Song in My Heart So faint and distant it comes from a ghostly realm where dreams go to die and are no more. It beats out of step behind a moldy door left to fester and perish no oxygen given a place where no hope liveth. But the song the song is in my heart covered under all the cobwebs have almost pushed it out into the cold... Then sings my soul... The song hangs on clings to the last thread of stubborn will. Or maybe a Spirit? But I must bring forth this song. Oh the song! From generational curses I must unearth this song. Oh the song! From death and hate I must dig up the song. Oh the song! The song the song! It refuses to die. It changes shape and space but it remains the same. A symphony of strange sounds proclaims its immortality. It rushes out from the dark places, requires me to sing victory. Because this song will never die neither will I. It is perfect it is true it is faithful All this also I must be too. I must find my new yellow brick road to claim my song. Lost to me But never forgotten, stolen but able to be restored. My song- only I can sing it - the right way. Oh the song!
Author: Simone
Loves to tell and hear untold stories about people, places and experiences!
Though the Righteous Fall Seven Times They Rise Again…
I’m sure there are many guilt-filled persons walking around who have not allowed themselves to be persecuted in the court of public opinion, but who have gone ahead and condemned themselves and exacted punishment. Guilt is a burden that many find hard to bear, but many carry. The thought that “I made a mistake” or “I did something wrong”, can be the nail that seals a life of misery from which a person can never recover.
So many are so concerned with doing good and making sure they toe the line, they eventually have a nervous breakdown and destroy that image constructed by one foolish act – at least this is how they see things. They do not believe they can be redeemed after those mistakes and either lash out at others or lash out at themselves. The reality though, is that we all do things that will cast doubt on our “good”l image that we have spent so long constructing. For some being good has become a full time job and they have traded genuineness for fakeness. We become okay with persons who project what we expect and not who they truly are and expect others to be and act perfect when they were never meant to be that way. If we are good maybe it is okay to judge others, to relegate some to “those people”, who we will never be like.
If we accept that we a imperfect beings, then when we fall we can recovery quicker. We can accept that our failures do not define us but can transform us, help us grow and flourish, then we can better survive the storms of life. Guilt, will not take root and eat us alive – stifling our potential. Then we would know that there is life after those mistakes and that those mistakes will not have power over us. Instead of aiming for perfection, what we need to do is be honest on our journey, expect honesty and nothing more. Know that persons will disappoint you and be okay with this because they were never perfect to begin with and they should not have to be something they by nature are not.
Don’t strive to be perfect but to be an overcomer. It is better to have failed and learned from that failure than to remain stuck on impossibilities that cause you to fail. For it is in falling and failing many times that you will ascend to where you are truly meant to be:
for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again,
but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.
Proverbs 24:16
From the Edge of Doom.
From the Edge of Doom. From the edge of doom I stand. Flames lick and caress my face I can taste its essence As my face drips with its lingering scent. Just one more step into a black void of nothingness welcoming me home. To step over I must get by the jagged edge of my conscience that rebels reminding me of my commitments. But how do I escape this pain of loss? I do not know I cannot tell. I look behind nothing. I look ahead also nothing. But maybe this nothingness ahead will give me rest. Take away the pain, maybe? "whether you go or stay it does not matter it's all the same - " I must shake it lose this beast that tries to devour me telling me to move forward over the edge. Maybe there is still hope whatever that is. Like Lot's wife I am rooted but I have looked back - again. I cannot bend my knees so I stand and pray - relieve! As the flames mesmerize and thrill I consider embracing the madness. Should I give in? "Who must I kill to find redemption?" No one comes, no one answers. So I stand - until I am pulled over by the flames or drawn away by saving grace.
