Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
Isaiah 43:18
Don’t wait for a new week, a new day or the new year to start making changes. You know what you want and you know how to get it!
There are a lot of things in the past that in the past I have been stuck on. Sometimes I look back and which I could go back to make some tweaks here and there. Perhaps prevent a certain meeting or totally erase another. If only I could.
But sadly there is nothing we can do about what we have already done. But wouldn’t life be easy in the present if we could?
We will never know because it is impossible. While we focus on the past, our present is passing. There it is waving at us. It looks sorry for us- as it should, what a waste of a present!
Yes the present is a gift that will keep giving if we remain fully committed to it. Yet, many of us are careless with it and are either looking behind or ahead, but never living in the present.
We hurry to do everything and then wonder where the time went. We hope that one day we can get to live in the present. However it has been there all along, slipping between our fingers until very little is left to enjoy.
It’s important to remember what matters, let go of what is keeping you from holding to the present that you have for as long as you have it.
Do you get really anxious when the subject of the time you have to do all you want to do comes up?
It’s not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it. Life is long enough, and it’s been given to us in generous measure for accomplishing the greatest things, if the whole of it is well invested. But when life is squandered through soft and careless living, and when it’s spent on no worthwhile pursuit, death finally presses and we realize that the life which we didn’t notice passing has passed away.
If there was a great deal of truth in the words of Seneca, a Roman Stoic Philosopher, then the last part would be darkly humorous. Imagine complaining about something only to realize when you’re losing it that you had it all along but was too blind to see it for what it was. Oh the irony! And yet many of us are quite easily going down this truly ironic path. Life is too short! This is the cry of most.
Time is too short!
There aren’t enough hours in the day to everything that I want to do and accomplish!
The ironies of ironies is that those who cry, moan and complain about the shortness of time and therefore life, are the biggest procrastinators. Again of this I and many many more are guilty. I think we would be hard pressed to deny this. So we waste time, then complain that we did not have enough of it to do all that we wanted or were meant to do. Sounds about right!
So Seneca encourages us not to waste time complaining about the limited time we have to live our lives but to maximize it so we live purpose driven lives that lead to happiness contentment and NOT regret. In his essay, The Shortness of Life, he gives specific ways in which we waste time. Now do these sound familiar?
We waste time by:
Chasing wealth or what he terms, voracious avarice (sound nice to say too! Say it with me, Voracious Avarice)
Pursuing things that do not benefit us and that lead to very little meaningful returns.
Drinking and getting drunk, smoking, partying. Generally seeing live as a 24 hours happy hour event.
Trying to be at the top of the totem pole. Generally trying to win popularity contests as we seek to ambitiously get ahead.
Either try to conquer others or being anxious about being conquered.
Trying to please those above us in order to be in their good graces. Even though that won’t to where we want to be. But we are too blind to see this, until it is too late. Oops, time’s up!
Not really having a plan or as he puts it: Some have no goal at all toward which to steer their course, but death takes them by surprise as they gape and yawn (YIKES!)
Now honestly which have you been guilty of?
He goes further in his writing to bemoan our shortsightedness in allowing distractions (vices) that take us off track and prevent us from using the time we have in a more responsible way. The good news is that all of us are screwed! The rich, and seemingly most “successful” among us, are also capable of falling into this trap. Clearly he was not partial in his assessment. He further writes of our very human need to attain recognition from others, even while we do not take time to look at ourselves, and recognize our worth, but expect others to do so. Another serious crime committed by us all is the fact that too many people allow others to “trespass on their existence” – attention everyone, do not allow instances where others control your lives while here on this earth! These are things that we need to hear; it’s not that others are wasting your time, but you are allowing them to do so.
Interestingly, he notes the importance of reflecting on the past for self-assessment and for not repeating the errors once made. Sometimes we refuse to look too closely at things we have done because we know that we do not come out looking good! We would rather stay in the present, thank you very much, to worry more about our future. It is handy to remember that our past informs our present condition and plays a role in our future state.
Finally, one of the most dangerous and most destructive crimes we commit , is the fine art of being busy doing absolutely nothing. While he believed in the importance of pursuing philosophical truths, Seneca did not approve of people who really did things that had no true value on the quality of their lives or the lives of others. All those meaningless activities just to kill time (pun intended) really are our Achilles’ heel, in making the most of what we have.
Seneca ends with zero sympathy, and exposes those who waste time preparing for death and their post-life image, instead of enjoying the time they have in the land of the living and makes it clear that such persons are not worth our time:
some people even make arrangements for things beyond life — huge tomb structures, dedications of public buildings, gladiatorial shows for the funeral, and ostentatious funeral processions. Yet in truth, the funerals of such people should be conducted by the light of torches and wax tapers, as if they’d lived for the briefest span.
Seneca obviously did not mince his words!
