Tag: thinking about things differently

Pray Your Own Prayer

I have come to realize that it makes no sense to see someone else and desire what they have. Take social media, we all know that what we see there is often times not real. The lives presented to us are not real, the situations are not real and the bodies often times are also not real. Yet, we fall into the trap of desiring what we see there. I was recently watching a YouTube video that pointed out that some of those popular fast fashion sites cater to a particular body type. Yet, you will still find women who buy those clothes to look like the models on the site. These same persons will then proceed to berate and discredit themselves because they do not look the same in the outfits that were never created for their body type.

It is the same in many areas of our lives. We may see a popular personality that spreads sunshine and roses. Who tell us to just be positive and pray real hard and one day your live too will come up smelling like roses. But guess what? It is okay if you find another path to happiness that does not mirror that person’s path. It is definitely okay, if you do not end up with the same results after seeming to follow in their footsteps, because you my dear, are not that person. You are not them and will never be. Secretly, There may be too many among us, who fall into the trap of living vicariously through those who seem to have reached the spot they one day want to occupy.

Some persons begin to think of all they can do to reach the same place as those they see as having succeeded. They get all the advice they can get, or, watch all the videos they can watch and seek out those experts who can give them what they don’t have. And yes some want to pray the same prayer/s that got those persons what they have. But here is the thing, you have to find your own way. You cannot encroach on some body else’s vision and plan for their life. You cannot go to the places they have been to or do the things they have done. You cannot pray that person’s prayer because it is specific to that person. You have to find your own way. Find what works for you and take the path that you can travel. You cannot pray Ciara’s prayer if you are [insert your name here].

Life is too short to be chasing someone else’s dream and trying to live someone else’s reality. Take a look at yourself, know yourself and love yourself enough to work on living a live suited for who your are, and not what you think you should be. Have dreams yes and work towards realizing them but make sure it is being done because and not in spite of who you are. We all need to be reminded of this for time to time. So pray your prayer but make sure it is your own unique prayer

Even in the Dark

Even in the dark, you can find your way. Even in the dark, when you are blinded by grief, pain and fear, you can still find your out.

Often times we cannot see beyond the here and now and that is totally okay. It is not that you or I have limited vision, it is that as we are only human we can only deal with one thing at a time. We can and should deal with what is happening in the present before we begin to live what could happen in the future. Many say you should visualize the future you want and believe it will be so. However, imagine if someone took those words at face value and just woke up each day and tried to visualize the future they want, would that mean they will have it? Some of us, whether we have ever acknowledged it or not believe this without thinking further. Some may not be willing to do what may be required to have that future someday be their reality.

It is the case especially for the untired inexperienced among us. You see, some of us learn the hard way that visualization on its own is not enough. Some of us come upon obstacles in our path that derail us too long. We become blinded by disillusionment and never recover our sight. Some do not know how to snatch a positive mindset from all the trials they face – because they were never prepared to face some of those challenges. They were not willing to fight tooth and nail, to push through those times that were so discouraging. Some gave up too easily and surrendered too much to the lie of “it is what it is”. We have been conditioned to see some of the darkest times in our lives as the sign that would determine the rest of our lives – a sad state of affairs really.

Instead, many of us need to have a new thought. No, we probably should not always accept that “it is what it is”. However, we need to to remind ourselves that even in the dark, there is always a light within us that can guide us out of those seemingly endlessly damp and cold tunnels. There is life given to us and we can use it to push back the cold to experience the warm rays of sunlight waiting on the other side. We are strong enough, to lift those heavy burdens and tilt them over into the precipice, so we can continue on our way to that future we have already been blessed to some day experience.

The Sickness Deep Within

The Sickness Deep Within


I am dying.
It's not a virus
that threatens
not a disease
incurable
but I have had this sickness
for a very long time
and will carry it for eternity.
I must remain in the dark
as the light slowly fades
because I cannot bear
the looks of disappointment
nor stand in judgement
to be condemned and stoned by all.
I must lay here alone and cold
starved of compassion
denied understanding
because this world does not love to hear the truth
within.
Instead I have been made to pretend
to deny what I have done
to hide my mistakes
for the sake of sensibilities.

I am dying
but before I do 
have mercy on me
shackled by approval I was not free.
It was not my intention
to let this secret kill me.

