Author: Simone

Perfection is overrated. I’m sure you know this by now. If not then don’t worry, you’ll get there.

Many of us know that one person who makes us say “look at her, she thinks she’s perfect”. Along with our disdain is envy at their success in making perfection stick. While we struggle to get even the basic done, they have circled us many times and counting.

However, the perfectionist has no concept of failure. It’s not in their vocabulary. As such, they live their lives constantly on the edge. They try to be everything to everyone. They spend their entire lives catering to the needs of others, in order to be praised for their efforts. Always looking for validation from others who say:

“No one can do it like you can”

“You are so perfect”.

My advice if any one were to tell you this would be to run. Run as far as you can away from that person. This is why; they are not looking for a real flesh and blood person but an image that they have molded and covered you under. For the rest of your life you will have to perform as Ms or Mr Perfect. This is a challenge that will lead not only to their bitter disappointment but yours as well.

It has been said that perfectionism makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks.

What makes the situation of a perfectionist even more tragic is the impossibility of the effort. There is no perfect perfectionist. If there was, then the world would be…perfect! There would be nothing to aspire to. You would just be.

Instead many persons live their lives trying to ignore their imperfections until they are tripped by them. They experience a fall that may end up being too damaging for them to recover from. Their only consolation is a life long stay in motel regret.

Avoid Regret At All Cost!

What we should aim for is a celebration of our imperfections. We have been conditioned to belief that mistakes are bad and the worse the mistake the more we should be punished. So when we step beyond the line, we are beaten back, into submission to “toe the line”.

Some believe that we must show regret when we make mistakes, mistakes that should haunt us for the rest of our lives. This mindset comes with the burden of trying to be perfect. Many see regret as something negative, however it is at those moments, when we are at our worst that we should give the best we have to give.

Instead of hiding and allowing your mistakes to consume and ruin your life, hold them up to the light and examine them carefully, so that those pitfalls can be avoided in the future. We can grow beyond, and out of our regrets. But only if we stop feeding them. When we are able to shake off the cloak of perfection, and accept that things happen because that is the way they are suppose to happen, then will we be content in any situation.

We should always be aware that the struggles that we face is worse for someone else. And though it is worse for others, they are still able to overcome and grow in spite of them.

when we try to assume a perfect image, regret becomes a killer of the soul. Stuff happens and nothing is guaranteed. When we operate outside the lines of a perfect world, there will be no regrettable experiences, just experiences.

It’s the start of yet another work week. It…is… Monday.

At this pronouncement I am sure I can hear many cries of dismay and the shattering glass of our weekend illusion. Our disillusionment will be at its peak until around Wednesday. Until then we have very little to console us. It’s back to the grind of the work week, back to yet another week of helping to build someone else’s dream. With this attitude we are not sure how much will get done or even if we really care.

But this is only if you do not love what you are doing. We do our best when we do what really matters to us. there are many who look forward to going to work or school because they love what they do when they go there. No matter how tired they may feel, no matter the obstacles they face, they are always ready to try again and give a little more. They walk, talk, act and think with a purpose.

If you fall in the former, it means that you need to come out of that comfort zone that for you, leads nowhere. Move from behind your fear of failure and rejection and take the time to really find your purpose and live it.

This sounds a lot easier said than done. Trust me it’s a lot easier to type the truth than to actually practice it. Also, it’s always easier to give advice than to take it. But if we really are doing things that make us unhappy, why are we not willing to fight for our happiness? Why do our lives have to be whirlpools of unhappiness that blind us from living our purpose.

We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be miserable for the rest of our lives. this sounds a bit dramatic but it is the truth. In whatever area of our lives: personal or professional, we and no one else, have the key to us being happy.

So as we reach another full moon,come February 19 that will eventually lead to a new one, let us consider if we need to come out of the rut that we have been sitting in for years and finally do something that signals a desire for change.

