violations from the expectations we seek from questionable sources. Peace is necessary but elusive in a world that glorifies wars. We feel alive when we wage war, how ironic because war means certain death. We are not satisfied with the mundane, where peace resides. No, we have to reach past the safe and choose violence instead. Do you see how hard it is for peace to permeate? I spent all paragraphs on violence, conflict and oppression.

Peace is priceless. It is better to have peace than riches but society says to get it at any cost, even your peace of mind. Society is not satisfied with letting you be, it tries to fix you until your insides become your outside and your outside disappears. Again, I have digressed from extolling the virtues of peace. Even in these few words is little evidence of peace. But best believe, peace is priceless.