Tag: God is good.

Words Matter… Context is Everything.

Following up on my article yesterday about being referred to as being “nice” or “too nice”, I had exchanges with two people on the word nice and how it can be viewed and what it says about the person being described in such a way. I would like to put both responses and then give my own as well.

Response 1: I agree with this wholeheartedly. “Nice” often feels like a shallow label — something people use to box you into compliance, to make you more palatable, or to take advantage of you without acknowledging your depth. It’s a performance that benefits others more than it does you, and it comes at a real cost to your mental, emotional and even physical well-being. Kindness, on the other hand, is a deliberate act. It comes from strength, not obligation. It doesn’t require self-erasure or perfection but instead demands authenticity and discernment. Being kind means honouring yourself first, setting boundaries and then choosing to extend care when it’s genuine. That’s real goodness. You’re right, Moonshine, nice gets you drained, but kind keeps you whole, and there’s nothing wrong with disappointing people if it means you finally stop disappointing yourself.

Response 2: “Nice” is an adjective that describes something as pleasant, agreeable, or satisfactory, but it can also mean kind, friendly, or polite in reference to a person’s behaviour. I think nice is a word that has evolved over time. When you see the definition of nice in the quote, then you may start to feel happier about the word. The bible doesn’t use the word nice, it is true, but the language of the day may have needed more emphasis. I sense your hurt deeply. Try and reframe the word nice to the above definition when remembering, I’m not sure if that will help…

According to Google, the word nice originally meant “ignorant” or “foolish,” derived from the Latin nescius, meaning “not knowing”. Over centuries, it evolved through French and English into a broad range of meanings, including “fussy,” “delicate,” “strange,” “shy,” and “dissolute”. The modern meaning of “pleasant” or “agreeable” emerged in the mid-18th century and is the sense that has become most common today. It is fascinating that although the modern interpretation and meaning are positive, I still felt the negative connotation of nice as a label when it was spoken to me. Nice, based on my readings, can be a dismissive (back-handed)compliment, meaning that someone is viewed as overly accommodating to gain approval. Added to this is the idea that someone who is overly accommodating prioritises the needs, desires, and comfort of others to such an extreme that their own needs, well-being, and sense of self are consistently neglected, often leading to burnout, resentment, and being taken advantage of. So, being called nice is for me an insult because of the situations and conversations in which the word was said. Nice, on its own, can be taken at face value as something good, but even the person using it may not be consciously aware of it. When I look at my life, it has been chapters written by an overly accommodating person who has made too many decisions that were not based on my skills, talents or interests but out of the need for approval by society or people I come in contact with and establish some type of relationship. So I do not want to be nice. I want to evolve.

I want to evolve to just being kind. Now again, according to Google, “kind” has two primary meanings: a type or sort of something, and having a friendly, sympathetic, or benevolent nature. Both meanings stem from the Old English word gecynd, meaning “natural disposition” or “nature,” which itself comes from the Proto-Germanic root kundi-, related to kunjam (“family”) and ultimately the Proto-Indo-European root gene-, meaning “to give birth”. This root suggests an original sense of inherent nature, class, or generation, which evolved into both the concept of a “kind” or category and the sense of natural, positive feelings associated with one’s family, leading to “kindness”. Being kind is all about authenticity. From the definition and explanation above, I want to take the term “natural disposition” and, from that, look at its synonym “innate”. Innate means something that exists in a person or thing from birth, is an essential part of its nature, or is a natural, inherent quality rather than something learned or acquired through experience. Being nice is authenticity that does not require compensation or overcompensation. In the bible, the word nice is never used, but the word kind can be found in several scriptures:

Galatians 5:22-23 -“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Ephesians 4:32 -“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”.

1 Corinthians 13:4- “Love is patient, love is kind”

Proverbs 12:25: “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up”.

2 Samuel 9:7: “And David said to him, ‘Do not fear, for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan, and I will restore to you all the land of Saul your father, and you shall eat at my table always. ‘”.

The bible is saturated with examples of Jesus engaging people with truth, challenging their behaviour, thoughts and intentions. Being kind means showing love, being compassionate, forgiving and upholding truth. It means uplifting others, reflecting the love of Christ. Being kind means having the courage to say no, even if it causes discomfort, speaking the truth, even if no one agrees or supports your action. Being kind takes strength, and it takes courage. One of the most vivid depictions of this is the incident where Jesus went into the temple and overturned all the commercial tables, saying, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!”. It was not done to please those people but to save their souls, to save worshippers from exploitation. He was not nice, but he was kind. His motive was to save them and make them aware of their danger in carrying out such activities in the house of the Lord. In that situation, he did not focus on being agreeable or avoiding disturbances; he was not seeking followers and so was not concerned about projecting an image palatable to those he chastised. Further, he did not avoid the truth of the situation by remaining silent, nor did he do it expecting to receive applause. He was not trying to be nice, but he acted out of kindness even if the people at that time did not recognise it as such.

So when I consider all these, I have to say there is a value in being kind and not nice that I want to achieve. I do not want to be nice because nice has kept me silent, rooted and furled tight like a flower that is still waiting to bloom. The bible holds truths and lessons that cannot be negated, and one such truth is the importance and value of being kind. It’s nice to be nice, but it’s much more powerful and freeing to be kind.

