Author: Simone

Loves to tell and hear untold stories about people, places and experiences!

Clear Visions

We made it to November in 2020! At one point there are many who would never would have believed they would; many did not. The year has been so disappointing for many and persons continue to struggle micro and macro concerns that seem to box us in, keep us diminished. If we spend too much time focusing on the distractions and the negative naysayers then we would buckle unde the weight of all we have experienced and all that we still have to experience.

But I believe 2020 has been true to what it was said to be at the start of the year – perfect vision that is what we have had. We have been able to come to some hard realisations about ourselves and other, the world in which we truly live in and not the one we sought to construct. This has been a year where, under some very uncertain times, we have had to let go of many things. Jobs left many, loved ones, friend and opportunities. However, we have also gained many things that we often do not see because we are so focused on those negatives things that disguise the good.

I am sure that many will leave 2020 a lot more mature, a lot more honest about who they are. 2020 has made it impossible for anyone who wore a mask to continue wearing the mask that has fooled so many – even those who wear them. The pandemic has made it easier for us to be honest in all areas of our lives, and this has led to many upheavals that now may seem unbearably painful, but ones which we will survive and even flourish henceforth.

For me the things that use to be important, are no longer important because I now realise at the end of the day all those things will eventually lose their significance. I also realise that you have to be realistic in your expectations of others and of yourself. There is no place for fantasies and the world can be a very very scary place; and more importantly, that it is not a bad thing if you don’t know everything. Not everyone can handle the truth and those persons who cannot should be even some grace and be allowed to carry that which they can manage to carry.

If there is one thing I am grateful for, is that this year so far has taught me what it truly means to be humble: to be in a position when you hit rock bottom and only by grace do you rise again. I have seen that ego can be detrimental and is something that we all have to fight against, ot lose the good within that can make us give of our best; we can lose the best part of who we are, but we should never deny that we also have flaws which makes it impossible for us to judge anyone for theirs.

I have come to accept that we are all different and the best you hope for someone is not necessarily the best that they hope for themselves and we should accept this. You can never pray or wish someone into the mould you want them to be and it is not your job to do. All we can do is live the lives we are qualified to live and remain faithful that we will have what we need to do so.

life is not easy. Even if you think you have everything you need at a given time, there will always be a fork in the road to knock your off track; to force you on a detour journey that will either reshape or snap you in two. No one owes you anything because everyone is just doing the best they can, where they are at and that has to okay. At the end of the day you can either take them on or let them go, it all depends on you.

So while we continue to weather the storms that 2020 has in store for us, we must see beyond the clouds and find our silver linings.

Photo by Flickr on Pexels.com

Break All the Narratives

Break All the Narratives


Before you can  break those chains that cling lovingly
break all those narratives.

All those time you would be
confused
wondering 
why 
things just could not turn out right.
Why the curse had followed you 
from Eve's womb.

Stories told
of you
to you
about you
but never by you.
stories which condemned you
before you even tried.
They sought to bury
in the petrid soil of hopelessness - 
where you were told you belonged.
Never your story
never you.

it does not matter.
It does not matter
that you had to claw your way up.
That at your slow progress you shed all your feathers.
It does not matter
that two turned three and three five and five seven - perfect score.
You have changed the narrative.
Replaced the broken empty vessel to carry all the wisdom you need
to carry the water that restores.

When no one can help you
it is okay.
Okay to walk alone
okay to say goodbye to all that would entrap you.
It is okay to stop listening to the stories that do not define.
Okay to stop telling them as if they were family heirlooms. 
It is okay to forge a new story - 
one where you are the director and writer producer and teller.

to finally break free from the web of the lies you were told to be.

No one Left Behind

No One Left Behind

Before now
I had to let you go.
Till now
You carried your own load.
From then
You mended your own wounds.
That time
you bobbed and weaved
hungry
dead
destroyed
broken.

And now
a hand reaches out to you
from now 
the light beats out the cold
Here now
your moment arrives to prosper.
A moment
strength lifts you high
new
renewed
filled
mended
restored.

The cold slips right off
nothing touches you
there are no gaps
no hole for forced entry.
gathered together like sand grains pulled out to sea
we cling together
finally free.

Nothing More Powerful

Nothing more powerful or worthy
nothing more in need of praise,

there is nothing else that can lift you high
way above the sky
nothing.

arise, shine, for your light has come
a light that can never be extinguished
it does not burn
it blazes
flashing liking lightening
a rumble that shakes the foundations of the earth.

You shall see and be radiant
You will see the truth beyond those hidden walls.
no longer will will you be blinded
by fear and insecurities.
It is a new day!