Let us be brave enough to not only have dreams, but to live them. Let us not just have intentions and set goals, but begin to act on them. Let us find fertile soil to plant them in, so one day we can have a harvest. That secret treasure that you have will remain useless and valueless if no one knows about it.

As you get up and get ready to face the world keep these words from Diana Ross in mind:

The time has come for me
To break out of the shell
I have to shout
That I’m coming out

Recently, I found myself in a position many people find terrifying nowadays. I lost my phone…

For the past months I have been, beseeching, moaning and groaning about my useless phone. I had to and needed to get rid of my phone. I needed a new one that would do all that I wanted it to do, in the fastest and most efficient manner.

I would sometimes forget to complain about the phone, because I was complaining about my laptop. That too needed to go. It just was not working. Neither of them brought me a sense of satisfaction.

When I had just gotten my phone, I was excited by it newness. It was something to be proud about. I had always wanted to buy one like it and now I had it.

However, the euphoria lasted until I noticed all the problems I had not noted on the day of purchase. The space was not enough for me to do anything much; it wasn’t like my old phone; I which I still had my old phone. Those complaints eventually became, I wish I had a new phone. Something bigger and better. Something more my style.

There was nothing that could console me. Some of my daily mantras became: I need a new phone or I hate this useless phone.

Today instead of me breaking up with my phone, it broke up with me. It decided it was tiad of all my complaining and chose to rest in a spot where I could never retrieve it. And I had to be fine with it.

After all I had complained bitterly about the phone and I was desperate to get rid of it.

In coming to terms with my leading role in the loss of the phone, I encountered gratitude. I realized that the phone had been very useful to me and had provided me with good dependable service. However, I had been too busy focusing on its fault to truly recognize this.

Sometimes we become so fixated on the problems that we never find a solution. When we choose to be ignorant of our blessings they feel unwelcome, unappreciated and so, decide to leave us and find a more congenial host.

That taxi ride from halfway tree to Mona did not only mean the breaking of ties with my phone but also a reintroduction to gratitude.

Without the phone, I could focus on important tasks and not be distracted by what was on it. I could part with something I saw as valuable, because I realized that nothing was ever meant to stay with us forever. our world and the things in it are transient.

So I chose to focus on some of the good that came with this loss. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that you are not a slave to the things you own, nor paralyzed by their loss, but can adequately function in spite of their usefulness.

So in losing the phone, an experience that should have been stressful, I was calm and very accepting and even a little happy. I had gotten what I had wanted. And being upset or feeling sorry for my situation would have been a bit hypocritical. So I learnt it was important to be honest with yourself and others.

We all have stories of being introduced to gratitude; for some the introduction is more painful than for others. We are our best when we allow those “difficult times” and situations to edify and uplift. When we choose to be grateful “in spite of” instead of “because…”

Therefore, while most of those I told were feeling sorry for me, saying, “oh poor thing. I could never!” I was grateful that I had had the phone and what it allowed me to do. I was also grateful because I knew that I would eventually get another one. I am more prepared to be grateful when I did get it by being thank that I will, although I have not seen it yet.

When a change seems terrifying and unimaginable we need to remember that there have been many changes before that were terrifying that we survived and conquered. Gratitude should not be shown only when things are great for us but more so when things seem to be at their worst. That is when we learn, grow and change.

How many of us have often heard these words of wisdom, “in order to be successful you have to… 10 things you need in order to be successful… 50 things you should give up if you want to be successful… 100 habits you need to adopt… and so forth.

The last two may be exaggerations, but you get the point.

We sit up and listen. Because, who doesn’t want to be successful? We take notes carefully and we make sure we watch ever motivational video in sight; from the comfort of a chair, a settee or our beds. we believe if we watch them enough then one day success will come along and make us succeed.

We watch someone’s life story of success and we know we can make it too!

sadly many of us have been waiting for a long time to make it. We do what we are told, what is expected and what is right. But somehow we never can get to the finish line because often times we are not at the start of the race. We are still warming up. As the sun comes up, rises in the sky and is ready to go down, we are still warming up.

