Missed

Missed

Whether 6 or 88
There is no time or date
when you will not be missed.

"she lived a full life, why sad?"
Yes, she did.
But does it mean she will not be missed?
Does it mean 
I still cannot hear her laugh
remember her jokes
keep her in my heart?
Does it mean that a sudden memory
does not attack
knocking me down
making my steps unsteady?
She who remain larger than life
her beauty and grace
sets the pace I must walk.
That her words do not light my path
her voice a symphony of youth eternal
immortalized by the memory of her
handed down through time immemorial.
"She lived a full life"
But now she is gone
She will rise no more in this earthly dawn.
She will no longer play her parts
No stops and starts
with passion and fire.
Now she is gone and will be missed.
No, 
can I kiss her papery lips?
She is gone.
Allow me to mourn her loss - 
in my way - 
because she will be missed... 

The Sublime

The Sublime

In this moment I have found perfection.
Rays of  golden dust illuminate a path towards rest.
I take a deep deep breathe
And I know I am alive.

From this chaos
I snatch the beauty 
from a maggot infested world
And I know I am alive.

In this moment 
nothing matters.
I leave the giant behind
With no hair to let down

I step down from my tower.
I shake off the rusted chains
Free to roam
Free to find a home

Finally. 
I am alive.
 

Lies Tastes So Good

In a world were people speak about integrity, it seems that many did not get the memo that lies are a no no. We see it every day but we ignore it. People who spurt or wax words of wisdom about the importance of being honest from the right side of their mouths while on the left the spew lies and call them necessary or worse, say they represent in some twisted ways the truth.

It tastes so good to the ego, sweetens the image we want others to have us and scintillates the pride of those willing to be deceived. Many deny that they do it- especially the righteous upright. Especially the moral gate keepers who are quick to point out your lies and wrongdoings. But Lies have become the bread and butter of too many “upstanding” “political correct” deceivers. So when you have to defend the truth against a lie that has the strength to kill, you shake in your boots because even you see its allure.

Oh what a tangled web we weave/When first we practice to deceive. Not only do we deceive others but we deceive ourselves and we allow ourselves to be deceived. They catch up with us and expose us, maybe not to the world but to someone who thought better of us. One lie leads to another, until our whole life is built on lies and because there was no strong foundation, eventually, everything comes toppling down. Lies consumed daily become like oxygen, hard to survive without, they become so vital that even if they destroy us or those around us they become a necessary evil.

Lies may bring us the desires of the heart but they also take them. They may grant us fame but then mold us into infamy, they can be our salvation and our retribution. Lies may seem harmless but they are monsters when they are overfed.

Removing the Trash

Dreams still matter and dreams are still important. As many persons get older, moving from childhood to adulthood they stop dreaming. They believe the saying, “dreams are for losers” and begin to do and not dream. But a dream is a cherished aspiration, one that needs to be protected, nurtured and cared for in order to become activated. When we doubt our dreams and declare ourselves unworthy of them, we lose them and find it hard to recover them.

The trash we need to remove are the doubts in our ability and worthiness of having those dreams. When the world seems against our dreams we may start believing that they will never happen. We start becoming a part of the herd and walk right off a cliff. We begin to tell ourselves that we are too ambitious, too desperate or just not good enough to have those things or that thing we have dreamt about. That thing that got us up each morning ready to put with anything, because we knew one day our dream would be realized and then it would all be worth it. We start believing that “dreams are for those who sleep”. But we cannot listen to those fears, naysayers and doubters, especially when they are within.

We have to keep doing, even in the face of zero results. We have to keep chipping away at the rock until we see signs of the promise to be fulfilment, signs that eventual yield a trickle, a spout and then an outpouring. We have to take care of that dream, removing all the pollution, the trash that can stifle and kill it. We have to continue to be imperfect dreamers.

Fear No One

Fear No one

Do not be afraid of them
because you have the power
The power to dear down and destroy
To plant and to build.
I will give you unlimited power and you shall be called fearless.
When disaster strikes from the the North
stand firm.
When the heathens come knocking on your door
ready to penetrate
hold fast and hold firm.
Then when the think they have won
arise and dress and I will give you victory.
They may fight and cry like Hyenas
ready to tear your flesh
but they will not prevail,
only their blood curdling cries will keep them warm
as they are struck down
finally.

****************************************************

For I remembered them as lambs \
babes unspoiled.
Now from every pore 
thickened corruption festers and flows.
Damaged defeated and denied.
They look strong but beneath the surface
decay pulses with pus infected sores.
Hidden but not healed.
They shine with a beauty that sickens when seen
in the light.
They harvest but in vain
for the harvest is done
all that remain is the dust of a promise
not fulfilled.

Behold I have spoken
Let them do all the evil they can
But as for you - 
have no fear and fear no one.

Let Go

Maybe like me you can’t sleep at 11:30 in the night. You are right now wondering what to do about it. You have so many things going through your mind: Your mind cannot settle to enjoy the joys of peace. There are so many thinks that have gone wrong, are going wrong and could go wrong. But know at some point, if you want to sleep, if you want the peace you have to let it all go.

Staying up thinking of the worst case scenarios will change nothing. All you can do is live in the moment – and I mean truly live. Not sitting down waiting for the storm to pass, waiting to feel better. Not hoping you can solve the problems of the world – what a world it is. No, you have to let go of the the living nightmare you have inserted yourself in, walk away from self-destructive thoughts, actions or inactions. You have to let go and hold on to the sanity of calmness and fight against self doubt. By admitting that your do not need to be all, have all and know all you find your power. It takes real power of the mind and of the spirit and soul to let go and let things be, including you.

Things and people pass away, whether you are wake or asleep time marches on, people come and go and things change, even in a moment. So let go and do not cling to things that only harm you. Let go and do not make yourself a martyr or a bundle of pulsating nerves to be pitied and spoken about. It is okay to keep going when others choose to stop or are forced to stop. It is okay to be happy even in hard times, to feel gratitude at your bounty in times of scarcity. Let go of the guilt that has cut you down next to nothing and made you frozen in the place you have stood for several years now.

Give yourself the permission to be happy even in grief, to be happy to be alive when death intrudes and reminds you of just how frail you are. Do not long for the acceptance of others or their directions to tell you how to feel, think and act. Be your own director and channel your power from God. Be mindful of your moments and seize them with glee and know when to stop and rest and wait. You know when to let go so listen to that voice inside that tells you to do so, and do not look back. Let go and let God and just rest.

Life Puzzles

Life Puzzle

You see that pebble?
You get closer and it's an egg.
You see that puddle?
You jump over it
end up in it
nearly drowns.
Who woulda thought
it was a river?
the pieces never fit together at they promised.
Behind every shadow another emerges
to keep you on your toe
or knock you over
like a tornado 
monstrous and menacing:
a breeze gentle and refreshing.
The things you see
never see you
as you see them.
Monsters become people
the monster's inside you.
The puzzle is scrambles
because you are scrambled.
Each piece becomes you or will undo you.
whether they fall into place or not
depends on how clear your vision is.