Dream…
Dream Close your eyes close it tightly. tighter a little tighter - now dream. Dream of the happiness you want more of. Now dream. Dream of the you you want to be because it can be not because you wished upon a star. Now dream. Dream about the things you have to do things that need doing things you were meant to be doing. But these are not fantasies. Not lost in another reality. These are real buds buds that just need to be pruned - watered with real tears real blood. They will grow and flourish but only because you made them so. So dream dream of peace, love and prosperity - not of this word but really real fully ready to be plucked really ready. when the leaves have fallen rotting all around. When the musky scent of that refuse assaults your sense dream. dream of a spring blooms a=with blossomed hope true. Wait for it. Wait for the lazy summer days. Days when you can fully reap the harvest - pluck miracles out of your baskets. Dream, wider than your reach and hold them to your bosom. Let those dreams flow everywhere bringing you to life keeping you alive fueling your very soul. But never stop dreaming. fight against the disease of dreamlessness. a gangrene triumph that eats away slowly at the core of your essence.
Bored… Uninspired?
Maybe you feel the your life is in the dumpster, because everything is in the dumpster. Maybe it is that being in quarantine, restrictions in your movement has stifled your enthusiasm for life. Maybe you feel that life is just one never ending corner that you having trying to get around, to no avail. You look around, and in many ways you feel bored with your life. Maybe, you have even questioned why you should even care about anything.
We look at our phones and see yet another person celebrating another achievement, then look in the mirror and question the image looking back, “what are you doing with your life? Pathetic”. Then onto Instagram or even Facebook we go and see many perfect (or so it seems to many) images that further flings us in great distress at our ordinariness. But we do not stop looking. Too many persons continue to torment themselves by looking at these highlight reels that never reflect small fragments of that person’s life – those highlight reels.
We too lie comatose as we try to recapture moments in our lives that mattered, while we ignore the life we must live. We want to experience those times before covid when we were innocent and free. But if we look close enough we would realise that even then we complained some more bitterly than others of how bored we are with our lot and how little we had achieved. we may see highlight reels of events that seems so exciting and so real but which often times would evaporate in thin air when we try to reach for them to touch them.
But what if we stopped focusing on what our lives is not and appreciate what it is. If we flipped the switch and begin to see every our lives as just that our lives. Instead of waiting to live your real lives and until things get back to normal, let us make choices that will allow us to enjoy all those ordinary moments. Moments when we say and do the wrong things but also when we get things right. When our choices brings positive results even if no one knows we did that – we know and we just have to be content with that. We have to make our ordinary extraordinary by stop looking behind at those moments that have been captured on the reel of our lives and we have to stop looking down at those highlight reels that not even those in the frame can maintain.
So though many of us feel bored with life right now, a little vexed – or a lot vexed – by all we have to deal with, take a walk, have a laugh, work on something that you love doing or that will help you to move forward. But whether bored by the restrictions imposed because of covid or whether you have been stung by your judgmental inside eyes that look out and compare, there is nothing gained in allowing your view of yourself to stymie the potential that you have and the richness of your life now and that which is yet to be realised. Maybe we need to get off or reduce our consumption of social media, stop straining our necks to see in someone else’s lane and just appreciate the good things that this year has given – life lessons and good people who stuck by no matter what.
Maybe when we choose to open ourselves a little more to possibilities we will see that there a many little things that can make our lives exciting and rewarding in its own special way.
This is It
This is It. Hold me I don't feel so good. I think I am going to explode I need to go let go of this pressure building up inside I see double. triple - I can't see at all I need to sit to stand to take a break to get going I am a mess! I can't think clearly I think too much what will I do what will I do? I wish it would start I hope it doesn't I'm not ready! Oh God! What will I do? okay okay I can do this I must do this I am going now now now! - that's it it's over?
I Do Not Know How…
I Do Not Know How... I stand tall as a tree rooted deeply I do not know how... I can fly depths and heights unimagined I cannot tell how... What I build can never be destroyed I cannot say how... When I have lost the battle I still clench the victory to show you I cannot... The stormy clouds soothe but do not destroy me a miracles I could not foretell... Through glassy pains I see nothing but my vision is enough so I do not stumble... Without a blueprint I build on a strong foundation though the workmanship is not mine... held at gunpoint the trigger pulled I survived though I had not moved a muscle... In my hand I held nothing but I have much from nothing emerged plenty miracles... All I wear is tattered but I am always warm no logic science cannot tell... I stand and sleep - there is only standing room yet I am refreshed, renewed... I do not know I cannot tell' but I know it is so...