And so I end with a word to the wise among us, ensure you use the time you have to do the things that matter most to you. Things that enrich your life while you have it. That’s the only way to show that you truly appreciate the life you were given. After all, you only live once!
There are many ways in which we can take the things that happen to us. We can freak out, get mad or stay sad, forever. It’s easier to develop a particular attitude, depending on what we think mostly happens to us. So things are great, life is great! Then disaster strikes and life is so unfair and then it becomes real rough staying above water. When we face difficulties that seem like a great epic – when will it end – we often say we are going through something. When we use that phrase, going through, then what we are really saying is that we are, at that moment, experiencing something unpleasant or difficult. But we never consider how that phrase reveals our inability to see the value of the experience. We only know that things are not going the way we want them to go! We become so consumed by the present situation that we forget that this thing is only for a moment and like everything else, will eventually pass…
our bodies are constantly in the river of change and transformation
Deepak Chopra
If we decide instead to grow through what we experience, then we go through the most difficult times stronger than we were before. We can come out on the other side better than we were.When we grow we magnify the potential locked within us and can not only tell the tale, but become an example to others that anything is possible, if we remain optimistic in the face of great adversities. We have to accept and allow the hard seasons in life to be our teacher; we can learn so much about ourselves, people and the things around us. So the next time you go through something, remember to practice your smile and laughter for the happiness to come.
If you take yourself seriously you will be offended the rest of your life
Deepak Chopra
Imagine if you lived a life that was totally free from worry about what others think and say about you? What if we did not what for things or people to make us happy? What if we try to find our own joy?
I say easier said than done!
When someone looks your way or seem to, you begin to wonder what they see when they look at you and then a full blown script has been written and performed in your brain because you just don’t know how to take being criticized. I can say that because sadly I have been doing a lot of this lately.
You are at the mercy of every stranger you meet on the street, if they say something nice you’re flattered for the rest of your life and if they say something nasty, you’re offended for the rest of your life.
Deepak Chopra
Sadly again we become so fixated on getting approval from others that we deny that we are doing it when we do it! Many – not all- cannot relax in any situation because our sense of well being is too dependent on how people react to us. We depend on the approval of others like how a drug addict depends on drugs to get a high. If the reaction is good we are on cloud nine but if it’s bad we are hang out limbo, waiting to see if we can redeem ourselves in the eyes of those who just rejected us.
So let us make a conscious effort not to take things so seriously, after all we are all playing with the hand that we were dealt. Many people dish out exactly what they see of themselves. So often it’s less about us and more about them. None of us are perfect, so really there is no perfect answer to any question or solution to a problem. Just do you, live your best life because there is nothing else you can do. Just put one foot forward and go about your day.
When people Show you who they are. Why don’t you believe them?
Maya Angelou
Bigger Than You.
Just Listen
Why are you mad?
why are you getting heated?
This was never about you
why are you waiting?
Standing there by yourself
No one told you to
No one expected that of you.
I’m lazy
So what?
This ain’t about you.
you’re scared?
I frighten you?
Miss
Who told you it was your fear to carry?
Why are you still here?
I thought you left
A long time ago.
Okay stay there.
Wait.
Stand there.
Expect more than you were promised.
If you want to wait
for the hundredth time
that’s your problem.
The poem above sums up the idea of how misguided we can be – more often than not. we project our secret hopes, desires and wishes on people and white wash their true character. We blame others for our unhappiness and disappointments. Personally, I believe that this is too much power to give another person over your live. Yet we continuously do so, needing to learn the lesson over and over – but never benefiting from it.
It’s dangerous to depend on others to make you happy and to make life worthwhile. The danger lies in the fact that you can actually create that person from your imagination and place this ideal in front of who they truly are. it is dangerous when you blindly follow that image to the detriment of your own peace of mind and even life! We feel compelled to give others the benefit of the doubt, even if it kills us. Quite literally. It becomes dangerous when we see the person for who they are but still insist on perusing that image. However, at this point it is no longer their problem, but solely ours.
Having faith and trusting in people is good. But this does not mean that we should abandon all common sense. There is something also very narcissistic in expecting others to be a certain way, the way you envision, “just for me“. In thinking that we have that special something that will compel them to believe that what has been working for them, is of no more value to them. The person who proclaims him or herself as being something specific, means that they genuinely believe it. It means that they accept and will always strive to be that way, no matter what others may say or think. It is not just that the person has a warped notion of self, but that they have self-determined who they are.
Believe them, do not make any excuse for them. Accept that not everyone will be the way you want them to be. Their words and actions are powerful because it shapes who they are. Accept that they sincerely know more about who they are, enough to clearly express it. Believe in their words and take comfort in their actions. And if it does not align with your vision, move along and be content in your disappointment.
