Tag: thinking about things

Reality

Oh I was high
I wwas on fire...

Reality why are ou so cruel?
Why do you make me cry into the night
Too few spots of delight
Why
Are
You 
So
Cruel!
Reality
Get up off my neck - 
send help!
I cry
Mo' life
Even as I die.
Reality
You have cracked the mirror
Fed me venom filled fruits
I feel so used and abused.
Reality!
Reality!
Come and answer to your crimes
against humanity.

So Much Love

I have so much love to give
it ridiculous
but this crazy world
just fuss and cuss
the love under the rug.
I sit and ponder
with my two brain cells,
how I wonder
why the lust and vanity
for measly inanities.
I could be wrong
but I stand strong
on the truth that 
this world won't be here long
it must pass
with all the shattered class
trampling down Jah grass.

I have so much love to give
till it overflowing
and I feel like throw in the towel
because it devalue and hard to revalue.
walking down the road 
from a distant coast
a old radio a wonder 
"where is the love".

I wonder if old will bring new?

Emotional Regulation

https://selfinjury.bctr.cornell.edu/perch/resources/what-is-emotion-regulationsinfo-brief.pdf

Does this chart seem familiar in some way? If you have been here before or, you are now here, not to worry, you are not alone. Emotional regulation according to Ross A Thompson

emotional regulation consists of the extrinsic and intrinsic processes responsible for onitoring, evaluating, and modifyinh emotional reactions, especially their intensive and temporal features, to accomplish one’s goals

Thompson, “Emotional Regulation: A Theme in Search of Definition

The situation does not have to be work-related. It can concern any and all aspects of our lives and how we are able or unable to regulate our emotions can determine the quality of life we have.

Emotional Regulation Explained

So this will take some work and we cannot do it on our own, so we need help. But we can start and see where things lead. It’s not easy but it’s necessary….

Real Life OVER Reel Life

Well, living the reel life has gotten a little out of control for me and so I have to take a step away from reel life to live a real life. Listen, as entertaining as social media can be, it can be just as destructive, some would say even more. In other words, the entertainment that it offers conceals the dangers that are lurking in every view, tweet, mention, hashtag, handle or caption. When I started watching YouTube, it was for educational and research purposes ONLY. I would get on YouTube, get the information I needed, use it and continue with my day. Most of my time was spent living my life, confronting all the challenges and triumphs in MY life. That is right, MY LIFE.

Until I got sucked into this rabbit hole of being a subscriber, receiving notifications and thinking that I had to watch, engage and support these channels that provided information and yes, entertainment. I found myself being aware that I was spending too much time on the platform but seemingly unable to step away and just get on with things in my own life, I stayed glued, ready to watch when a new video came out. Then it became a crutch, when I was sad, I would watch a video or videos to laugh and relieve stress, to learn how to cook something, learn about a place, what to wear, what to eat, when to eat, how to eat, when to be mad, at what and at whom to be mad. It became a lot. It was too much. But I kept watching.

Then I started noticing that I was not enjoying MY life as much (but that made no sense). I became dissatisfied with everything and everyone in my life (again I could not put my finger on why that was). It seemed to make more sense to spend hours watching someone else living THEIR life. Until it felt weird. Sifting through the madness of that person’s life with them or getting another message that somehow contradicted last week’s message. Until you realise that what you see is not all there is and what you think is not how things are. When you come to accept that there is an algorithm ready to keep you addicted, you need to shut it down.

You need to push back your seat or get off the bed and leave. Take a step outside and remind yourself that you can use your time to live your life instead of watching what someone out there is doing, preaching, saying or ranting about. Your day should not consist of moving from one video, “reels” or “shorts” to the next that in the end make you more unsettled than anything else.

When you do step away you realise how much more you can get done, you can do more of the things you like watching others do and you can go to your own places too! A screen is just a screen. whether it is a television, laptop or phone screen. That screen tells you no matter how much you relate and it seems similar, you have entered a world not your own. So the aim should be to live in your real world, grow and thrive there and make memories based on what you can capture of your life and not one geared towards your entertainment. While there is useful information out there, your life should not be bogged down by all that is out there. Step away for a while, get back in tune with you and your life and leave the nose behind.

That Lesson is the true Blessing

Often times when “bad” things happen to us we question why. We feel and act like victims and may even curse the day we were born. It is not easy to navigate this life when your intentions do not bear the kind of fruits you had in mind. Too often people, like me and you, become disillusioned with the twist and turns that punctuate our lives. DIsturbances as we see them, that happen maybe when we least expect them or produce our greatest fears. There is a tendency to be angry in these situations, to feel trapped and oppressed.

So, it is hard to think that there is anything good to see in these situations much less to see them as a blessing. I have learned that hard times produce the opportunity for us to not only mature but to flourish. When we get too comfortable where we are, we may feel reluctant to “rock the boat”, and accept where we are, who we are and how we have come to be perceived as our lot in life. But here comes those lessons that say, “no this is not your final destination, you have to be stretched a little more, melted down to the liquid fire and beaten into a new shape”. We are there resistant, resentful and hopeless, waiting for it to end. By it I mean this season of hard lessons, the experience of the hard-knock life. However, it can be that our greatest strength can come from these surely hard lessons. We are forced to work from our survival and with it and toughness develops, when we choose to stick around, that can take us through another hard knock. With each of those knocks out toughness becomes more improved until we can better appreciate the hits and even welcome them because they really allow us to live life fearlessly, or with a little less fear even.

For all the things we can gain, awards and wealth, it is those difficult times, sometimes the hardest in our lives that are the real treasures on earth. It is never easy to reconcile the painful experiences that we have blessings as we have become too focused on blessings that lead to matchless prosperity. How about we shout amens for those lessons, hard lessons that lead to our blessings, true blessings not limited by a limited and our very human understanding.

I’m Tired

I'm Tired

I'm tired of you
and all you do
to make lies true
when you do whatever to
make me the one who
had to pursue
while you unbothered pursue
your pleasures.

I'm tired
and I want out
now!
Do you hear me?
Can you see me?
Do you even know me?
I don't think you do.
But that's staying true to you
so what's new.
I guess I was the fool
who clung to this mirage of untruths.