Category: self-care

Fill Me Up

Fill Me Up

I stop at the well
parched,
too week to lift my basket
i rest against it.
Just a drop
of hope renewed
to wake me from deep sleep.
I have gone grey 
before my time
parched
near dust.
Here I know
no prince charming to wake me up.
I need no dare-devil
to shake me awake.
What I need is to be filled!
Filled with love, laughter and life.
I need you to pour into me
all the good around you that you see
touch, taste and feel.
Fill me up
so I will thirst no more.

So Much Love to Give

So Much Love to Give

She has so much love
to give to the world
stored up in her basket.
But the world refused it.
So she sent it down the stream
to protect it
from the evil inside of all a we.
She said "Momma River 
take care of it,
and send it back whole".
So much love to give
to the whole damned world.

She divined the stars and moon
journeyed with the Sun
and fought many a mansoons
to find that love basket.
She even stopped at the dreaded Poison Ivy
to ask her the way.

 Now she stands on the head of Goliath
silently,
calmly,
observing all before her to guide the way.

me against Me. Always

Does it always seem you have to be guarding against yourself. Is your greatest enemy you? In a lot of ways, we can be our harshest critic and our greatest liability. I am not here to sprout any words of wisdom, not today at least but to ask some really important questions for self-reflection.

Question 1: Who taught us that we need to be perfect? At what stage in life did we accept that our value lies in successfully jumping the hurdles life places before us? I have come to recognise in myself a need for perfection that has time and again led to some very imperfect results. it seems the more we strive for perfection the worse we perform. However, recognising this very poor tendency to aim for perfection does not mean it is easy to overcome. When I think I have mastered the art of accepting my flaws I am reminded that indeed I have not!

Question 2: Why are we obsessed with the past time of comparing ourselves with others? We know that comparison is the thief of joy, but we persist in doing so. There is no way that I can be anyone other than myself and yet we may find ourselves being drawn into this unwanted sport of comparisons.

Question 3: Why do we try to please others? I have been guilty of trying to fit into the mould someone created form. Do you know what happens when you squeeze into a mould not designed for you? If you are successful in your squeezing it disfigured you. You morph into a contradictory shape of the original that will never match it, to even come close to it.

Question 4: Why do we hold on to things that are destroying us? This is one of the saddest and scariest things we do. We know we should let go, we tell ourselves we will and yet actually doing so is so painfully hard. Why? I think fear has a lot to do with it.

Question 5: Why do we allow fear to control us? I think life would be so much better if we became fearless. Not a little more fearless, because too many persons have no concept of what it is to be fearless. There are too many of us who allow fear to control every decision, every action and every word we utter. We have to find and way to do things, say things and be in spite of those naggingly annoying fear waiting to trip us up.

There is no easy answer to overcoming self-sabotage. It’s a daily struggle we have to fight with and win. Keep fighting.

It’s Okay,

It's Okay,

It's okay,
we aren't friends
but I still love you.
I wish you the best
and I pray
God takes care of you.

It's okay,
we will never be "good"
but I will uplift you
as a real sister should.

It's oaky,
that you hurts me
so bad,
I wont turn on you
I will set you free.

It's okay,
we will never be "cool"
unlike you I wont be cruel
but I will never be your fool
for you to school.

Lasting a Lifetime

Lasting a Lifetime

My companion
always 
inside,
deep down inside.
Daily Healing wakes up
and get's to work:
She says "honey you've been hurt
deeply."
She speaks so sweetly,
that the pain becomes
a dull throb
that soothes
the silent sobs that hurt gleefuly brings.

It lasts a lifetime,
inside of me,
deep, deep down
inside of me,
and daily,
I must heal.

Waiting to be Chosen

Do you see her over there sitting still feet tapping away? He is waiting to be chosen. Do you see her on her knees bleeding, she has been in that same spot all her life trying to earn some love, seeking someone to pat her on the head and say, “well done.” She is well trained to wait, wait to be chosen. They struggle to get up but are weighed down by the voices of their critics and the mountain of self-doubt that has blocked their progress. They both will remain where they are if they never cast off the chain of subjugation and stop waiting for the grudging approval of those they love or loathe, those they fear or envy. The ball is in their court but they do not have the vision to see that it is.

They at some point will realise that being liked is not all that great, because it has meant they have been left empty by marauding figures fronting as their friends. You see they had never taken the time to just be by themselves and think things through. They had always felt out of breath from the seemingly constant need to catch up. But they never could, they never did. They never could! They were chasing something that never was. While they chase time they missed out on their present. They thought chasing would take them to their dreams but they forget to count the moments right in front of them. So while they cleared a space to put those they felt belonged they had pushed themselves out and they could not return, the space was now too crowded and no one would let them in, again.

Now they stand on the edge looking in, while all around them fertile soil go to waste because they never realised they could start again, wiser than they were yesterday. What they do instead, is work harder to get admitted again, but the danger is that they make it easier for more faults to be found and the entry requirements do get longer. The sad thing is that they wanted to shower all their love on those who are careless with this love but they never spare any time to really like themselves. SO they languish in the waiting room trying to earn that spot when all they had to do was to choose themselves instead of waiting to be chosen.