According to the data in World War 1 an estimated 10 million military and 7 million civilians died with 21 million wounded and 7.7 million missing or imprisoned. During World War 2 over 60-80 million people died. Not only were there millions of death but for each war, but there are records of genocide being committed on particular groups of people. For the first world war it was the genocide of the Armenians and for world war 2 it was the Jews and other minority groups by the Germans. In all of that data is the question; was it worth it in the end?
On Sunday I sat and listened to the sermon and one concept stood out to me:
Freedom is not free, someone must pay the price in order for us to enjoy it!
Armistice Day a.k.a Remembrance Day, commemorates the armistice signed to end the first world war at 11 a.m. on the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. On this day a two minutes silence is held to remember those who have died in wars. Two minutes to remember what is now easily billions of people all over the world, killed for political and ideological beliefs.
Many of us cannot imagine being in the situation of being constantly facing death and uncertainty for a prolonged period of time, much less years at a time and live to tell the tale. I recently read an article by David Lammy [How Britain Dishonoured its African World War Dead] that sought to put closer to the forefront of W.W.1 narratives, African soldiers who served Britain in the first world war but who had been “written out of the story”. What is heartbreaking is the reality that the records never tell the true death tolls; they never allow many who died to be remembered. Many of those soldiers were never buried with the dignity that their service demanded and in his article, Lammy relates how dead soldiers had been left without the dignity of a grave, much less their names on a tombstone. However, such is the nature of war, along with the bolstering of pride is the reality of many many more left behind, their stories never finding itself on the pages of history, their names are now like them, dust blown away by the winds of time.
There have been many wars in the history of the world. There have been the need to defend, protect and take possession or repossession. However, what we sometimes forget are the real sacrifices that many made so that from war we could enjoy peace today. Many will argue that war eventually leads to a more peaceful and productive society -depends on who you ask, surely not those who have to live through it. But consider that the wars fought in ancient time cannot compare to the devastation of wars that have weapons that can cause mass destruction around the world in a short amount of time today. Peace is dangerous to those who do not benefit from it and we need to consider who do not.
Guernica by Pablo Picasso1937 shows the tragedies of war and the suffering it inflicts upon individuals, particularly innocent civilians. This work has gained a monumental status, becoming a perpetual reminder of the tragedies of war, an anti-war symbol, and an embodiment of peace.
And so we return to the simple case of wars.They continue today, and many of us are removed from them and therefore cannot imagine the devastation of such events.What is a fact is that war is something ever present and therefore we will always have the need to remember those who die because of them. As we remember, let us acknowledge that some will never have their stories told and their final resting place marked. Let us remember all the nameless and faceless who got no credit and who have died to make the dreams of others a possibility. Let us also remember that violence and misery are present companions for many around the world in 2019, where desolation never left and where war is still a reality and peace a dream. But most of all let us never forget the pity of war [Wilfred Owen] not just for some but all who have experienced wars, especially those in far flung places.
I was enjoying an Afro-Fusion song by a Nigerian artist, by the name Burna Boy and I wanted to understanding the message so I looked up the lyrics. When I saw the lyrics it was interesting to note that the Nigerian Pidgin/Creole was kinda similar to Jamaican Creole – not the same, but very close!
Dem no dey tell person (ja ara, ja ara) You go learn your own lesson (ja ara, ja ara) Everybody keep on searching (ja ara, ja ara) For miraculous blessings (ja ara, ja ara, ja ara) You go bow for Lagos oh (ja ara) If you no know yourself you go lost oh[] (ja ara, ja ara) If you get money you be bros oh (ja ara, ja ara) Omo nobody holy no apostle (ja ara, ja ara)
Anyway. so I looked up the lyrics but the message was still was missing me – seemed to be playing hid-and -seek. So I decided to look up the meaning. When I did this I came across a blog, Ogefash photo blog, that gave some insight. Apparently the song is saying to be smart about certain things. The first thing that stood in the songs is the line, “Ko Juba, ko juba”, which means to give thanks. Yes we all need to give thanks EVERY DAY.
Be smart about who you let into your circle, keep negativity out and welcome only positive energy: :Dem no dey tell person– In Nigerian pidgin, it’s a warning. Burna Boy is …telling him to be wiser.
Be smart about what you belief use the common sense God gave you and recognize when people are trying to fool you and use you in the name of whatever ideology they support: Omo nobody holy no apostle – This would mean that nobody only relies on prayers by clergy men or that no one is a saint. We need to tab into a greater source to realize our potential and to maximize it, in the best possible way. No one and nothing is a god on earth.
These are just a few gems we can take from the song, but it also speaks to not being so impressed by the things in the world that we becomes slave to it, mesmerized in it and lost to it. It reminds us to know who we are and operate in that knowledge. It also reminds us to care for those we need our care but be careful of those who seek to deceive us.
Language can never be a barrier to great music that has a good message. When you think you are about to give in to the temptations that can destroy, remember Ja Ara E!
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