Your heart shall thrill!
Know sorry no more
You have conquered the unconquerable.
You have power.
That little pinky can slay all your giants.
at your core is power
an inheritance,
never bought
cannot be stolen.
Power.

Who are those who fly above the clouds?
You have been raised 
you have been raised.
That power will carry you 
forever,
and the light shall be everlasting;
Shiloh.

Emotions: if they control us, they destroy us.

Tensions are running high and our emotions are sustaining us, while fueling a fire that will consume us – if we let it. If everything we do revolves around how we feel then we are never in control. We become slaves to our emotions, where wrong becomes right and right becomes wrong and we never acknowledge or know the difference. When we are up we reach beyond the universe but when we are down we are buried in the deepest and darkest pit imaginable. This is no way to live.

When you are constantly on edge and your nerves so frazzled that your brain short circuits and makes you a hulking shivering mess, useful to everyone most of all yourself. These emotions that you may have once thrived on to get you by, have turned on you and you become their victims, trapped in a constant roller coaster of emotions. Before you know it, you are not thinking clearly, which means you cannot act decisively and you become immobile, drowning because of those emotions.

The battle is real, with landmines everywhere, the likelihood of being blown to pieces an almost sure possibility. To do everything based on how you feel each day could be doing a lot and getting nothing done, that is how harmful succumbing to our emotions can be. Those sleepless nights and binge eating sessions, are directly linked to those raging emotions – even those you think aren’t a threat. We have to see them for what they can become, a monster like Godzilla almost impossible to contain.

However, we can begin to reign it in, though it may not be easy. It is especially hard if you have become reliant on them to be companions in life, when you let them in but refuse to let them back out. They become larger than life because we give in and give up without putting up a challenge. It is only when we can find a way to take back control that we can know peace enough to be content. We just need to acknowledge that we have a problem and seek help outside of our narrow world of destructive emotions; from a source greater than ourselves.

Emotion

I see deeply into your very soul
you cannot hide from me
I hold you prisoner
you cannot escape me.
I speak you but you cannot see me
you feel so confused
I change, shift, slip and twist
every which way.

Can you truly conquer me?

Clawing Back.

It may be that you are feeling suffocated by the uncertain buble in which you exist. You may feel buried alive unable to see how far gone you are, but knowing you are about to run out of air. How can you crawl your way out of this mess?

It surely will take supernatural powers- powers you don’t have. So now what? Well you may have a small plastic fork from that dinner you did not consume. It look feeble, almost ready to break, but hey, it’s all you’ve got. But no, it cannot be that you must use this feeble tool, so you wait. As you wait for your saviour you begin to get delirious. You forget that the space you occupy is so confining that you begin to stretch, only to be reminded by the sudden collapse of your lungs; what to do? Oh what do you do?

You spent so much precious time dreaming of being free, of stretching wide and far, of being carefree. It almost becomes too late and it will be too late, if you don’t get going soon. As you lay there inactive undecided and immovable, there is a constant sticking in your back – sharp enough to pierce your skin and draw blood. Suddenly you wonder if your first die from losing blood or affixation. Just when you embrace the possibility of one or both, cold water is poured on you one last time. Enough to wake you up. You must take this reprieve. It’s all you’ve got. You reach for that weapon and realise it is that stupid fork! But it’s all you’ve got.

So you start digging, trying to make your way. It takes hours, upon hours. Days upon endless days. Little by painstaking little you make progress. Will the earth cave in, swallow me whole? Well you have to continue, either way you will die, make no mistake. So you continue, your harms get so weak, you can barley – but you must continue. You dry to wet your lips but you realise that you are so parched that your tongue has grown tiger like papillae and you draw blood. But you must go one, this chance is all you’ve got. As your blood seeps in front of your vision, you wipe it and continue, there is no time to mourn the loss of life. You must contine.

Frazzled to the bone, no surrender you see a small hole. The aquifer that contains you is ready to release you. You dig enough so you can pour out, to see what lies beyond.

The Feast after the Fast

The Feast after the Fast

I crawled out of the belly of a whale
still in tact.
The green eyed monster 
tried to consume me,
but in this basin
I was lifted to safety.
Though my ribs are exposed
to the elements
The rain comes and washes
away the crispy foam left by my decay - 
fresh meat.
I first must die to be reborn
anew
afresh
restored.
In order to be filled
I must be empty.
To find true happiness
I must embrace mind numbing grief.
These supple limbs had to be broken in many places,
there was no other way.
To reach my destination
I had to take a leap off the cliff -
don't look down.
I had to lose it all
to gain.

Then when all is said and done
I still have to follow and not lead.