Smile Garden

Smile Garden


Smile
because everything 
will be okay.
Smile
because 
you made it today.
Smile
and store them in your treasure chest
and take them out
to chase away the pains tomorrow.
Smile
and watch your brain do a happy dance.
Smile
forget about your fears
and embrace the chance to sing and dance
for as long as you can.
Smile now
and do it really, really prettily 
for you see
this is when you beauty shines.
Smile
because you made it on the other side.
Smile 
don't forget to make it really wide
wide enough to catch the stormy clouds
that hang
just outside your reach
be the vision
make your smile the Elysian
and watch your smile
blossom and create a perfect memory garden.

Invisible One

Invisible One

Watch and see 
they are coming this way.
Ready?
1,2,3
"Hey you don't see mi here
am I invisible?"
How can they know me
if they don't see me?
everyday it is the same thing.
people try to sit on me
walk through me
step over me
and never look at me.
see to be seen
I must be loud
buy my own crown
and put it over my crown.
I must pretend to be
something that will be seen
just not me.
Ah mean
don't feel sorry - 
I don't.
But I know
I must find my hole
make it bold
make there my home.

Benched for Life

I was listening to a conversation recently and I could relate to what was being discussed. So I thought maybe many someones out there have felt this way too. Have you every felt benched in life? Yes you are working, socializing, seemingly living your life, but you are not in the game. You are not a player, but you have been played – at least once. You see others seeming to live their lives the way they want to, achieve certain things and you wonder if you have been crazy glued to that bench in the corner – out of sight out of mind.

There, everything happens in slow motion and you just cannot get things fully off the ground. When you see others hurriedly going about their business, there you are waiting. The waiting is the hardest when you sit without a plan and hope for the best. You wonder if you should protest or keep quiet, because making a sound may draw too much attention to the cracks you made on that bench.

Also, on that bench you feel trapped and you may find it hard to be happy, at one time or another, for those who are playing and winning – even if they are on your team. It’s not easy to be happy for everyone when you have come to see yourself as the dark horse without the success. Hard to feel compelled to even think of yourself as being in the game and so you try to divorce yourself from the whole situation, unsuccessfully too.

However, I think to be on the bench is to have placed yourself there. No one is keeping me or you or anyone on that bench. Sometimes we may walk off the pitch before the game is over, because we are so blinded by our as-not-yet experienced defeat. Or maybe we need to think of a game that fits who we are and where we are and not trying to live by a set of rules never intended for us – rules that guarantee our defeat. Maybe it’s not that we have been placed on the bench but that out of fear we choose to remain on it.

Boomerang Effect

I know sometimes we feel justified about feeling a certain way or reacting a certain way to someone or certain persons, but I have learned through hard lessons the importance of being restraint in how we react to things. We may feel it is necessary to call out someone on something they have said or done but in the long run we may be setting ourselves up for failure, if we try to police others while leaving our own vulnerabilities exposed for lurking vultures to pick at.

Now, I am not saying that is wrong to voice your displeasure about something. Before we do so however, we have to understand the place from which we are speaking from. We also have to think, really think if the perceived issue is based on our own shortsightedness and biases rather than a real genuine concern that by voicing, will lead to a productive outcome. We may feel justified in the moment when we put someone on the spot for what we see as a wrong done to us or others, but are we being disingenuous? Is it about shaming that person into submissiveness based on our position or is it about having a healthy discussion about what we can do to make something better.

Sometimes the wisest course is to mind our own business, if something we see and find displeasure in harms no one but our egos. There is nothing wrong nowadays in following the adage of “live and let live”. Yes, we have our own agenda’s our own perspectives on things but we have to consider if sometimes when we try to correct someone we are not actually trying to foist our agenda on them, because their perspectives do not align with ours.

Life can be so tricky sometimes, because there are times when we feel we are in the right but end up in the doghouse. Often times it is how we choose to approach a matter by saying too much or by saying all the wrong things. Being on the defensive does not guarantee success, instead from what I have experienced and observed, it can lead you in a trap which you will find difficult or impossible to get out of.

So, we need to be more careful and think about if our words or actions, or both, can lead to a boomerang effect, where in trying to be righteous and put others in their place we do not end up being checkmated when all we wanted to do was make a point that should never have been sharpened.

Some belief in karma others belief in fate, lady luck, kismet you name it, but our actions have consequences and this we must remember. The same energy you give out will be directed back at you. Therefore it is better to begin from a place of love, understanding and healthy dose of compassion, instead of one grounded in self-righteousness that makes you the “weak might” that ends up never being in the right when all is said and done.