We have to think about all the possible dangers, foresee all the possible challenges and be ready. But, it still remains, we have not moved from the planning stage.

Then, while we are still planning and projecting our fears, doubts and perceived shortcomings on others, here comes that person who never even prepared! Who zips by us into the race and is halfway at the finish line! we stand stunned as they sprint happily along minding their own business, as we wonder how we will catch them. Dreaming of sticking out our tongues as we pass them. Ready to let them know their place. But guess what? We still have not started!

We imagine, and imagine and imagine as they run their race. To our right, someone else steps out, and we wonder what makes them so confident that they can do that. After all, we have been here some time now! We have been patiently waiting our turn! Right?

At this point we begin to wonder if that was the right thing to do, and yet another person sets off. Before we know it, the entire field is full with runners everywhere! In the middle of yet another warm up session we realize, this is not going to work.

By this time our muscles are a bit stiff from lack of use and we fear it may be too late to enter the race. But we still begin, finally. Though we have to start out slow for fear of injury, we do not quit. As we go we experience the first taste of success.

We are finally on our way.

Imagine uma nova historia para sua vida e acredite nela

Paulo Coelho

Can you feel the cool

burst

of something new and fresh?

Can you feel something flick and

flutter gently across your skin?

feel the essence of which you have always been

as it wraps around you

hold you

comfort you

heal you

Stretch so high and so wide

beyond all and every limitations.

Open your eyes wide to the truth.

To the reality that can construct

and just be true

to you.

Now stand.

Firmly in the knowledge of your own power.

To change the story that has been written

by someone else for someone else

who could never carry all of you.

Because you cannot be contained.

Reach,

Grab that thread that

will take you to where you should have always

been.

Hold it tightly.

Absorb its energy.

And make it real

so it can never die.

Sometimes your only available means of transportation is a leap of faith

Margaret Shepard

We all have places we need to be, want to be and would like to be. However, many of us never get to where it is we ought to be. Why is that? Have you ever wondered?

A few of us may try to answer this by saying that we picked up responsibilities we did not plan for along the way, or, responsibilities picked us up when we weren’t careful enough!

Whatever your likely answer, the point is that we are still waiting for the ticket to be made that will secure a smooth journey. Guess what? Any ticket we see floating pass us will never be the right one.

All the answers that we come up with are just excuses. They help us to feel better when we allow fear to control us.

“Oh its not because I am afraid, it’s because the time is not right!” So… who are you trying to fool?

Guess what again?

The time will never be right. There is no perfect time to make your move.

In the words of Luvvie Ajayi, “get comfortable with being uncomfortable“. And sometimes that means stepping out into the unknown. A thought that is absolutely, positively terrifying. But guess what?

It is absolutely necessary, for real change to take place.

So, as the new year starts getting old. Yes old. And so do you; one year older. Are you willing to take that leap of faith? Are you willing to step on that bridge that seems about to collapse and start that change?

Though you may have many false starts, (I definitely know what I am talking about here), never let that cripple your momentum. Never let fear contain and disable you. Never wait on any person to tell you when.

I carved myself today….

Remember?

The old rotting wood?

Termites everywhere?

See

These chinks now have new chinks to play with.

I made the nose myself

love it!

The Hair…

It was hard to control.

But I love it!

Ahah…

The hips got too wide.

I smiled.

The legs as thick as a tree trunk.

But they fit.

There was some drooping here and there

but I used some sticks to the keep them afloat.

What do you know?

It worked!

There is a crooked spot… but it will get the job done.

But the shoulders were broad broad

To take on the whole world… if necessary.

Hopefully not.

The lips thick enough to voice all displeasure

Gentle enough to smile and laugh

in the face of all opposition to my beauty, intelligence. my strength of conviction.

The hands were enough

to fling you out the way

if I must.

Gentle but Knowledgeable enough to heal.

Feet big enough to walk any path taken.

It was tall enough to overlook your limited vision

of me.

It was firm enough to survive any attack.

Today I carved myself…

It will live forever…