“My life got better when I realised I didn’t have to be nice. Nice got me run over, stressed out, & disrespected. I’m not nice. I’m a good person.” (unknown)

It’s Not Yourself You Doubt…It’s God

There I am giving myself a pep talk for the hundredth time, “Come on, stop doubting yourself.” Then an epiphany, it’s not myself I doubt, it’s God.

I seem to have often lost sight of God in the confusion of trying to find myself – ironic. What is that even about? I have noticed that it is hard to know yourself when you don’t trust yourself to do anything without making a mistake or outright failing. What I know, then becomes covered by failings and regrets. So, I don’t trust myselves to do the simple things, for I see potential failure in every action. But there is something even more sinister at play. When I doubt myself it’s because I am using myself as a scapegoat. Yes, that was the true epiphany, behind the self-disgust and self-criticism is the sad truth, I don’t trust God to fulfil His promises to me.

What are the Promises of God?

God has promised to strengthen us when we are weak. However, many people become weak because they forget this promise or don’t believe it. It can seem impossible to believe in the middle of a challenging situation. God has also promised to take care of all our needs. Yet, we often doubt how we will receive the things we need and how we can accomplish certain tasks. We forget that God has already promised to take care of our needs. When we fail to get what we need, we blame ourselves for not being enough, not being smart enough, or not being resourceful enough. However, we fail to acknowledge that we have totally ignored the promise from God to take care of all our needs. Then we pray for God to help us and then turn to unqualified, ill-equiped persons just like ourselves forgetting that we have to wait. We do not wait for an answer but proceed to answer our own prayer to God in a timeline that suits our desires and not the desires of God. God promises to work everything out for our good, yet we get disappointed when we don’t get the job, or end up where we don’t want to be. We feel that there was something we could have done to make things happen in the way we think they should happen. We are not thankful for the rejections, for the nos and for the delays. Really we get mad at ourselves for not being enough. The sad truth is we don’t trust God to know what is best and just leave it all to Him. He promises to be with us and to protect us but we never remember this when we feel alone, we wonder what’s wrong with us, why we have no friends and we try to mould ourselves into people pleasers to keep those who were never meant to stay with us around. We are not confident that God can take care of us, so we worry about everything and everyone and never venture beyond what we can see and understand. Then there is the promise of freedom from sin. Here we feel our sins can never be forgiven no matter what because they are so bad, so unforgivable, even though God already promises through His words, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed (John 8: 34-36). We are keeping ourselves shackled to our sins by not believing that we are free of them through Jesus Christ. And because of these doubts, we lack the peace that comes from God. We cannot find it in exercise, yoga, motivational quotes or daily affirmations but in the word of God, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:26–27).

Now, the safest way to combat your doubts is to live in the word of God. I have been guilty of skimming and not living in God’s word to my detriment. It can seem hard to daily turn to the word of God for sustenance and the enrichment of our faith, but it is vital for survival. We are too busy, but are we making the effort to find the time. As for me, I know I am not and that is not a good place to be. It is vital to the survival of our relationship with God and victory over the challenges that rush at us on a daily basis. Also, we have to strengthen our prayer life and be consistent in all things, whether we see them as major or not. When our communication and connection with God is undermined then doubts creep in and take hold because we have lost sight of the one who truly sustains us. We have to nurture our relationship with God so that our faith grows. We have to practice letting go and letting God no matter the outcome. We have to trust, that His ways are always better than our way. We have to trust that He will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert for us. Not because we deserve it or because we have earned this great and wonderful gift, but because He is faithful and does not give us what we deserve but what we require.

One Constant

There is one constant,
God does not change.
He keeps His promises
This does not change.

He is the light
that challenges the dark tide,
washes away faithlessness
with unmatched love.
Death and destruction are never satisfied.

He is all that is at the very essence of Satisfaction

You Reap What You Sow

Sounds ominous, doesn’t it? It does not have to be. We really need to hear this – be reminded of this -when we are too distracted sowing all kinds of seeds, the good, bad and ugly. Well some of us, never seem to sow bad seeds and this is such a breath of fresh air. Some never sow the seed they intended which could have been avoided with a little self-assessment from time to time.

What we can do to reap a good harvest is to avoid becoming complacent. Though we hear this often, many of us do become complacent and the result of complacency is like walking through sargasso to get to where you are going. By inaction, many create longer roads with harsher conditions to get to their destination. What may help is to act with intention in even minor tasks. As a result, it remains for us to be vigilant so we can confidently reap the best things we can reap.

Also, know that your thoughts matter, Some may even say they matter more than our actions. What you decide to implant in your mind will determine your yield. If the messages are always negative, with nothing leading to your upliftment, the result will always be negative. To avoid always living in fear means to remove things, thoughts and ideas that are based on fear. Be positive in your outlook and be thankful instead of complaining and worrying. These could include what we see in the news, choose to speak about with our friends and even what we think. All need these need to be regulated. Trust me, it is so easy to be swept along but we can stand no matter what the situation to yield a good crop.

Finally, we must remain confident. What we sow we do indeed reap and so this can be an encouragement. It encourages us to sow good thoughts, actions and words. Those that uplift our lives and the lives of those we meet. So, before you sow think of what you will reap and make sure it will fragrant your life and the lives of others.